Online Gaming Isn't Just Child's Play

An Addiction To Internet Gaming Tore Apart One Woman's Life And Family

(CBS)  To her son Josh, she's just Mom. In the small Arkansas town where she lives, she's Kay. But it took years for Kay Johnson to admit who she really is, CBS News science and technology correspondent Daniel Sieberg reports.

"A recovering addict," Johnson said. "I'm a former gaming addict."

She's not talking about gambling, but an addiction to computer games. For nearly four years, Johnson immersed herself in a never-ending online adventure game called Final Fantasy. In it, players battle creatures, go on quests and socialize with others. For Kay, it was all so alluring that she shut out the real world as her Internet addiction took over.

"My children would come up to talk to me and I'd say, 'wait, wait, Mom's busy. I'll be done in a minute … just give Mommy another minute,'" Johnson said.

These minutes became hours as she played day and night.

"It was my world. It was everything that was anything to me," she said. "My kids, I loved them and I would be there for them, but this is where all my time went."

That was a problem, considering she has two teenage boys, one with special needs. Johnson was playing online around 50 hours a week — but incredibly, her husband was playing even more.

"I had seen the side of my husband's face and the back of his head probably more than I've seen his face during most of our marriage, because he was sitting at the computer," she said.

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Only On The Web: More with former online gaming addict Kay Johnson

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Her husband declined to be interviewed on camera but acknowledged both of them were obsessed by the game. She says they were so obsessed they both stopped working, sending their finances into a tailspin.

"We would take the credit cards and pay the electric light, the groceries and the rent — and, of course, that adds up to a lot of money," she said.

Johnson's case is extreme. Sieberg says he's among the millions play who play and don't get addicted. Even so, many games now come with a warning, reminding players to "have a life." In fact, Internet addiction may soon become an official psychiatric diagnosis.

"It turns out that Internet addiction can be almost identical to other forms of chemical addictions," said Dr. Eric Hollander of the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York.

Hollander treats impulsive behavior, and says that some people's brains are simply wired in a way that makes them vulnerable to addiction. Whether it's alcohol, cocaine or even the computer, quitting causes withdrawal.

"They can experience all kinds of uncomfortable physical sensations when they try to cut back on their Internet use," Hollander said.

He prescribes counseling and sometimes anti-depressants like Lexapro, mood stabilizers like lithium and opiate blockers like Naltrexone. But Johnson quit cold turkey — and took her anger out on the game.

She took the gaming disks and … "I crushed them!" she said.

Johnson has decided to file for divorce, and is determined to remain "game free." She also wants to send a message that even what looks like child's play must be taken in adult moderation.

[airaddiction]

I have to discourage the stupidity, what better way than to tell them how stupid they're?

[whm75smn37]

. Air... your comments are extremely rude and uncalled for. If you play WoW.. go find an elite mob and give it a hug.. If you play FFXI.. go say Hi to Jorm.. or just grow up and learn to state your opinion in a respectful manner. ^_^ While I may not believe in being "addicted" to a game. I do know people who have had rl problems due to games.

Sorry for the misinterpretation of "enabler" yall still got my point. . I think. Right?

Kay,

You said on the forums you were helping real people with real problems. I met one of my best friends through an online game. And I went to his funeral last year. He passed away due to complications from a surgery. It was the first time that I'd 'met' him. However, it most definately was a real friendship. I'd known him just over 10 years, and watched him grow up. ; ;

I just thought I'd check what all new has been posted. Bout to leave work. LoL

[airaddiction]

Of course after stating I should go elsewhere to argue over it, you attempt to start an argument with me over it, then tell me to go away for lack of information over said argument.

Unfortuneately, I wasn't arguing over video game violence. I was comparing it's argument to this dumb article on video game addiction though, if I was anti-gaming you'd have done a great job.

Sadly, I'm not, and you've just made a hypocritical dumb *** out of yourself.

How long have you been checking for my reply now?

es addiction~

[psykiblue]

Actually there was no arguement that I could tell. You are immature and childish, I dont need to argue you it. You prove that all by yourself. Anyone reading your responses who have any sembalance of intelligence will dismiss yours as immature ranting.

No one has blamed video games here for anything. If you had the brains to read, listen and learn you'd realize that its not about blaming gaming its talking about how gaming can cause problems just like anything else in the universe. Unless course you've had someone leave you over games. Then again by the way you respond who could blame them.

Bringing in the videogame/violence point is irrevelant to this discussion. If you want to debate that point with someone go elsewhere to another forum where the topic of conversation is about that particular subject. As for personally, statistically people who play video games violent or otherwise are actually more creative then those who dont. Statistically speaking kids who play violent video games are no more likely to hurt anyone else then those who dont.

There are too many extravariables in any kind of situation where violence is borne out of those kids who use it to hurt people. Such as bullying, abuse at home etc. So before you start spouting something off that has no relevance do your research. Time to get off your soapbox before your alligator gets you.

[airaddiction]

In other words, "I'm going to repeat myself until you agree with me, because I don't actually have an argument."

You're just another idiot so unwilling to admit you're stupid that you had to find another reason for your problems.

If a kid shoots somebody the parents use video games as the scapegoat...so you must have an addiction!

Yes that's right folks! If you're fat, ugly, and have no life you're suffering from video game addiction. You can't simply quit or limit your time, you need help.(and possibly drugs)

Step 1 - Admit it.

Step 2 - Join a pointless group of people so lame they need a support group.

Step 3 - Talk about your gaming/internet addiction on the internet. Justify this by pretending your existence is somehow meaningful now.

[theexhere]

I have a feeling now that they've gotten/are getting a divorce, much of their addictions will subside. The Ex no longer has to worry about his relationship crumbling so he won't need to hide from it. Sometimes the simplest way is exactly what needs to happen.
Posted by melodyl at 02:09 PM : May 03, 2007

That pretty much sums it up melody. I haven't played any games in almost 2 months now. I've even started working on weight loss/exercise and quit smoking and been successful at both so far.

When I first started to talk about this situation I too was under the impressino that there was no such thing as addiction to video games. I looked at it as though there was no physical connection so it couldn't be addiction. I was wrong. The mental addiction is just as real. I don't think I was addicted as much as I feel I was obsessed with goals in the game and escape from my real world troubles.

[psykiblue]

your responses are immature and childish airaddiction. Perhaps it is you who should be meeting the alligator soon.

again, like i've said when you overcome your shortsightedness let us know then perhaps you'll be able to communicate as an adult would. As of right now you act as an immature child would.

[airaddiction]

I'll stop treating you like idiots when you stop acting like idiots?

Seriously...

Are you people really so homely & lonely you have to join hypocritical groups of idiots like gamerwidow feel needed?

[airaddiction]

I'll stop treating you like idiots when you stop acting like idiots?

Seriously...

Are you people really so homely & lonely you have to join hypocritical groups of idiots like gamerwidow feel needed?

[kay--2009]

Very funny itwasntme000!!

Being this is my first blog on CBS; I'm not sure when they close it. That being the case, I would like to invite everyone who has posted or would like to post more on this subject to GamerWidow.com and we can continue this conversation there when it closes here. I will have someone from the website create a new thread under the "General" section of the forum called "CBS Bloggers" We have members who are gamers, former gamers, friends and family of gamers and widow(er)s. Everyone is welcome!

I don't spend large amounts of time on the laptop. I belong to the one forum and yes, I feel it is better time spent there than in a game. Maybe, at the most 1 hour a day between email and the forum. In the forum I'm actually helping real people with real problems. Not real people with virtual problems, as in monsters to kill, questing etc. Remembering that I was not able to be like some people, a casual gamer, I was hardcore and really into what I did. Therefore, for me to just walk away from it completely has been the right decision for me.

Thanks Melody for helping explain enabler. I sometimes forget not everyone has experienced some type of situations. Thanks Michelle for your warm wishes and kind words.
Kay
GamerWidow.com

[psykiblue]

I actually dont have any problems with video games, can play them for an hour and put them down and do other things and continue on with life.

Perhaps you should get over your immaturity and childish before posting here. Such responses are just that, childish, immature and not worth taking seriously. When you stop being so shortsighted let us know.

[airaddiction]

Sorry, I don't know anybody stupid enough to ruin their life over video games.

Just face the facts, you are ree-tah-ded.

[psykiblue]

MichelleM99 You have nothing to apologize for. Actually your responses have been one of the few that havent criticized any kind of addiction. So I thank you for that its refreshing to see that someone can at least look at something with perspective and not get defensive.

As for the rest it is my hope that none of you ever have to go anything this horrible in relation to gaming. Call stupidity if you want to, I hope no one close to you has any issues with gaming b/c with an attitude such as that they will never seek help b/c you'll continue to make them feel stupid when they try to reach out.

gamerwidow.com is an awesome site not just for widows or exgamers but for gamers as well. It is a community of support and hope. Not only that I have made good friend among members and when you are going through something, knowing there are others who you can reach out that will give comfort and support at difficult times helps to lighten the burden of feeling so alone.

[airaddiction]

It's not actually an addiction that causes people to ruin their lives over video games. It is a disease though, a very common disease that threatens to destroy the world...

I call this disease...stupidity. Yes, stupidity is what causes people(hereby known as stupid people) to ruin their lives over video games and such. It does this by completely cutting off their ability to think or use common sense. The effects are devastating. People are getting divorced, losing their homes, blaming video games for all the bad things, even CBS is turning into FOX News...

I have reason to believe Daniel Sieberg is infected with the stupid virus. The bug is spreading fast people!

But there is hope, I have devised a plan to rid our planet of the diabolical virus known as stupid. I suggest we send all of our stupid people to...Florida.

You see, it is my belief that the abundance of alligators in Florida will cause the stupid people to eventually run into them. Now being stupid people, they don't have the common sense required to walk away from the alligators, and may even try to pet them. Thus the stupid people are eaten by alligators and the stupid virus dies with them.

[itwasntme000]

Hi kay you should start an account on wow and make a char on the dalvenger. we could use another good player. ooooooooo

j/k sorry

How much time do you spend on the laptop now on your chat boards now??? Or since it seems like time better spent to you then a video game it is ok???
just a thought.
talk to u tomorrow if this post is still active. Woot almost time to leave work now..

[michellem99-2009]

I have to say I have learnt alot here.I never ever meant to say anything to hurt you. I have my cross to bear. It takes a strong person to share her/his pains and rise above it and want to help others. I have seen what drink does to others and it is not pretty.I told my stepdad you got a driving problem in the late 70s and he could not handle my answer. It true. Kay dear I wish you and your kids well. I watched you talked on CBS web. I tell computer I have to take a break. As a vistually impaired person in my 50s and computer has open world I would never know ofher wise. I do love to play solitaire on computer besides the net.Take care. I do feel us ladies do suffer low or worthless junk taught as girls. It is sad BUT true. I am 52.

[psykiblue]

Perhaps to all the non believers of gaming addiction, perhaps you should visit gamerwidow.com read stories of spouses/partners addicted or exgamer's accounts of how gaming almost ruined their lives or gamers who acknowledge they have a problem and want help.

Would you criticize them openly? Would you mock them for their troubles? Stop being so shortsighted. The world gaming or otherwise does not revolve around you. Sure you may not have problems and can balance everything perfectly fine. Its the same thing that everyone who takes an alcoholic drink isnt an alcoholic but some do have issues with it.

Stop taking this defensively and try putting yourself outside the situation and look at it objectively. If you can do that, then perhaps you'll see that some people do indeed need help while others can game responsibility and its not a problem for their families.

[melodyl-2009]

Kay, I think the issue with this was that the person doesn't understand the clinical term for enablers. My dad was/is an alcoholic. My mom was his enabler by letting him hide it in their closet (given, this was partially out of fear, but still).

You enabled your husband to play the "gross" amount of hours. You enabled him further by playing with him. He then enabled you to continue playing by allowing you not to work.

I think the part that a lot of the gamers are missing is that while there is no chemical being introduced in your body to make you addicted, there is still a heightened sensory addiction to overcome. It's much like a sexual addiction. You do it because it feels good. The more you feel good, the more you want to continue it. It's only when you let it go out of control that it starts affecting your every day life.

I agree though, there is usually something that pushes you to start the addiction in the first place. For Kay, she gave up trying to pull her husband away. She probably needed to feel in control again. He has clearly stated that he was hiding from his problems.

I have a feeling now that they've gotten/are getting a divorce, much of their addictions will subside. Kay is in control of her life, so she doesn't need the crutch to feel like she's in control. The Ex no longer has to worry about his relationship crumbling so he won't need to hide from it. Sometimes the simplest way is exactly what needs to happen.

[sissy-lala]

"But its ok to watch tv/movies for 40 hours a week?
To me sports nuts are some of the worst for this. they can easily spend that much time or more.
Posted by itwasntme000 at 11:00 AM : May 03, 2007"

Did I say that? No, I didn't.

So what's your point?

[psykiblue]

Sometimes its very hard to think of what one might go through if you havent gone through the same things. Sure you might view addiction to gaming as completely out to lunch but that does not mean it does not exist.

I'm not saying pills are the answer either, at least not for me as I am extremely antidrug, I hate taking them. However for some people it is how they get their life back on track and how they fix the things that are going wrong. You cant judge them for that, its the help that they need.

A lot of people can game and not be bothered by it and they can do it responsibility. Just because I know that I can game for an hour and then not play doesnt mean that everyone is like that because they're not. For some gaming borders on obsession with getting the best gear, or the best guild. Sure that may not be your experience but dont discredit that it happens just because you cant see it happening because its not personally related to you.