E-Mail Etiquette: The Do's and Don'ts

Timely Advice From The Authors Of A Guide To Better E-Mails

(CBS)  The "e" in e-mail might as well stand for "essential." Most of us have become hopelessly dependent on the immediacy of communicating with e-mail. Whether it's at a cafe or on a construction site, it's always there, calling us.

According to a recent survey, nearly three-quarters of people say they love their e-mail so much, they'd rather give up chocolate (54%) or coffee (50%) or TV (41%).

But while we might all agree e-mail can be great, we are most definitely not all great e-mailers ...

For some there is the problem of mistakes in sending. When typing in one woman's address it brings up another woman with a similar name — sticky if the e-mail is compromising for one or the other … or both.

Then there is the technology hurdle: Text messaging and e-mail may work for exchanging information, but all that thumb action can get in the way of personal interactions — save that for the phone, or in person.

And then there is the problem of being, perhaps, too polite. Someone writes, 'Thank you," and you write back, 'You're welcome.' They write back again, 'Not at all.' How long does this goes on? You've got to stop it someplace, so how do you do it without being rude?

Enter Will Schwalbe, editor-in-chief of Hyperion Books, and David Shipley, deputy editor of The New York Times' editorial page. They've recently been dispending advice about the do's and don'ts of e-mail around the country.

"In a perfect world, we would have time to compose really eloquent messages where the excitement was contained in the language," Schwalbe told an audience. "That's not our world."

Their new book, "Send: The Essential Guide to Email for Office and Home," offers some common sense tips, but Schwalbe says even those who consider themselves expert e-mailers might benefit.

"When people come up to get a copy of the book, the first thing they always say is they're not buying it for themselves," Schwalbe told CBS Sunday Morning correspondent Daniel Sieberg. "It's like, 'Oh, I have to buy this for my son or my daughter.' Or a lot of people say, 'I have to buy this for my boss.' But then we've been hearing by e-mail from people afterwards who said, like, "I bought it for my boss and then I read it and I realized I have a lot of room to improve."

The problem is that most people aren't aware of their e-mail idiosyncrasies, including me. Most people consider themselves to be masterful messengers. In short, we could all use a lesson. So I decided to send them an e-mail.

David Shipley analyzed my message:

"So the subject line is 'Moving forward,' which has a positive cast to it," Shipley said. "But it seems to me that maybe it could have been slightly more specific."

"If you take a second or two to be precise with what you're e-mailing about, you'll find that most people will be more precise when they respond to you. And then you'll spend a lot less time going back and forth on e-mail," he added.

Good advice. So I wrote him another e-mail ...

"This is getting a little complicated," Shipley said, as his in-box received yet more queries from me. "It's getting to the point where maybe we should be moving to a phone call."

Schwalbe writes, "And as for moving from digital to face-to-face, anytime it gets emotional or confusing or overly complicated or the e-mails start piling up, then it's time to get off e-mail."

AMEN.

Clearly there are limitations when it comes to e-mail exchanges, and I think this correspondence might be better in person at this point, so let's get out from behind the keystrokes.

Apparently the first lesson of e-mail etiquette is, knowing when to e-mail in the first place!

"What we discovered, which is so great, is that if you send better e-mails, not only do you get better e-mails but you get fewer e-mails," said Schwalbe. "But we've also become fans, too, of when to get off e-mail."

[oleander8]

Promotion of an unnecessary book - not news or newsworthy.

[jw218389]

This is a GREAT ADVERTISEMENT for the author of the book!!!

No substance just fluff!!!!

[horse3farm]

Schwalbe and Shipley.....

Find another job.

[hellojenil]

I just had to comment on the advice the two guys were giving on email. 1. the pause before sending advice was twisted, i will have to rewind the tape and hear it again to understand what he said. (although I do agree to think before you send) 2. Fonts and colors, I do believe it is okay to use different fonts as long as you are consevative with them, there are some good fonts out there that can get a reader's attention. 3. Also I use a dark blue color in all my business emails, it separates the forwarded messages and a light blue on action items.
I don't think those two guys were expert enought to give advice on your article and your article could have used more details. Shame on you CBS Sunday morning!

[doriweb]

I enjoyed the twist at the end as I watched the email story, except when the "reveal" occurred and you couldn't see the face of the reporter. I don't watch on a regular basis, so I didn't know who this guy was, and I wanted to see him.

[johnf4270]

Not enough useful/detailed info. in this article. It seemed like all-fluff!

[Geneius]

rf35:

Guess I'll have to get another spell checker. Mine must not even be basic.

[rf35]

I can't BARE much more of this!

[rf35]

E-Mail Etiquette: The Do's and Don'ts

"But it can also give you sort of the necessary romantic cover to begin to bear your soul to someone."


What ever happened to proof reading?! And even a basic computer spell checker would catch "Don'ts." When mistakes like this show up in an article, the credibility of the author becomes questionable.

[Geneius]

How about these people who forward everything as an attachment? I have received email that was six attachments deep. If you want to forward something, forward it inline and not as an attachment.

[CBSTV]

How about the "dos and don'ts" of headline writing? I do not believe an apostrophe belongs in the plural of the word "do" -- it is not possessive.

[michellem99-2009]

I look for the 5 Ws and 1 H when reading news stories. They are WHO,WHAT, WHEN,WHERE,WHY and HOW. I learnt them in high shcool newspaper class in 1970s and they work for cyberspace as well.The first and 2rd paragraphs.

[maryflorita]

TOO BORING....LEARNED -0-......A WASTE OF TIME AND YOU GET PAID FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[michellem99-2009]

I may be one as I grew up with pen and pen. I am in my 50s and do have computer books for platform am using. We did not have what the young now have access to. As a visually and hearing handicapped, I wish they would be mindful of their fort size when writing. I had to tell MSN this and those I write this. So we have seniors,legally blind,others could use it..Manners don't go out of style.*That's not our world*.PLEASE and THANK YOU is .Rudeness is not.I have not seen the book in the story at the stores.I will add the book if I can find it at stores. I do read.

[erasmus6]

I'm thinkin' someone has too much time on their hands!!!!!!!:):):):)

[dudley_plotz]

Bear your soul? Ugh!