Va. Tech Gunman's Family Speaks

Cho Family Says It Feels "Hopeless, Helpless"; Vigils And Prayer Services Span U.S.

(CBS/AP)  The family of Virginia Tech gunman Seung-Hui Cho told The Associated Press on Friday that they feel “hopeless, helpless and lost,” and “never could have envisioned that he was capable of so much violence.”

“He has made the world weep. We are living a nightmare,” said a statement issued by Cho's sister, Sun-Kyung Cho, on the family's behalf. It was the Chos' first public comment since the 23-year-old student killed 32 people and committed suicide Monday.

The family reached out to Raleigh, N.C., lawyer Wade Smith, who provided the statement to the AP. Smith said the family would not answer any questions.

“Our family is so very sorry for my brother's unspeakable actions. It is a terrible tragedy for all of us,” said Sun-Kyung Cho, who works as a contractor for a State Department office that oversees American aid for Iraq.

“We pray for their families and loved ones who are experiencing so much excruciating grief. And we pray for those who were injured and for those whose lives are changed forever because of what they witnessed and experienced,” she said. “Each of these people had so much love, talent and gifts to offer, and their lives were cut short by a horrible and senseless act.”

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Read the full statement here.

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The family's whereabouts are unclear. But authorities said they are under law enforcement protection.

“We are humbled by this darkness. We feel hopeless, helpless and lost. This is someone that I grew up with and loved. Now I feel like I didn't know this person,” she said.

“We have always been a close, peaceful and loving family. My brother was quiet and reserved, yet struggled to fit in. We never could have envisioned that he was capable of so much violence.”

She said her family will cooperate fully with investigators and “do whatever we can to help authorities understand why these senseless acts happened. We have many unanswered questions as well.”

The statement was issued during a statewide day of mourning for the victims of the worst massacre in U.S. history.

Earlier, shock gave way to grief as silence fell across the Virginia Tech campus at noon Friday and bells tolled in churches nationwide in memory of the 32 victims.

Hundreds of somber students and area residents, most wearing the school's maroon and orange, stood with heads bowed at a memorial on the Drill field in front of Norris Hall, where most of the victims in Monday's massacre died. Along with the bouquets and candles was a yellow sign covered in maroon and orange handprints, bearing the words "Never forgotten."

"It's good to feel the love of people around you," said Alice Lo, an alumna and friend of Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, a French instructor killed in the rampage. "With this evil, there is still goodness."

The mourners gathered in front of simple stone memorials, each adorned with a basket of tulips and an American flag. There were 33 stones — one for each victim and Cho Seung-Hui, the 23-year-old gunman who took their lives.

"His family is suffering just as much as the other families," said Elizabeth Lineberry of Hillsville, who will be a freshman at Tech in the fall.

Devon Shields, a 26-year-old graduate student, stood just outside the ring of stones.

"I almost feel guilty for not being here when it happened," said Shields, who was student-teaching when the shots rang out Monday. "I came here because I just had to connect with it in some way."

Other students returned to daily activities, refusing to let one madman’s actions define their lives or the university, reports CBS News correspondent Sharyn Alfonsi. Virginia Tech baseball players, for example, went back to the field.

“We gotta do this,” said Tech baseball player Nate Parks. “You can’t let somebody who does something like this win.”

As experts pored over Cho's videotaped rant and his twisted writings, Gov. Timothy Kaine declared Friday a statewide day of mourning for the victims, and parents urged everyone to focus on the young people cut down in the attack, not the killer.

"We want the world to know and celebrate our children's lives, and we believe that's the central element that brings hope in the midst of great tragedy," said Peter Read, who lost his 19-year-old daughter, Mary Karen Read. "These kids were the best that their generation has to offer."

Churches around the country, from California to the National Cathedral in Washington, planned vigils and prayer services.

"It's a whole family," said Jan Meehan-Tardiff of Blacksburg, a nurse who has four family members with degrees from Virginia Tech. Around Blacksburg, "you either work at Tech, serve Tech in business or go to Tech."

President Bush wore an orange and maroon tie in a show of support. The White House said he also asked top officials at the Justice, Health and Human Services and Education Departments to travel the country, talk to educators, mental health experts and others, and compile a report on how to prevent similar tragedies.

In Richmond, several thousand people jammed a park at Virginia Commonwealth University as a distant church bell tolled 32 times across VCU's silent urban campus. Beneath the park's massive oaks, people stood with their heads bowed, tears welling in their eyes.

"As a parent, you just can't imagine what their families are going through," said Diane Willard of suburban Richmond. Her own two children attend a community college.

Nearby, James Verlander, a burly Richmond firefighter, shed tears and tenderly recited a Christian responsive reading. "If this doesn't hurt you, something's wrong with you," he said.

Memorial services were also held around the nation Thursday, with many conducted on college campuses. Nearly 3,000 students gathered at Western Kentucky University in Bowling Green for a vigil that included a banner that read, "Today We Are All Hokies."

Private funeral ceremonies were held Thursday for two international students killed in the massacre. Egyptian Waleed Mohammed Shaalan and Partahi Mamora Halomoan Lumbantoruan, a civil engineering doctoral student from Indonesia, also will have funerals in their home countries. A funeral was held Friday in Israel for professor Liviu Librescu.

As families mourned and began burying the victims, investigators worked on the evidence and looked into the warning signs in Cho's past, including two stalking complaints against him and a psychiatric hospital visit in which he was found to be a danger to himself.

The Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence, the nation's leading gun control group, has charged that neither of the guns should have made it into Cho's hands, reports CBS News chief investigative correspondent Armen Keteyian.

"If the current law on the books had been effectively administered and followed, this individual would not have been able to buy these guns."

According to the FBI, once a person is disqualified — "adjudicated," or judged, by a court to be mentally defective — "he/she is prohibited for life" from owning a gun.

The Brady Center says Cho met that legal definition when a special court-appointed justice declared that Cho "presents an imminent danger to himself as a result of mental illness."

But Virginia State Police tell CBS News that Cho was "not prohibited" from owning a gun because, despite declaring Cho a danger to himself, the judge did not commit him against his will to a mental health facility but instead ordered him to undergo outpatient treatment.

When Virginia gun dealers did the required background checks, Cho's name was not in the system — and he walked away with two very deadly weapons.

Today, the AFT, the federal agency responsible for regulating firearms told that its general counsel is reviewing whether the federal gun law was interpreted correctly.

Meanwhile, Police filed a search warrant for a laptop and cell phone used by one of the first victims, Emily Hilscher, who was shot in a dormitory.

"The computer would be one way the suspect could have communicated with the victim," the warrant said, but it offered no basis for a belief that Cho might have been in contact with her.

[crispyo-2009]

I feel deeply sorry for all the victim's families, but I especially feel sorry for the Cho family. It's devistating enough to find out your son/brother is dead, but then to find out he's responsible for 32 other people's deaths, and the worst shooting massacre ever in the US. That is something you will never recover from. The innocent victim's families will at least be able to think of the great memories of their lost one, but the Chos won't be able to think of Seung-Hui without feeling horrible for what he did. After reading a breif history of the Cho family, it seems they had a hard life, and only now finally settled into a home, but then this happened, and they had to flee that home and be protected by police. Even though I know they will never recover from something like this, I hope they find some sort of peace and hope Seung-Hui's sister is able to continue her already successful life.

- Chris

[grazinggoat]

This all has to do with morals and principles being thrown out of our society and the lack of God in our school systems.
Posted by singinrick at 06:34 PM : Apr 21, 2007

-The loving God you're promoting has never held a gun in his hands and killed whoever doesn't think like him. The Creator has been and will ever be generous by and to his creation. No need to channel the goodness of this Creator into some profitable structure that will sweap the world with its benediction if you support it, and will dman you if not.
-The love this victim (Cho!) needed so much is not present in this society that puts the interest of economy and wealth ahead of the interest and dignity of humans. His acts are not justifiable, but need to be avoided. We got to have a human-support system that will maintain the dignity of humans in case of failure, because to the image of the Creator, constant success is not granted to 100% of Creatures.

[hermit22]

Deserves a repost:

think all parents should teach their children at an early age that name-calling, teasing, and bullying is totally unacceptable behavior. All teachers should advocate on behalf of any child being teased and adequately disciplining children that behave in this manner.

I also think that parents and teachers should learn about and teach others about mental illness and eliminate the stigmas attached to mental illness. They should encourage and support those who seek mental health treatment.

If someone you know has diabetes you would encourage them to seek medical care. The same should go for someone with possible depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.

The typical onset of schizophrenia is late teens--early-mid twenties.

It is easy to think of a million safety precautions to enact in the immediate; however prevention should begin at child birth and continue throughout our lifetimes.
Posted by tman3209 at 08:41 PM : Apr 20, 2007

[hermit22]

Deserves a repost:

Why is the country asked to pray after a school shooting, and told we are not allowed to pray in schools before a shooting or any other violent act. When God was kicked out of schools guns moved in.
Posted by beagodschild at 11:54 AM : Apr 20, 2007

[drew30319-2009]

likeitis5050:
"They will have to endure the sad reality that a child of theirs caused so much devistation. And yet, he was still their child. Eventually the families of the victims will find a way to move on and turn something so awful into honors, but the gunman's family will never recover."

I hope that this was your intention but your comments are incredibly tasteless.

You are lifting the family of a killer above the family of victims.

Why?

Why do you believe that I will "find a way to move on" with my only child murdered?

Why do you believe that parents that raise a child that is a murderer are more worthy of your condolences?

Your comments are a perfect example of what is wrong with the "Criminal Justice" system. This is NOT about the criminals. This is about the VICTIMS.

I am disgusted that there is no place for accountability anymore. Disgusted that there are members of our society that focus their energies on the criminal; not on the victims.

I sincerely hope that your comments weren't fully thought out.

- Drew Crecente, Director, Jennifer Ann's Group
Proud father of Jennifer Ann Crecente, murdered at the age of 18 on February 15, 2006. Proud that I didn't raise a murderer. Proud that I raised an honor student, a hospital volunteer, camp counselor, an asset to society and the very best part of me.

[joanpz]

No one is to blame when the State of Virginia, Pennsylvania and one other, DO NOT ALLOW A PERSON TO BE TREATED WITHOUT THEIR OWN CONSENT.
No parent,doctor, teacher, school, or police officer can FORCE these individuals to go to a Medical Clinic & if the Doctors find that the PATIENT DOES NOT WANT to TAKE MEDICINE THE SITUATION IS HOPELESS! Where is the ANSWER - read a book titled "CRAZY" (describing the SYSTEM) by a Fairfax, VA journalist. Thanks, to a kind POLICEMAN WHOSE ADVICE WAS: "TELL THE POLICE THAT THE YOUR SON HAS 'THREATENED TO KILL YOU' and then MEDICAL TREATMENT IS GIVEN!
Seems there are 300,000 MENTALLY DISADVANTAGED PERSONS IN STATE PRISONS because THE MENTAL HOSPITALS HAVE BEEN CLOSED. The PROMISE OF MEDICAL CARE has almost VANISHED by INSURERS!
LEGALESE....No one can RISK A LAW SUIT PROVING THE SITUATION....which can be made to LOOK NULL & VOID...Amen!

[likeitis5050]

miscmood thank you for sharing. There are so many families who can relate to your experience. I am sorry for the family of the gunman. They will have to endure the sad reality that a child of theirs caused so much devistation. And yet, he was still their child. Eventually the families of the victims will find a way to move on and turn something so awful into honors, but the gunman's family will never recover. I hope you are finding some peace in being able to share your story. Thanks, again.

[drew30319-2009]

There are many indicators of an abusive personality. It's unfortunate that while many saw these behaviors in this killer that apparently there were many, including his family, that apparently did not see them. I do feel badly for his family but am also a firm proponent of "nurture" over "nature."

Although not all of the below applies in this instance, below are the warning signs that my charity uses to help educate teens and young adults.

"Ten Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship"
* History of discipline problems.
* Blames you for his/her anger.
* Serious drug or alcohol use.
* History of violent behavior.
* Threatens others regularly.
* Insults you or calls you names.
* Trouble controlling feelings like anger.
* Tells you what to wear, what to do or how to act.
* Threatens or intimidates you in order to get their way.
* Prevents you from spending time with friends or family.

Many of the above warning signs were present in the killer's behavior. Hopefully more people will become aware of these warning signs and have the resources to seek help.

Additionally colleges and high schools across the country will hopefully adopt plans for dating violence. As the police and university staff were discussing how to handle what they perceived as a "domestice violence" incident the killer was preparing for the other murders.

Jennifer Ann's Group
www.JenniferAnn.org

[miscmood]

As the mother of Joshua Phillips, who at age 14, was arrested, tried and convicted of the first-degree murder of an 8-year-old neighbor girl, I can fully empathize with the Cho family. I believe their statement to be heartfelt. Just reading it was a trigger point to my own on-going grief and heartbreak. Not a day goes by that I don't think of the victim and her family in my son's case. When I read news accounts such as this, I mentally relive my own family's tragedy. Even though it's been nearly a decade after my son's arrest, it is never farther than a heart's thought away.

My heart and prayers go out to the families of the victims and Cho's family. The tentacles of such a tragedy are so far-reaching to be mind-boggling.

And, I can, from personal experience, tell anyone reading these words, that the unthinkable can strike any family any where. Without warning. My family, and the Cho family, are no longer thinking about that poor family down the street whose son took a life. We ARE that poor family. My son's tragedy was covered in a CBS 48 Hours report twice, and I remember the producer at CBS telling me that "there but for the grace of God go I."

May the peace that passes all understanding encircle the survivors, the victims and their heartbroken, stunned families, and the Cho family, who, just as I, undoubtedly have just as many unanswered questions and hurting hearts.

Missy Phillips

[surfinator]

Even though Cho committed a selfish act of terrorism and there is no defense for his actions, we have to have compassion for the Cho family. They are suffering, not only the loss of a son, but also the guilt associatd with their son's actions. Along with my prayers for the families of all of this madman's victims, I pray Cho's family will also find peace.

[toolmangler-2009]

Parents just don't seem to be very good noticers anymore.
Posted by jmn48603 at 10:57 PM : Apr 20, 2007




And sometimes Children are good deceivers, I know of several and so do you if you had or were involved with kids.

[retmilspouse]

God who? There is no God. Where was God when the shooter was ready to kill ? God should have intervened and knocked off the basssssssssssstard. Instead God allowed this tragedy to take place. For what reason????? And don't tell me, "God works in mysterious ways". It won't fly.
Posted by elgraz at 08:42 AM : Apr 20, 2007

We cant explain it to you. If you do not have faith you do not understand. So stay in your agnostic or atheist world forever your spiritual mind is. You cannot understand unless you put yourself in the shoes of the one that died for all of our sins, then you will understand what it is all about.

[rvladybrat]

One said that they didn't understand why the family didn't know what was going on with him. Well, I'd like to ask that person if they know what is going on with their kid or if their parent knows everything about them. I have a friend that stated that they knew everything about their child. They found out different when that child took his life and left a note for them.
Not everyone knows what is wrong with their child.
My heart goes out to all of the lost. It hurts so much to see this in the news all the time. But, if it is not there then we forget that it happens. For the ones who do not want to see it they can turn off the tv. But, if you do then after time you will drift into that other world where the children live. Forgetting the bad that really does happen.

[dblbar]

believe the apology was a sincere gesture on the part of Cho's family. This also must be a difficult time for them - particularly since in most Asian cultures, their son's actions would have brought serious SHAME on their family for generations to come.
Posted by barbaraf4 at 10:01 PM : Apr 20, 2007

Imagine how that must feel. I understand they are in hiding and yes, I think it shames the families for generations to come. How sad they didn't know something was wrong.

[mee100]

R.I.P to all the lost lives. For the families and friends, may you keep GOD close to your hearts and don't give up. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP and tell yourself that GOD is going to make everything better and your friends and LOVED ONES is still with you, by your side and in your hearts.

[erasmus6]

Gaye5

When I read your post about there being more crime in Australia, Canada and Britain, I was shocked. Shocked because I couldn't believe that someone would say that when it is absolultey false. I live in Canada and the gun crime hear doesn't even come close to the American gun crime. You need to get your facts straight.

[abooreen]

how sad,how very,very sad.so much sadness and so much unger.i feel very bad for the family,not only did they loose a sonbut they lost everything with him at the same time.why so much hatred.........why.
i sometimes wish i was god,so that i can erase all the devestation caused by this kid.
god bless all of you.........god bless america.

[chadb19]

This is a terrible event but dont forget that we are loosing the same numbers of kids every week in Iraq! Why arent people as upset about that??

[rheola-2009]

Saddenedinmi.

From my observations, for what little they may be worth, Bullying is generally a product of bad parentage, generally, you will find the Parents of most, but not all bullies are in themselves arrogant, overbearing people, who so very wrongly regard themselves as superior, however when you think about, that, opinion of themselves confirms their inferority, as a result of their anti social behaviour, which unfortunately they pass on to their children.

Though now years ago, my daughter suffered severe, bullying, simply because we were not in the socio economic situation as where her tormentors, she is now 40 years old, and still suffers from the trauma caused.
Fortunately her own daughter who had been subjected to similar bullying, stood up for herself, and as is always the case, bullies being cowards, they backed off, and now do not bother her.

One thing was always blatantly obvious, the bullies had more rights, than those being bullied, and as in your case, the victim is often punished.
Woe behold any parent of a bullied child who makes an accusation against those holier than thou parents of bullies.

I realise we are wandering off the track, however I feel in this matter it is relevant.

[toolmangler-2009]

I hope his (Cho's) family does not see these comments. People seem to forget that they lost a loved one also. Since I do not believe that his family had any idea he was going to do this, I hold my arms open to them to comfort them as I have comforted others. My God taught me to forgive, and I do.....