Being A "Good-Enough Mother"

Rene Syler Talks About Her Double Mastectomy And Her New Book

(CBS)  A lot has been going on in former Early Show co-anchor Rene Syler's life.

She recently had a double mastectomy as a preventative measure because both her parents had breast cancer.

"It was a process," she told The Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith. "It wasn't something we thought about and said, 'I'm going to have a double mastectomy.' It was a process over a period of years; a decision I had spoken with my doctors about it … I was in every year having a mammogram followed by a biopsy and it was too much."

Syler said most people supported her but she received some criticism that she was playing God.

"I said, 'Where in the Bible does it say I'm supposed to die a terrible death and my children have to watch that and be left without a mother? Where does it say that?' " she said. "At the end of the day it was my decision. It was not the decision for everyone but it was mine."

She also just released a book called "Good-Enough Mother: The Perfectly Imperfect Book of Parenting," in which she says a "good-enough mother" is one who trades perfection for practicality. Syler has two children, daughter Casey and son Cole, and she has been forced to make due with her mothering limitations.

"I'm not a great cook," she said. " 'The Good-Enough Mother Cookbook,' which I'm working on, is going to be heavy on pop tarts and starches."

More importantly, she hopes her book will let women be at peace with the kind of mother they are.

"I think women are out there searching for answers," Syler said. "I say buy the book but the answers are not in the book. The answers are inside. You know instinctively how to care for your own children."

But Syler didn't always know that. Before she had her daughter, she was extremely nervous. A woman she didn't know well must have sensed Syler's apprehension because she felt moved to offer her some advice.

"You need to relax," Syler said the woman told her. "You and only you can be the best mother to that child. I took that with me and I took that to heart. I tell myself that all the time, especially when I'm screwing up."

Syler also takes lessons from her own mother, who worked and did the best she could, which Syler says is the key to being a "GEM."

"My mother was the first example of a 'good-enough mother,' " Syler said. "She worked during the day. She would come home and take care of us. Times were tough. We didn't have a lot of money. My parents didn't get along real great. She plugged away, plugged away. That's the lesson I really wanted to impart to viewers and readers."

After Syler gave birth to her daughter, she thought that having children was easy. Casey slept well, was quiet and always behaved in public.

"She tricked us into having another child because then along came gasoline, Cole," Syler said. "You know, I joke, he should have been named 'Get Down From There' because he's so spirited and so wonderful. Both of the kids are. They're such a great balance."

But Casey and Cole are not impressed with their mother's publishing success.

"Here's what they want to know," she said. " 'Are we going to get paid?' I said, 'How about you get to stay at home until you're 18 and I pay for your college?' "

Read an excerpt here or visit the Web site.

"Good-Enough Mother" is published by Simon spotlight entertainment, a division of Simon & Schuster which, like CBS News.com, is owned by the CBS Corporation.

[jeanh8]

I was delighted to see Rene Syler on the Early Show this morning. I have missed her and am so sorry that CBS Early Show chose to let her go as she added a nice taste to the show. I'm delighted to know that she has written this book and healing from her surgery.

[tkpatterson4]

I have been wondering about what happened to Rene' for weeks. I missed the good-bye episode, so I was wondering if she was on 'special assignment' or something. It is great to hear that she is in good health, and doing what she loves so much. I just miss her in the mornings.

As for those individuals who criticized her for her decision to take a proactive aproach regarding the breast cancer I say they are hypocrites. If these individuals were in the position of having to deal with a medical condition year after year that could eventually become a terminal one and eventually kill them and they had an opportunity to preserve their health and lives they would do the same thing.

Rene', keep on keeping on.

[dwilli17]

I was so glad to see Rene this morning. She is an inspiration to me and every young professional woman that has to make the decision to put the needs of her family first. I wish you well in all of your future endeavors. I hope to see you back on TV soon. However, if not I will certainly look forward to your books.

Thanks for setting a great example.

[ajaxrose1]

It's great to know that Renee is doing so well. I've missed her in the mornings. In her shoes I would have eventually come to the same choice about the mastectomy and hang what other people thought. She sounds like a good mom to me and I'm glad there's a book out there for women that doesn't promote absolute perfection. You know what? I've been a GEM and managed to raise my sons, partly on my own, into great young men that I'm very proud of and that other people are proud of FOR me. The thing about being a GEM is that it means you're the best mom you know how to be and you keep your kid's best interests at heart. Thanks Renee!

[lisapenguin]

In the interview, Rene stated that she had prayed about the decision to have the double mastectomy, and that she had talked to her husband about it (not just to her doctors). The text version replaces this portion with "...". WHY? This is very important to her story, and it should be included. Why are the media so obsessed with cutting God out of the picture? (Rene: EXCELLENT interview!!)

[eli6749]

Hello Rene,
I have been thinking about you. Wondering where you were. I must have missed your last day on the early show. My daughters (2) are already raised but I am purchasing your book for them and my neice. I miss you on the show.

Love the Early Show - My favorite.
Be well,
Liz

[iwbrown]

It was nice to see Rene again. We've missed her on CBS! I really like the excerpt from here new book Good Enough Mother. I am happy that all is going well after her Double Mastectomy. A special thanks goes out to CBS for giving the viewing audience a chance to here about Rene's current happy life. We the viewers are very proud of our choice to watch CBS News everyday!

Sincerely,
Wanda
SC

[gr8maturemom]

This excerpt is quite an entertaining read. But, Renee doesn't seem to give herself enough credit. She sounds like an amazing mom!