February 11, 2009 5:05 PM

Older "Cougars" Prey On Young Men

By
Caitlin A. Johnson
(CBS)  Sparks flew when Ann Bancroft seduced Dustin Hoffman in film "The Graduate."

Almost 40 years later, women everywhere — on screen and off — are flaunting their hippest accessory: a sexy, younger man.

"Women are so different now — there's no question," relationship writer Amy Kean told The Early Show co-anchor Russ Mitchell. "Since the beginning of time, women have been basically valued for their youth and their beauty, and men have been valued for their ability to provide for a family. But now so many women have great, thriving careers they just really don't need men the way they used to."

For example, 44-year-old Demi Moore is married to 29-year-old Ashton Kutcher while 40-year-old Halle Berry is dating 31-year-old Gabriel Aubry. There is a 17-year gap between actress Susan Sarandon and longtime boyfriend Tim Robbins.

"When it becomes celebrity driven, it becomes acceptable to everybody. They say, 'Well, if they do then it's OK," Canadian author Valerie Gibson who wrote the book "Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men." "A cougar is a very sophisticated, a very attractive, a very sensually-aware woman, very much in control of her life. She's got a lot of energy. Today they're very fit they're very healthy. They're very successful, very independent and sophisticated."

The cougar-cub relationship is a perfect fit for all kinds of couples.

"I do sometimes compare us to Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher because they're so successful in their relationship," said 34-year-old Stefanie Schwartz, who is engaged to 24-year-old Matt Cavender.

She says one of the great things about dating a younger man is that she is forced to keep up with women his age and, therefore, stays in good shape.

"When I first brought him over to my girlfriends house, she said, 'Oh, you've lost so much weight!' I feel like I have to keep up with women his age and look better and it just makes me feel younger. He's adventurous," she said.

According to a recent online survey, 67 percent of women say they've dated a younger man and 49 percent of men admit to dating an older woman.

Gibson said now the men are even driving the trend.

"The younger men love it. They love the new trend. They go out on their own — they're called 'cougar hunters.' They have Web sites on their own where to find cougars, what to do with them when you find them," she said. "People often say to me, 'Don't these relationships break up more often then others?' and I say, 'They're just like any other relationship: you either get along and everything works or it doesn't.' "

Kean said the trend shows no signs of stopping because women are not going "back to the kitchen" and will only continue to grow stronger and more confident.

"It just means these women are taking what they want," she said. "It's about time. Men have done it forever."

Copyright 2009 CBS. All rights reserved.
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by raylc2010 March 15, 2010 10:44 AM EDT
I totally agree that this "new" (not so new - just more public) is about women being upfront and proud of what they want. Why should women (and younger men for that matter) have to be ashamed of desiring particular qualities in their partners, age being one of them? there are hundreds of people using sites like http://www.cougared.com and others, making mature decisions about who they want to be with. i don't see why they should explain themselves or that what they're doing is wrong or weird.
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by TheeRomantic January 9, 2010 8:58 AM EST
I have dated a few women that have been more mature then myself and I see nothing wrong with it. Most of the women I do have relationships are mid 30?s to lower 40?s but I do come across a silver fox (50 or up) here and there. I mean older men have dating younger for so long. What so weird of a mature woman preying of a younger man? I?m happy to finally see women get out there and date/have relations with younger men. Matter of fact any of you ladies want/need a younger man in your life be free to message me at myspace.com/theeromantic760.

I know the mature women I?ve dated or had relations with. They enjoyed how I gave them that feeling of that spark, endless bliss, that missing passion and etc? Sometimes when you?re in a relationship where your lover forgets about you, stops making love to you, kissing you in those sweating hot ways that you love or he doesn?t even notice when you change something about yourself like your hair. You get to a point to where you to be noticed again. So you go date that the younger man notices everything about you and give?s that missing passion you long for. So what does it matter if you choice to date someone younger? I support to thee fulfills!! Remember love is blind no matter the age and race.

Yes; I am sure there?s some psychologist out there saying there?s a mental unbalance in that individual?s brain. I was rinsed in happy home, have a healthy relationship with both of my parents and so on. I just enjoy a mature woman compared to women my age there are more intelligent, very sensual and just understands what is important in life.
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by susierox1 October 21, 2009 8:44 PM EDT
I say older women who fancy older men, GO FOR IT!! I am 59 and my partner is 42 and we don't even think about the age difference as I look a lot younger and he looks older. Most men my age look at least 10 years older as they don't take care of themselves and grow revolting grey beards, which puts a lot of women our age right off. Men have gone with younger women for years, so why can't older women go with younger men. We're past the child bearing age, our children have usually left home and we're as free as we like. We're independent, usually earning reasonable money and don't need a man to lean on. HERE'S TO IT. I fancy younger guys. YAHOO!
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by RoyalMaster September 24, 2009 9:24 PM EDT
<b>Man.... I love older Women lol ;)
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by passionfruit7 June 1, 2009 2:59 PM EDT
Would love to share that I met the most amazing individual who is 9 years younger, I am 44 and he is 35. I feel like I dreamt him into life. This relationship is according to him feels like an "upward spiral". Who would have thought taking the train would be so rewarding.
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by RoyalMaster September 24, 2009 9:27 PM EDT
http://www.myspace.com/thamasterdon
by passionfruit7 June 1, 2009 2:04 PM EDT
Meet the most amazing guy ever, the only problem is he is 9 years younger, or so I thought. It turns out that I dreamt him into life. We have amazing connections and he can never say the wrong thing and never has. Who would have thougth that taking the train would be so rewarding.
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by sean4567 March 23, 2009 1:10 AM EDT
http://www.talkingdating.com
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by sean4567 March 23, 2009 1:07 AM EDT
http://www.talkingdating.com
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by sean4567 March 23, 2009 1:06 AM EDT
<a href="http://www.talkingdating.com">Online Dating</a>
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by toldyouso21 April 6, 2007 5:27 PM EDT
Since I turned 40, I have had more "children" hitting on me than anyone else from ages 16 to somewhere in their 30s. Though in a way it is complimentary, as a married woman with kids older than them I have always found it a bit disconcerting. I do look really young for my age (I'm nearing 50 now and many think I am in my 20s) but I was always attracted to older men.

My hubby looks like he is in his late 60s even though he is only 8 yrs. older. This never bothered me until recently. Now, he acts like he is old--constantly complaining of aches, wanting only bland food and not really wanting to do much --even his conversation is old fashioned .."In my day..." While I am not ready for and do not relish 20 somethings or even most 30 somethings--I can see why some women go that route--just like women, men need to realize they are as old as they feel and act and reflect. With many men acting like aging babies or petulant kids and with a libido that may need drugs to be effective, look for many more 'cougars' to go after 'cubs'.
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