Older "Cougars" Prey On Young Men

Sexy, Older Women Are Dating Younger Men — And The Men Are Loving It

(CBS)  Sparks flew when Ann Bancroft seduced Dustin Hoffman in film "The Graduate."

Almost 40 years later, women everywhere — on screen and off — are flaunting their hippest accessory: a sexy, younger man.

"Women are so different now — there's no question," relationship writer Amy Kean told The Early Show co-anchor Russ Mitchell. "Since the beginning of time, women have been basically valued for their youth and their beauty, and men have been valued for their ability to provide for a family. But now so many women have great, thriving careers they just really don't need men the way they used to."

For example, 44-year-old Demi Moore is married to 29-year-old Ashton Kutcher while 40-year-old Halle Berry is dating 31-year-old Gabriel Aubry. There is a 17-year gap between actress Susan Sarandon and longtime boyfriend Tim Robbins.

"When it becomes celebrity driven, it becomes acceptable to everybody. They say, 'Well, if they do then it's OK," Canadian author Valerie Gibson who wrote the book "Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men." "A cougar is a very sophisticated, a very attractive, a very sensually-aware woman, very much in control of her life. She's got a lot of energy. Today they're very fit they're very healthy. They're very successful, very independent and sophisticated."

The cougar-cub relationship is a perfect fit for all kinds of couples.

"I do sometimes compare us to Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher because they're so successful in their relationship," said 34-year-old Stefanie Schwartz, who is engaged to 24-year-old Matt Cavender.

She says one of the great things about dating a younger man is that she is forced to keep up with women his age and, therefore, stays in good shape.

"When I first brought him over to my girlfriends house, she said, 'Oh, you've lost so much weight!' I feel like I have to keep up with women his age and look better and it just makes me feel younger. He's adventurous," she said.

According to a recent online survey, 67 percent of women say they've dated a younger man and 49 percent of men admit to dating an older woman.

Gibson said now the men are even driving the trend.

"The younger men love it. They love the new trend. They go out on their own — they're called 'cougar hunters.' They have Web sites on their own where to find cougars, what to do with them when you find them," she said. "People often say to me, 'Don't these relationships break up more often then others?' and I say, 'They're just like any other relationship: you either get along and everything works or it doesn't.' "

Kean said the trend shows no signs of stopping because women are not going "back to the kitchen" and will only continue to grow stronger and more confident.

"It just means these women are taking what they want," she said. "It's about time. Men have done it forever."

[germanmom]

It bugs me that girlfriends/boyfriends are thought of as possessions!

[nani17-2009]

If you're older, single and are ready for a lot of energy, I say go for it! I met a younger man several months ago, completely unexpected, and I'm having a great time. There are ups and downs just like any relationship. The best parts about this relationship is it's honest and playful.

[rgold02]

I am 46, my boyfriend(whom I don not own)is 40! He's been watching me for 1 year before asking me out! We have been together since November 2006. I have not dated a man in 8 yrs, because I was waiting for my kids to grow up and move out. This man is one of the best things that has happened to me in my life. I will always apreciate what we have and have had. The only thing that I find "funny", is I wear him out! Hee Hee

[sweetjill1]

I don't think that there is anything wrong with these "May-December" relationships. What's most important is how the couple that are involved feel. I am comfortable at both ends of the spectrum - whether I was the older or the younger partner - and I think that age is ONLY a state of mind anyway! I always tease the men that I am involved with and tell them that I hope that they can keep up with me anyway LOL. Besides, I find it very flattering when a younger man is interested in me. It makes me feel wanted and youthful, not that that I am old at 45! - smiles. Have a great Easter weekend, E/everyone!

[randalds]

My wife is nearly 13 years older then me, but I don't think it was a trend back when we got married 13 years ago. I remember on our 2nd date she very nervously told me she'd just turned 50 (I had just turned 37 a few month before) and she was worried about what I'd think. So I proposed to her. We got married 3 weeks later and are still happily married. We've had our usual rough patches, but she's still my best friend who I want to grow old (older?) with. A few people raised their eyebrow but I think it was more for how quickly we married rather then the age difference. Though some of her fellow nurses did give her a high five. Hmmmm....

[heresmy2cent]

How did these older "ladies" become known as "cougars?"

How 'bout "bats?" That would be more accurate in many instances for alot of older women.

[toldyouso21]

Since I turned 40, I have had more "children" hitting on me than anyone else from ages 16 to somewhere in their 30s. Though in a way it is complimentary, as a married woman with kids older than them I have always found it a bit disconcerting. I do look really young for my age (I'm nearing 50 now and many think I am in my 20s) but I was always attracted to older men.

My hubby looks like he is in his late 60s even though he is only 8 yrs. older. This never bothered me until recently. Now, he acts like he is old--constantly complaining of aches, wanting only bland food and not really wanting to do much --even his conversation is old fashioned .."In my day..." While I am not ready for and do not relish 20 somethings or even most 30 somethings--I can see why some women go that route--just like women, men need to realize they are as old as they feel and act and reflect. With many men acting like aging babies or petulant kids and with a libido that may need drugs to be effective, look for many more 'cougars' to go after 'cubs'.

[sean4567]

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[sean4567]

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[sean4567]

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[passionfruit7]

Meet the most amazing guy ever, the only problem is he is 9 years younger, or so I thought. It turns out that I dreamt him into life. We have amazing connections and he can never say the wrong thing and never has. Who would have thougth that taking the train would be so rewarding.

[passionfruit7]

Would love to share that I met the most amazing individual who is 9 years younger, I am 44 and he is 35. I feel like I dreamt him into life. This relationship is according to him feels like an "upward spiral". Who would have thought taking the train would be so rewarding.