Why Men Won't Commit

(CBS)  An article in the latest edition of Cosmopolitan magazine examines the difficulty of getting the modern man to settle down. Editor in chief Kate White talked about this new breed of commitment-phobic man with Early Show co-anchor Hannah Storm.

"It's so annoying because he wants to have his cake and eat it to," White said. "He wants to be in the relationship, likes the security of that, but likes the excitement he can be — get out of it when he wants."

White said Diddy and Owen Wilson are part of the boyfriend/bachelor breed. They are men who like to have long-term relationships but don't want to take the next step.

She said there are three major factors why men are having difficulty settling down:

It's Hot To Be A Bachelor Right Now

White blames George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey, who make being bachelors look so good.

"Years ago, if you were 40 and still not married, there would be something wrong with you if you were a straight man and still living on your own, and today it's cool," White said.

Many guys are encouraged to stall marriage by friends who remind them of their carefree days as a bachelor. White said that women should try to blend the two worlds so their men don't feel like they have to choose.

"Be friends with his friends," she said. "At the same time, give him a little bit of a long leash so he can hang with them so he doesn't feel so threatened."

Option Overload

Another problem, White said, is that because women are also putting off marriage, there are more to choose from and men feel like they are always looking for the best option.

"They don't know when to stop shopping," she said. "They may like you and think you're great but there's this sense, 'there could be someone even better if I just keep looking.' That's a real problem."

Women should pay attention to some key warning signs, White said. If men pull you in and then push you away, they could still be on the prowl.

Cohabitation Can Stall Commitment

"Women think it's the first step to getting him long term. A lot of guys view living together as just a test run. In fact, 40 percent of all those relationships don't ever make it beyond five years. So you really have to go in there knowing for him, it doesn't necessarily mean it's leading to marriage," White said.

She said to tell your boyfriend that you have expectations that this will turn into something permanent. If he is not ready for that, it's time to move on.

[raberyleti]

I've been married for 22 years and have children. Trust me, men are such a waste of time. Trust me, marriage is so not what it's touted to be. It's a waste of time and much more aggravation than it's worth. By the time you get adjusted to each other, he changes or you change and so you have to start all over anyway to try and figure each other out. Men think they are the golden prize because we allow them to think that. What they think they can do for us we can do for ourselves, including sex. And we can pleasure ourselves without having to roll over in the morning and see their damn faces. Idiots.

[fanman131]

I'm not convinced that marriage is a waste of time. Things don't always work out the way we intend for them to, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to get them to do so. Looking around I've seen thousands of married couples, and out of those some of them may be very content with their loved one. Not all men are so terrible.

Anyways, this article is months old, so you're unlikely to ever read this but if you do I would hope that maybe you've had better luck since, or if not maybe you could share more of your personal experience. Perhaps your stance on love and relationships with the opposite sex has changed over the course of 9-10 months.

[osbro]

Men use to committ / get married in order to get sex. Because the "modern day women" have become so "easy" sexually a guy can get sex anytime he wants and doesnt have to committ. Bottom line: If women werent so easy, more men would committ.

[jamesmartyr]

Yeah, it's not just men that don't want to be married. It's a great deal of women as well that do not want to be tied down to a man or a state. I'm glad that there are men and women thinking outside the norm. Marriage is just another form of social control. Men and women should not let another person or group of people tell them what they should do with their lives. Tell them to stay out of your business.

[pec1294]

What about why women won't committ. Who Blames George Clooney or Mathew McConaughey, If they are not 100% sure of who they are with why committ? Being a female, I am the same way, I guess I have not committed because I don't want to be tied down to a man who is not willing to let me do what I want,when I want. What is wrong with someone hanging with their freinds when they want without your partner there all of the time. I don't feel that in a relationship you have to be there with them 24/7. People need room to breath and live -- being able to breath and live without your partner as well as with your partner (I feel), is the key to a successful relationship.

[grizz1195200]

alot has changed in the world for us men we grew up in homes where the wives took care of their husbands an the men likewise for their wives. now there are so many divorces an so many guys wind up broke for years to come because of it in more than just one way. its not a very secure thing to get married these days . but if your looking for a man to get serious in my opinion these are things we look for besides the cake an eat it to.
1. honesty
2. someone we can trust
3. a simple hug when we come home
4. dont run up the credit card
5. talk to us like a freind instead of someone who is trying to get into your jeans.
6. wait for us to get to know you trust is earned not just there in a week.
7. when you say i love you it makes us weary do things instead to show us how much you love us .

[raberyleti]

Way too much work. Again, not worth it. But thanks anyway.