Mediation Resources For Caregivers

Help For Those Taking Care Of The Seriously Ill

(CBS)  According to a new CBS News poll, one in five Americans have had the responsibility of caring for an aging parent - by taking them into their homes or paying for their care. Many issues facing these caregivers are daunting, like resolving who will manage a parent's finances and who will care for a parent physically. For many families, professional mediators may help resolve some familial conflicts.


What Is Family Mediation?

According to Mediate.com, in mediation, all family members including the parents agree to the process, and agree to the inclusion of any other participants. They might choose to include the children's spouses, grandchildren, caregivers, and lawyers. The mediation process should provide a safe place for respectful, civilized conversation so differences can be discussed and agreements can be reached.

How Can I Find A Mediator?

Click here to find a mediator in your area. You can also Google "elder mediation," plus the name of your state or try www.eldercaremediators.com, a growing national elder mediation registry. The The Center for Social Gerontology also has information and materials on the uses of mediation with older persons, particularly in situations in which guardianship or caregiver assistance is involved.

Where Can I Find Elder Mediation Training?

The Montgomery County Mediation Center has training resources and can also be reached at [e-mail] or by phone at(610) 277-8909.

You can contact The Center for Social Gerontology by e-mail at [e-mail] or by phone at [phone].

To Learn More:

Elder Decisions provides private mediation for seniors and their families.

The MyMedicare section of the Medicare Web site allows recipients to check on claims, view eligibility and enrollment info in prescription drug plans and access online forms and publications.

The The Senior Resource Center for Medicare Information is a private organization designed inform people navigate the Medicare system.

The AARP's Medicare section provides additional resources including updated information on the Part D drug benefit and tips for saving money on prescription drugs.

The The National Family Caregivers Association is an advocacy group providing education, seminars and emotional support for the millions of Americans caring for loved ones.

The Web site for the Center For Healthcare Rights will soon be available.

The National Council on Aging has information for finding assistance for aging loved ones in their communities.

Children of Aging Parents has additional resources.

Click here for articles, tools, and FAQ's on financial issues facing the sandwich generation provided by The American Institute of Certified Public Accountants.

The Gerontological Society of America provides researchers, educators, practitioners, and policy makers with research.

[too-painfull]

where is the real story of suffering? it is here, behind closed doors. i am a caregiver, have been for most of my adult life for a very handicapped and worse every year parent. i am 51 now. i will have no retirement, not even social security. i am disabled but not entitled to any assistance or help of any kind. even if i could work and had a background and could even pay off my student loans, there is no time for it. when i ask for any help i am only abused. i have no civil rights, not even the right to complain that i have absolutely no medical care and that my teeth hurt and that my heart is broken. there are no laws to protect caregivers, yet we save the country hundreds of billions of dollars a year, enough to have all the bloody oil wars you want. my life is a living hell of 36 hour sleepless days and no pay and no respect and no rest. even my siblings are abusive and oblivious to my mission. social workers are uneducated and abusive of the constituion. doctors are without ethics. hospitals are more dangerous than the most drunken hiways in the nation. i will die early and penniless because i did the right thing, without one iota of help from one living soul. i live in pain. nobody cares, i cannot even leave this country that has treated me like so much garbage. america, your values are twisted and your priorities are warped. i am disabled and worthless maybe...but you are sick.

[lacaregiver]

Sometimes I feel like being a caregiver is a blessing and a curse. It's a blessings because you get this rare opportunity to be so truly connected to another human being, to take care (in every essence of the phrase "taking care") of another human spirit, to look into another person's eyes and see the depths of their humanity and yours, and I don't know what it would be like if I lived on this earth without having had this opportunity...it has made me a better person in so many ways...in finding strength, patience, integrity...in finding myself. It's a curse because I can't think of anything worse than watching someone you love die. It's a curse because you feel so much is being taken away from you...your security, your future, your freedom. I try to remind myself that I need to take care of myself, physically, emotionally and spiritually, otherwise, how can I hope to be strong enough to take care of the one I love? It all sounds very rational and logical, but where is the rational and logic when in comes to why someone who has so much to offer and so much to teach and so much to give to this world is being ravaged by disease? At the end of the day, I know God has a plan for all of us...I have to believe that, I do believe that, so God bless the caregivers of this world, and God give peace to the suffering.

[moyat-2009]

Hi- I am enjoying your series on caregivers very much. I wonder if you might want to mention a nation-wide resource funded by the U.S. Administration on Aging (which administers the first and only national caregiver support program for our nation's caregivers) which is the National Eldercare locator (toll free- 1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.gov/. This helps people looking for caregiver resources all over the country and provide them with information that they may need to care for their loved ones. Also the U.S. Administration on Aging (www.aoa.gov) has much information and a sep. website that will help family caregivers and professionals with up to date information on caregiving and other "aging" issues.

[luvmygranny]

It is very timeconsuming and can be stress full. My grandmother will be 100 years old and she can still go to the bathroom on her on and feed her self, she still has all of her falcuties. She remembers everything. Yet it is still like having another child you have to make sure they are eating, sleeping , and bathing and make sure they dont hurt themselves. I am am 34 year old single mother of two boys who are active in sports and I am still young and I cant just get up and go its hard. Thank God for my sons.

[scootman87]

I've been a caregiver for my father for two years and it has the hardest thing i have ever done seeing your father waste away mentally and physically slowly dyeing and the help that is offerd for a lower middle class to low income home is almost non exsitant i think its about time that caregivers finally are getting the national recognition that we've needed for so long. thank you very much

[too-painfull]

Yes, the emotional and physical price we pay can be intense beyond description at times. But we live in a society that does not care or understand that. They need to know the "real" costs. They coldly tell us we brought it on all by ourselves and chose this path, be it relatives or government agencies-the ones that are funded and there to help us that are really just shells that have no knowledge or help. Our society understands or cares about dollars. We have no big insurance building or lobbyists. If we strike for even one day we are the only ones to loose. you go on somehow knowing you are doing the right thing. After a time it is our only choice. Supposedly there are "programs" to help us, but it's not true; they pay rent and benefits for bereaucrats that do little while the people doing the work get the bill. I'd rather have a simple thank you, a pat on the back and a kind word instead of the lie that there is help; that's more painful than the all night vigils and the fear, bad hospitals and insurance companies and the rats making piles of cash on medicare. It is the biggest outrage of all that they tell us they care, but only waste more tax dollars on more do nothing programs while the drug companies and the insurance companies and the bereacracies build taller and taller towers...

[kellhug]

On June 20, 2006 my mother had a stroke.. She had several TIA%u2019s throughout her life but this time it was the big one. She was in the hospital for about a month then she went to a nursing home for rehab. She was there for about a month before returning home to dad. He cared for her the best he could. Her left side was weak and she is a large woman and neither of her knees have bent for years so it wasn%u2019t easy. Then on Sept. 15, 2006 Dad had a massive stroke. Dad went to a nursing home for rehab about a month after his stroke. His right side was affected. Mom was with us for about 3 weeks when she had another TIA and had to go to the nursing home where dad was. About a month later, right before Christmas, dad got to come home to us. He needs 24 hour care. My boyfriend, Ronn, takes care of dad while I'm at work. I have always been close to my dad. I get very little help or support from my 2 sisters. They have both worked in nursing homes before so I know they understand the care involved but that was their job. I work full time and then go home to again work full time. I%u2019m not complaining. I am the lucky one. I get to spend these last years with one of my favorite people in the world. They don%u2019t. I try to make dad's life as full as possible. Sometimes we feel like we are alone in this. Now I see we are not.