An Ode To Valentine's Day

Bob Schieffer Offers Advice To Men For The Year's Romantic Holiday

(CBS)  Weekly commentary by CBS Evening News chief Washington correspondent and Face the Nation host Bob Schieffer.

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There is a threat to your health, if you're a guy out there, and so we offer this little poem as a warning:

Valentine's Day is next Wednesday, I hear.
So write it down because I know this is true.
To forget Valentine is a felony crime
to every woman that I ever knew.

A good woman's love is the best thing there is,
but an old guy like me understands,
forget Valentine and she'll turn on a dime.
You'll have a loon astronaut on your hands.

Late getting home, lampshade for a hat,
they'll let it go once, maybe twice.
But no Valentine, hon? I suggest that you run.
That butcher knife is ready to slice.

On a hill far away where the grass is so green,
is the grave of a well-meaning guy.
Carved there on his stone that stands all alone
is a warning for all who pass by:

"Had I written it down, I wouldn't be here.
They wouldn't have needed this shrine.
Because I am the one, poor son of a gun:
The man who forgot Valentine."

I hope you'll take this to heart.

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E-mail Face the Nation.

[raritthaler]

"That butcher knife is ready to slice"? Shame on you for advocating violence. And don't spin it that it was just "tongue in cheek" or "kidding." You're just "kidding" yourself. Shame.

[petersemkiw]

Hello Mr.Schieffer! I've always respected and admired you as an excellent news journalist and fellow human being! And now a great poet as well! Thank you for the excellent health advice! Let's all try to stay healthy this St.Valentine's Day !!