More Women Saying "I Don't"

Analysis Finds 51% Of Women Were Single In 2005; Shift Partly Because More Women Work

(CBS)  Carrie and her "Sex And The City" gal pals wanted a husband, right? But they turned their backs on the bouquet.

Turns out, they're not alone, CBS News correspondent Kelly Wallace reports. For the first time, more women in America are unmarried than married. Women like 29-year-old Jessica Cohen of New York. "We don't need men anymore," she says. "I mean, we want men, we want someone to share everything with, but I don't think we need to rush."

According to a New York Times analysis of census results, 35 percent of women in the "Ozzie and Harriet" days of the 1950s were single. That number jumped to 49 percent in 2000 and to 51 percent in 2005.

Why the trend in saying "I don't?" Younger women are marrying later or just living with someone instead, while older women are living longer than their husbands and are choosing not to take another walk down the aisle.

"I've been through two marriages, and single is better for me," one woman explained.

Another reason: More women are working and supporting themselves.

"If they didn't find that guy that just clicked with them at a certain point in time, they didn't give up. They decided, 'I'll just do a little bit more of my career. I'll look a little longer,'" says William Frey, of the Brookings Institution.

And culturally, it's more acceptable to be single. Think of Angelina, living with Brad and the kids without a ring.

It's not just Hollywood stars. It's real women everywhere.

As one Dallas woman explains, "I'm single right now and I feel actually happy about it."

A Miami woman says the best part of being single is "you can flirt a little bit."

And in downtown Los Angeles, Jessica says, "I want to get married so I can have kids, make my Mom happy, my Dad too."

She'd rather not belong to the new majority.

[mem918]

I am a 31 year old, single, educated and independant woman. I don't feel the need to rush into a marriage and settle because I am getting older or as most people constantly remind me "your biological clock is ticking"! When I find the man I think I will know until then I am going to have fun and enjoy dating and meeting men!

[pizann0]

I just had to make a comment in regard to Ms. Jessica Cohen's interesting comment, "We don't need men anymore." Better not have the need to drive that Ford, or the need to use a light bulb (Edison), use your computer (Gates or Jobs), and so on.

[martin043]

I can certainly relate to these women's comments and attitude about being single.I am a 51 year old male that has been divorced since i984.I have dated my share of women opver the years but whether it's Ms right or Mr right I think doesn't exist because relationships are about compromise.Since I'm disabled and no longer on the dating scene I like my independence too.

[bmdbella]

If you want a myth-busting, consciousness-raising, totally unapologetic take on singlehood that is not narrated by "the very married Kelly Wallace" and that does not end with the conclusion that the single woman on the street would "rather not belong to the new majority," read SINGLED OUT: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. You can get it online or in the bookstores. Truth in advertising: I wrote it. But look at all the rave reviews on Amazon: only a few of them were put up to it by me! --Bella DePaulo

[trueprogress]

THE REAL REASON : THE ELITE, AMERICAN IDLE WOMEN
Once passing the golden 10 years of marriage with two kids, and the man's prospect for getting some type of illness before her, and with the dangling of getting 1/2 of the saved assets, and the law making the hubby work until age 64 or so, while she can claim no skills, sit back and get a monthly "paycheck" of over 50 %( with so called child suppport, for trips to Europe ) of what the poor shlub makes......in this "lets talk" era.... it is not surprising ..is it. No more boring talks about problems at work or financial issues, to listen to. No more picking up after the slob. More afternoons to yourself, spas, "mini vacations" with the tennis pro ? A few months of preplanning to stash some money, and a new house and car, then she is free at last. Free at last ! One hell of a paid vacation. Rich EX WIVES ! ( this is not about the hard working, heroic single moms and women of the middle class!) American Idles = You know who you are !!!
Now men, if you get angry over being betrayed, your ex will tag you as having an "anger problem." Cut them off and put them on the shelf, welcome to America !

[alphaa10-2009]

With Couric as anchor, I have noticed a profusion of puff pieces which should have run on The Morning Show (aka Women's Chat Hour) and stayed there.

This kind of fare has nothing to do with professional journalism. It has everything to do with People Magazine and its more devolved cousins. Kelly Wallace's professional competence to the contrary, such stories are of minimal import and interest unless it engages the larger audience and context.

The story focus is not impossible to work with. But with marriage, in particular, it is far more of interest to detail the real demographics about both sexes (ie. how many men and women are unmarried at the moment, and what does this mean for the future?) than to do a chatty nonentity, and try to call it "content". With age and more professional experience, perhaps we will see Wallace have another try at the same topic, fuller context.

Meanwhile, CBS chatmavens, more content, please. You, too, Katie.

[jscribe58]

Women are getting the attention of the media on this, but I'm sure just as many men are single today. I believe what people have lost is the ability to compromise, and without it marriages just aren't going to make it. The people who are getting married seem to be taking a lot longer to decide, and I think it has a lot to do with each individual deciding if they are willing to compromise enough for the marriage to work. Sadly, it seems that most decide they cannot.

[ncsu-scad]

As a happily single 31-year-old woman watching your story, I thought, %u201CGreat we are finally being accepted%u201D%u2014until the last 3 lines.

"And in downtown Los Angeles, Jessica says, "I want to get married so I can have kids, make my Mom happy, my Dad too.%u201D
"She'd rather not belong to the new majority."

If the only reason a person is going to get married is to have kids, especially if it's only for making your parents, happy grandparents. I'd have to question the marriages%u2019 chance survival.

The last line really made the whole story seem pointless. "She'd rather not belong to the new majority." The entire piece prior to this was on the reasoning why we CHOOSE to be in this majority, how we have the ability to be, and why we are happy with our choice.

I think one of the main reasons why we are taking our time making our choice to get married and finding the RIGHT man, not just any man%u2014is because we don%u2019t want to end up in another majority%u2014the one of divorcies.

[emtak1]

It doesn't ever seem to happen when your looking. But people look anyway and find the wrong person for themselves, instead of letting go and letting God. Stop thinking and worrying about it--God'll introduce you to--the toll booth operator, the meter reader, the pet sitter, the guy you just rear ended in the parking lot, the second cousin of your boss's ex-wife...

He's the third person in a marriage, and he always is. Can't do the thing life-long without his help. And, anyway, without him the whole concept of marriage--whats the point?

Just shack up, and have fun, and save yourself the stress, lol.

And I think, anybody who ignores having the big guy as a matchmaker in favor of their own solo judgement is just dopey, even from just a practical standpoint.

It would be like have a math homework question, and ignoring Spock's help from Star Trek. Just plain slow-in-the-head. Der.

[grumpas]

emtak1: "He's the third person in a marriage, and he always is. Can't do the thing life-long without his help. And, anyway, without him the whole concept of marriage--whats the point?" emtak1 stated.
I assume you are talking about God! Well, my husband is Atheist and so am I! We have been married for 49 years now going on 50! So, much for the Christian theory that no one can not do it without God for a partner! I don't see marriage as something that Christianity invented! I would get a divorce if it did! If people don't feel the need to get married that's their option! I don't see it as being your business of the President's business if they choose not to!

[trueprogress]

Talking about CBS content and PC. Here is a true brutal story that got swept under the rug. July 16, 2006, an 11 year old girl was Gang Raped by at least 10 college football players (race I believe not relevent to mention.) That 10 men, would decide that it was a good idea to rape an 11 year old, ten men !! What is wrong with the way society is bringing up men ? I have heard nothing about this story, from FRESNO, CA, since July. It was burried. Before we tackle the issue of marriage, I for one would like the issue of male brutality, homes without fathers, school "*** education " etc confronted. That this story was burried by CBS tells me, hey it happens , it's OK, lets move on ??? NO. WE want the facts. We are feminists and refuse to be treated like children !!! My research tells me none are in jail, and only 2 charged !!! Is this another athlete pass. Women we must unite !!!

[bluestardad]

She's a Very Freaky Girl

[bluestardad]

Time to Register for the Selective Service just like the Men do!

[bluestardad]

It will happen just a matter of Time!

[ncsu-scad]

Here is something I find very interesting%u2014this is a story about women and their choice to get married. The discussion almost immediately turns into one about, God, men and reproduction. Hmm%u2026

[Syndicate]

trueprogress: I'm familiar with that story. Theres more to it than an Inocant eleven year old being pulled of the side walk and raped. I suspect drugs were involved probably meth and she probably at least consented in the begining not that an eleven year old can consent. It was after all in Fresno Ca. And if you value your life or your car you stay out of Fresno Ca.

[exusmcsgt]

If more women are remaining unmarried, then more men are as well.

Having seen male friends "taken to the cleaners" by women who failed in their part of the bargain, it appears to me that possibly many men are refusing to accept the "I'll pay even if YOU FAIL ME" reality of divorce compensation.

I'm not saying that divorces are always the woman's fault by any means. But what does appear patently unfair to me is the husband having to pay alimony for non-performance by the wife.

And women wonder why men are often reticent to make a commitment.......

[danielleusa]

Singelringen - The Swedish Ring for Singles
has found a huge resonance with both single women and men. Singelringen wearers are proud to be single. They don't need a wedding contract to validate who they are. They enjoy their single life while being open to possiblities.

[danielleusa]

Singelringen - The Swedish Ring for Singles
has found a huge resonance with both single women and men. Singelringen wearers are proud to be single. They don't need a wedding contract to validate who they are. They enjoy their single life while being open to possiblities.

[trueprogress]

TO CBSCRASH: ET AL
An 11 year old girl !!! 10 football players ? Where is the media and social outrage ?
You can't blame Fresno.

[pizann0]

TRUEPROGRESS's comment: "They don't need a wedding contract to validate who they are."
Then they don't need the science and inventions that men have put to use throughout the centuries.
But then again TRUEPROGRESS's comment could also be understood as a legal wedding/marrige between members of the same ***, not opposite ***.
Good point, TRUEPROGRESS.

[kennethallan]

This study about 51% of women choosing to remain single is bogus.
If you read it closely you find that they include 15, 16 and 17 year old girls (who should not be included in this type of study) as well as women who are Widowed
All to reach their desired goal. (Can you say AGENDA?)
CBS should have scrutinized this study much more closely (unless they have an agenda themselves?)for accuracy.

[kennethallan]

This study about 51% of women choosing to remain single is bogus.
If you read it closely you find that they include 15, 16 and 17 year old girls (who should not be included in this type of study) as well as women who are Widowed
All to reach their desired goal. (Can you say AGENDA?)
CBS should have scrutinized this study much more closely (unless they have an agenda themselves?)for accuracy.

[jimcbr]

You know, it IS possible that it's NOT the women who are saying I don't, but the MEN. Not only is it the case that from a finacial point of view, marriage for a woman is a win-win, whereas for a man it's a complete disaster, with draconian laws like VAWA, a woman can put you in prison with a single phone call to the police -- who the hell needs that?

[ncsu-scad]

OK, guys just to clear something up%u2014when women say, %u201Cwe don%u2019t need men%u201D what we are really saying is that, %u201Cwe don%u2019t need to be in a relationship with a man%u201D. For a very long time in our society a women%u2019s personal and social identity was directly related to the man that she married. Sure we need men in this world! Women just don%u2019t always NEED to be in a relationship with one. And the men that we want to have relationships with are the ones that know how to be loving & respectful, as I assume men would also like these qualities in a women who they are in a relationship with.

Dataguy2: No where in the following postings did I read anyone saying that women were better then men. Nowhere in the story broadcasted on CBS was anyone saying that either. (trueprogress might disagree with me)

George2221: When a guy asks a girl out and she tells him that she%u2019s in a relationship and she%u2019s really not%u2014she%u2019s basically saying, very politely, %u201CI don%u2019t want to go out with you.%u201D
(Women are taught to keep a person%u2019s feelings in mind when they are letting them down)

Exusmcsgt: Marriage is a sacred vow, NOT a bargain. For every man who is %u201Ctaking to the cleaners%u201D by a women there are just as many women whose husband%u2019s cheated on them. (oh but wait%u2014that was probably her fault, it was probably her non-performance as a wife that led him to do it)

[jimcbr]

ncsu-scad, Trying to understand what women really need by listening to what they say is like trying to understand the genocide in Cambodia by listening to communist propaganda. So you'll forgive me if I don't believe you for a second when you say you don't need men. If you really didn't need men, you wouldn't be passing laws like IMBRA that prevent men from associating with you by being with foreign women.

[ncsu-scad]

jimp18: First, I%u2019ll thank you for bringing some intellect to this message board. Second, I%u2019ll forgive you. But what I said is%u2026 %u201CSure we need men! Women just don%u2019t ALWAYS feel the need (or want) to be in a relationship with a man%u2026 and I%u2019m sure there are plenty of men who feel the same way about being in a relationship with women (they are called bachelors). For a very long time men have had the option of being a proclaimed bachelor and society wouldn%u2019t really question it. It was totally o.k. for a guy to say %u201CI%u2019m going to go to finish college, get a job an live the bachelor lifestyle for a little while%u2026%u201D Why is it such an issue for women to say %u201CI%u2019m going to finish school, get a job, and live the bachelorette lifestyle for a little while.%u201D?

[ncsu-scad]

jimp18: To clarify, when I say %u201CSure we need men!%u201D. I guess I%u2019m responding to the comment by pazann0 on page 3.

[jimcbr]

OK, women may not NEED men, but I've never met a 30-something single woman that didn't WANT to get married, if the right guy came along. I've also never met a 40-something single woman that didn't want to get married if ANY guy came along.

[beachgremlin]

The Marital Status table on the Census Bureau Factfinder website (factfinder.census.gov) reports the following for year 2005 census data:
51% of females 15 years and older are now married (except separated);
9.4% of females 15 years and older are widowed;
11.5% of females 15 years and older are divorced;
2.6% of females 15 years and older are separated; and
25.5% of females 15 years and older are never married.
Does anyone know the source or authority for the reported 51% not married?

[ncsu-scad]

jimp18: I agree with your statement, I myself am in the category of 30-something women that doesn%u2019t feel the overpowering need to get married, but would want to if the right guy came along. (We could then have a very enticing conversation about wants vs. needs).

But in response to your comment about 40+ women who want to just marry any guy%u2026 I think I%u2019ve meet more 40 married women AND men who have a tendency, when speaking of their spouse, can%u2019t do so without rolling their eyes and letting out an %u201Coh jeez!%u201D type of groan. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

[juliemickeys]

hi,

for more details about this login to <a href="http://www.talkingdating.com">Online Dating</a>

[juliemickeys]

hi,

for more details regarding this login to http://www.talkingdating.com

[juliemickeys]

hi


for more details login to http://www.talkingdating.com


regards,
Julie
www.talkingdating.com

[juliemickeys]

hi,

for more details logon to http://www.talkingdating.com


------------------------------------------
Julie
www.talkingdating.com

[charliemadison]

I think it is correct. As men also thinking these days to remain single it should be a welcome thing from women. But this kind of thinking is somewhat radical which affects the future of society. If everyone remain single and no reproduction then the society vanishes when they die. They should rethink. So all I suggest is that women and men should not remain singles. They should go for a date. For more information on dating please check the following link.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie Madison
<a href="http://www.talkingdating.com">Talking Dating</a>

[juliemickeys]

hi,

for more details about this login to http://www.talkingdating.com

[charliemadison]

I think it is correct. As men also thinking these days to remain single it should be a welcome thing from women. But this kind of thinking is somewhat radical which affects the future of society. If everyone remain single and no reproduction then the society vanishes when they die. They should rethink. So all I suggest is that women and men should not remain singles. They should go for a date. For more information on dating please check the following link.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie Madison
http://www.talkingdating.com