Lost And Found

Lesley Stahl On Efforts To Place Foster Children Back With Their Families

(CBS)  Family Finding tends to deal with the most troubled kids in the foster care system. Often it’s the ones prone to violence like Beverly, age 15, who’s had no one for the last eight years, except for her brother Melvin, who lives at a group home nearby.

Beverly admits she has been very angry and acting out. "One of the foster homes that I was in I trashed the place. I threw stuff at them, I threw glass at them, I threw whatever I could find at them," she recalls.

What was the rage about?

"Well, I felt, like, nobody wanted me, or whatever," she says.

What about her brother Melvin?

"I always had problems in school. And they wasn’t like academically or nothing. It was just like always fighting. I’d fight anybody. I didn’t care who it was," he says.

Beverly never stopped yearning for her family. When Family Finding came into her life, she thought they were taking too long. So she decided on an end run. In Feb. 2006, she just got up and ran away and on her own came to Watts and found her father, Melvin Sr.

It took him four months to pay his daughter a visit at "Five Acres." Beverly was ecstatic.

It was also the first time Melvin Sr. had seen his son in eight years; that reunion was far more restrained.

Through Family Finding, Melvin Jr. and Beverly learned that their mother died of drug abuse, and that since he lost his parental rights after being charged with neglect, Melvin Sr. has struggled with alcohol, has been in and out of work, and has 10 other children.

"Melvin Sr., your children have been raised in foster care. They’ve been shuttled around from house to house. Eight for Beverly, four for Melvin Jr. Is there anything you want to say to them?" Stahl asks.

"I’m sorry I wasn’t there for y’all like I should have been. But now that I’m getting back on my feet, I will be here for y’all always. And I love y’all dearly," he says.

Asked if he has ever said that to them before, Melvin Sr. says, "I always tell my kids I love them."

But he acknowledges he has never apologized to his children in this way.

He has said he would like his children to come and live with him. He thinks that is a real possibility and that it is realistic.

Both Beverly and Melvin say they realize, given their father’s problems, that they can’t move home with him.

Melvin tells Stahl meeting his father still doesn’t feel like a real relationship. Beverly meanwhile says she is developing a relationship with her dad.

Melvin acknowledges Melvin Sr. is trying but that he is being defiant as his father is making advances. "I’m not mad at him. It’s just, I don’t want … I don’t know. We’ll see over time," he tells Stahl.

But that’s not the end of the story. As part of Family Finding, uncle Frank, their mom’s brother, comes to visit them every week. Raised in foster care himself, uncle Frank knows pretty much what they’re going through.

"Being in the system, and you don’t have nobody visiting you or, or showing that they care about you. It’s hard. I’m just trying to keep everybody together because this is all that I have right now," he explains.

Beverly's therapist tells Stahl that she is happier: there are no more bouts of rage, she is more involved in school activities and dreams about going to Harvard.

Melvin, a senior in high school, also wants to go to college, hopefully on a basketball scholarship.

And in the meantime, uncle Frank says even though he can’t take the kids now, when they leave the system at 18, his door will be open.

"So, when Melvin goes to college, when he gets his basketball scholarship, and he comes home for Christmas," Stahl asks Frank.

"He’s always welcome. He’s welcome," the uncle replies.

"It’s just this basic need that human beings have to know the truth about what’s happened to their families," says Kevin Campbell. "That’s important, that’s essential. How do you grow up without those things? Well, we know how they do it. We can look at young people in the foster care system and their struggle and see what happens when you don’t have those things."

"It breaks them. And they struggle with it. And we can do something about it," he adds.

As for Samara, there are still lots of problems, including a lot of adjusting. She isn’t close to being healed.

But in August, she went to court and asked a judge to put her back where she says she belongs. She asked the judge to reinstatement of parental rights, paving the return to her mother Lakesha.

---

It has been nearly a year since Samara asked the judge to send her home, but that still hasn't happened. Samara's had trouble in her group home and is now in a foster home. Her mother Lakesha, now unemployed, is still looking for a larger apartment so Samara can move in.

[hogfan200731]

I know what these kids are going through. My kids were kidnapped by the system. I live in Arkansas. I am fighting the system to get them back home with me.

I feel sorry for these kids. My kids are wanting to come home but the state will not listen for their cry to come home. They are being ignored. My dad and step-mom have my kids as of now. They want to terminate my rights for no reason.

[wmtower]

There is a Rally in Washington D.C. on August 18th 2007 at the Lincoln Memorial starting at 9:00 a.m. Pleas visit the web site dcrally2007.com to read about this.
This story and many others are the reason this rally is going to take place. Everyone is invited to attend.

Bill Tower
Pres. AFRA

[skglick]

Our dtr is suffering from anxiety, separation issues, depression, attachment issues, and our son was sexually molested by another foster child!! They were NEVER abused in our home, but the social workers created unimaginable horrors in our home in a dependency order, and the local judges rubber-stamp anything CPS brings in front of them. Nobody wants to be the judge responsible for sending a child back to an abusive home. It would be way too easy to interview neighbors, pastors, teachers and the family physician, wouldn't it? These agencies may start with young, idealistic social workers, but they soon become swept up in this evil scourge on families. They lie, terrify the children, pursue parents, try to split up marriages and families, and smile all the way to the bank - they do not give a *** about children!

[skglick]

Vic, you have fallen into their trap of thinking. My husband & I are college grads, earn a very good combined income, yet thanks to a fraudulant anonymous call, our adopted children were taken away. Thanks to Bill Clinton's Safe Families Act, the Federal Gov. is pouring THOUSANDS of dollars into the States for their county agencies. The social workers love to find white middle-class families they can fabricate all kinds of lies about. This gets the kids "into the system" and $$ into their budgets. The workers then get promoted within the agency for drawing in the $$. Not only do they receive gov. funds, but then they have the Domestic Relations office attach the parents' wages. They think we are so worried about our reputations that we will just cave; the whole world thinks that "good parents" don't lose their children, but THEY DO!!! You don't have to ever lay a hand on your child, and you can have the children abducted on the whim of CPS. Our local agency has an annual budget of $33M for a town with a population of 60K and county of 500K residents. Staggering, huh?

[rgartner2]

As a father who had the government appropriate the lives of my two daughters(each by a different woman) I can tell the reader the government has no moral conscience in the face of its own practise of intrusion, aggravation, and destruction of the lives of children and their loving parents.

Government systematically turns one parent into a visitor to his child, at best, given that the mother does not subvert paltry remaining relationship. I use gender here because 85% of half the nations kids reside with their mothers.

States, sucking up to federal incentives (monetary kickbacks)via the 1996 Welfare Reform Act, the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act, (PRWORA) have every reason to turn one parent into a billfold.

Government has NO program to see to it that a father may exercise even this paltry right in the face of adversity by the custodial parent.

So then, by extrapolation, how on earth could we expect less than this story of oceans of children with no place to go??????

Americans are not stupid. These problems are not new. Its just that the politicians have ceased doing their work in favor of feeding from a money trough. Its not unique to Clintons, as it was one of them that brought this Act to America. Hillary has expressed no understanding. Neither has Obama with his Responsible Fatherhood Act legislation. Perhaps Kucinich is on a right path with his idea of a Department of Peace, since peace begins with me... and him!

[shirly1]

Good for you ninabites!
Leslie you did a poor job. First of all the smile you had on your face during this interview was in poor taste!!!
You did not need to force this girl allready feeling bad to answer the questions. Stupid questions by the way!
There is a much better way to speak with children. She was hurting allready. By the look on her face while you had that smile on your face was very sad. You should think about it. Maybe watch it yourself!

[vicslason]

This piece brings to light the importance of the family. And rather than blaming the welfare or Foster Care System(s), the fault needs to rest squarely on the shoulders of those individuals who fail to become responsible for the children they produce. And BRAVO to the agency that is seeking out responsible/stable adults family members who can come to the assistance of displaced youngsters.
It also seems to show that taking children away from their parents/mother hurts the child MUCH more than it hurts the parent. Of course we don't know the damage avoided by removing the child. It's unfortunate that there is no way to force fathers &/or mothers to accept responsibilities. Perhaps creating finacial incentives that promote and encourage marriage stability, healthy family life and lifestyle.

I'd be willing to bet that a majority of the people involved in these situataions are of lower economic status. Does poverty breed abuse? Or is it that abusive lifestyles lead to poverty? (and more abuse)
Irresponsibility is abuse; be it physical, spiritual, emontional or financial.
And God bless those family members who step in and help ('cause it's really not the government's job.)

[interestedci]

The main problem I see is that too many women claim to be victims when they aren't. I also blame irresponsible men. Men and women share the blame equally. Our society is at fault by excusing out of wedlock sexual behavior. A girl who wants to reunite with a mother who has had three more children and is still not married isn't wise. Bad as foster care is, following her mother's example would be a road to disaster. The man with 10 children was also a poor example. Foster care might not be the best answer for these children, but putting them back with their families to follow the models they see there isn't the answer either.

Single motherhood is not a virtue, nor is it an accident. It happens, more often than not, with deliberate behavior. People know the risks, but they just go ahead and do it, and they do it repeatedly as the single mother of three proved. It is inexcusable. It's sickening to observe this cultural breakdown, knowing I didn't cause it. I know the cause. The cause is the humanist philosophy of public schools that focuses on the immediate,the pragmatic, and what seems to be right for the moment, regardless of the long term consequences. We are raisng a nation of fools.

[letitia123-2009]

This story brought tears to my eye. I'm a single mother who gave birth to 7-children (2-sets of twins are included; never,ever my children has been neglected of any source. I can't believe how large Samara's family is; you would think that someone in her family would bring her into their home. To see a welcome party, and playing the song "We are Family" I thought that Samara would be taken in. This large family I beleive don't care about this little girl who is reaching out for love. I would like to be interview about this story, and have this air on your show. I would like to give my version on how this should be handled. Also, I would love to reach out to Samara and give her lots of love, because right now she is hurting badly. Please get back to me by e-mail or phone ASAP, because I'm hurting as well. Thanks so much, Letitia

[spdcadoption]

Some resources for those who are or were in foster care:

Foster Club has a section of their website for youth and young adults: http://www.fyi3.com/fyi3/index.cfm

And the Foster Care Alumni of America has some regional chapters. Info at their website: http://www.fostercarealumni.org/

[rtlittlejohn]

My children were taken away from my ex when they were 11 and 9 years old and put into foster care. The rights of my ex and me were then terminated so that they could be kept in foster care until they were adopted. Due to the fact that they were teenagers, the possiblity that they would not be adopted became evident. The McCracken County office of the Kentucky Cabinet for Families and Children convinced the foster parents to adopt my children so that they could show the court that the children were adoptable, as they had claimed in court.

It is no surprise that there are children waiting to be adopted out of foster care when the system knows full well that no one wants to adopt teenagers. My heart goes out to them. My heart goes out to their true and natural parents who unjustly lost them for no cause at all - see http://liftingtheveil.org for proof.

[margs_21]

Let me just say that there was one part of this program that completely enraged me. I could not believe that the father of the two children had 10 CHILDREN altogether! It is absolutely ludacris that in the age of unlimited birth control, someone can be careless enough to have that many offspring that he or she is unable to support. These children are created and then pushed out into the world (or into the "system") where they are unable to form a real connection or attachment with anyone! I am a social worker and I see this every day, but it really hit me hard to see these children so abandoned and so alone and to find out that this man had eight other children who might feel exactly the same?! C'mon now people, wise up. Children need FAMILIES and if you don't think you're up to the task, please be smart enough to use protection so that you're not creating a human being who you are unable to care for. It is heartbreaking to see toddlers, children, adolescents, and teenagers who are acting out merely because they lack attention and affection and a real attachment and who later turn to the streets because it is possibly the first place they have felt accepted and connected to others. Let's break this cycle by being mindful enough to practice safe *** and only have children when you're good and ready to actually care for them...not just financially but mentally and emotionally as well.

[rmagana911]

HI I was in foster care most of my life i think i was 6 im not even sure how old I was ,my dad died when I was 5 again I think.then my mother basicly became an addict, so the child services took me my brother and sister and put us in the system ,now that im 34 I think that is probally best thing that happend to us I guess,well basiclly I think finding this kids families is a good thing, I Wish they would of had something like that when I was in the system,I always wished I knew my dads family I know not one person from my dads and Ive tried to find them never sucessful, I really dont know much about them well if you could help me in any way I would appericate it much cbs can you email me and let me know if you could help me I would be grateful.Racquel M.

[elanlee]

My son is now one year old. I was his sole caregiver for the first five months of his life. I am 70 years old and quite experienced in the raising of children; I was a foster parent for 10 years in the State of Idaho.
My son never had even an accidental bruise while in my care. However, since DHS took him over a minor insignificant isolated unanticipatable accident I have photographed bruises on him three different occasions. He has also lost his natural huge smile. This is how it begins...if I am unable to get him returned he will be another statistic. The DHS worker went so far as to put fake bandages with splints on my son and falsify information given to the physicians. The complete chain of events is on my website dhsdogs.com. Easiest way to access it is to type Mikah McCray in Google. The damage DHS has done to my son is immeasurable. At five months he could articulate a few words; now, nothing. My next court date is July 17 before an extremely prejudiced judge with no evidence that I have ever been anything but an excelent parent to my only son. Please read my site. Respectfully, J.S.

[ninabates]

A CRY FOR HELP!
The story called Family Findings on 60 minutes tonight was an answer to prayer and was an eye opener to me. I can relate to the stories that were told on the program. I can feel the pain that tne children and their parents were feeling. I lost my two children to the system in California. They adopted one of my children out and my other daughter has been lost in the system. I would like it very much if you would give me a chance to tell my story. I know 9 years ago i could not be the mother God wanted me to be. I have changed my life aroung. I broke the bondage of addiction to drugs and I have learned the tools I need to be a productive member of society. I have tried for many years for some one to hear my story and the doors keep closing in my face.Will you be the one to listen to me? PLEASE!! Thank you for taking the time to read my comments and I hope to hear from you soon.

[stopcps]

Leslie Stahl You are coward of the highest order. Rather than discuss the reason for the lonelinest people in the world you focus only on the suffering.

You need to do a story on why these children are in the system. When there was suitable family all along usually their own parents to raise them. Instead CPS DFS is turning out 100s of thouands of mentally and severely emotionally disturbed children. You also lost sight of the 100s of thousands of suffering parents who children were stolen by a system that rewards states and counties with cold hard large cash stipends for removing children and then rewards them again for placing these children with unrelated strangers. Those that are left behind are discarded like trash as long as the federal government is sending Federal money to the states and counties for the removal. These children are dumped out of the system and are left with no one. They are further victimized by pimps and predators after they have been victimized by our government.

The system creates the most disturbed irresponsible adults in our society. They are allowed to drop out of school and are paid to clean up after their own spills. These children grow dependent with an entitlement type character. Where they believe money falls from the skies and no one to over see it.

[nanawells]

NANAWELLS AGAIN I TO WOULD LOVE LESLIE STAHL OR FAMILY FINDINGS TO CONTACT ME. I AM POSITIVE IF YOU SAT DOWN WITH ME AND HEARD OUR STORY FROM BEGINNING TO END ( ACTUALLY THERE IS NOT END YET WE NEVER FORGET) YOU WOULD HAVE A WONDERFUL STORY LINE AND MAYBE WE COULD SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL... WE NEED SOMEONE TO HEAR OUR STORY AND MAYBE GET THE GRANDCHILDREN HOME. YES THEY HAVE BEEN ADOPTED AND IT WILL MAKE THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS SAD, BUT WHAT ABOUT THEIR BIRTH FAMILY WE CRY DAILY WANTING THEM HOME. IT IS HORRIBLE THEY WERE NOT EVEN ADOPTED TOGETHER AND WE ALL LIVE WITHIN 20 MILES OR LESS OF EACH OTHER. PLEASE CONTACT US HEAR OUR STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stopcps]

Leslie Stahl You are coward of the highest order. Rather than discuss the reason for the lonelinest people in the world you focus only on the suffering.

You need to do a story on why these children are in the system. When there was suitable family all along usually their own parents to raise them. Instead CPS DFS is turning out 100s of thouands of mentally and severely emotionally disturbed children. You also lost sight of the 100s of thousands of suffering parents who children were stolen by a system that rewards states and counties with cold hard large cash stipends for removing children and then rewards them again for placing these children with unrelated strangers. Those that are left behind are discarded like trash as long as the federal government is sending Federal money to the states and counties for the removal. These children are dumped out of the system and are left with no one. They are further victimized by pimps and predators after they have been victimized by our government.

The system creates the most disturbed irresponsible adults in our society. They are allowed to drop out of school and are paid to clean up after their own spills. These children grow dependent with an entitlement type character. Where they believe money falls from the skies and no one to over see it.

[stopcps]

Leslie Stahl You are coward of the highest order. Rather than discuss the reason for the lonelinest people in the world you focus only on the suffering.

You need to do a story on why these children are in the system. When there was suitable family all along usually their own parents to raise them. Instead CPS DFS is turning out 100s of thouands of mentally and severely emotionally disturbed children. You also lost sight of the 100s of thousands of suffering parents who children were stolen by a system that rewards states and counties with cold hard large cash stipends for removing children and then rewards them again for placing these children with unrelated strangers. Those that are left behind are discarded like trash as long as the federal government is sending Federal money to the states and counties for the removal. These children are dumped out of the system and are left with no one. They are further victimized by pimps and predators after they have been victimized by our government.

The system creates the most disturbed irresponsible adults in our society. They are allowed to drop out of school and are paid to clean up after their own spills. These children grow dependent with an entitlement type character. Where they believe money falls from the skies and no one to over see it.

[nanawells]

CAMILEESMOM!!! MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO US WITH OUR GRANDCHILDREN. THE SOCIAL SERVICES MADE UP SO MANY LIES ABOUT US AND PRESENTED THEM TO THE JUDGES. WE DID ALL THE SERVICES THEY ASKED US TO DO AND STILL DID NOT GET THE GRANDCHILDREN. OUR SON AND HIS GIRLFRIEND DID ALL THEIR LIST OF REQUIREMENTS AND STILL LOST THEIR PARENTAL RIGHTS. THE SYSTEM IS VERY CORRUPT WITH FAMILIES WHO HAVE NO MEANS TO GET LEGAL HELP AND HAVE TO RELY ON STATE APPOINTED LAWYERS. I HOPE YOU GET YOUR NIECE I WILL PRAY EVERY DAY FOR YOU... GOOD LUCK DON'T GIVE UP.