Andy On 'Interesting Junk'

Andy Rooney On The Stuff People Send Him

(CBS)  This segment was originally broadcast on Dec. 10, 2006.

The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.

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I don't mean to be unfriendly but, I don't know what possesses people to send me things but I get a ton of stuff in the mail. Most of it is junk but some of it is interesting junk.

I made the mistake of saying that about the only medicine I take is an occasional Tum and someone sent me a lifetime supply of Tums. I've estimated that there are about 2,200 Tums. If I take two a week, these would last me 1,100 weeks which is about 21 years.

I also got a "professional quality kazoo." I wouldn't want an amateur-quality kazoo.

I had one when I was a kid but a kazoo must be near the bottom of the list of musical instruments, below the harmonica certainly and just above the Jew's harp.

I get a lot of books from people looking for a plug. I've never plugged a book yet but that doesn't seem to discourage anyone.

A man named Bruce Bowman sent me a book he wrote called "Exposed." I guess it's a good book but he actually sent me a box with 20 copies of it. What am I supposed to do with 20 copies of a book like this that I don't want one of?

He probably chose the best-looking picture of himself for the cover - he isn't really this good-looking.

People are always painting pictures of me. If I thought I looked like most of them, I'd get into some other line of work where my face didn't show.

This was sort of a surprise: an irreligious T-shirt. Sent by an atheist I suppose. I don't know how many atheists there are in this country.

I also got a piece of gold sent to me by a man in Ft. Walton Beach, Fla. It's one ounce of 14 karat gold. I'm not sure what a karat is but whatever it is I have to send this back or I'd get fired.

I think I know what I'm going to do with all these things people have sent me. I'm going to get them all together - put them in a big box, tie a ribbon around it - and throw the box away.

[zeppikc]

Dear Andy,
I see ur point alot of that stuff you just didnt need and if realy want it then you would of bout it right? So in that case if you dont like the stuff people send you can you send me something, like a new Jimmy Page Signature Les Paul Guitar Please!!!! send to 829 California Sett. California Sett. NB, Canada

[michellem99-2009]

Dear Andy.
I am s hillbilly. Yer Mum forgot to teach yer manners. So yer can't use it then quietly give it those who could.
I am leally blind and I think yer need to thank yer viewers there kindness. So I feel yer ungrateful. Thibk of others. Good nite. hOPE A BETTER STORY NEXT WK.

[gorfalamu]

I am not surprised that Mr. Rooney, relegated for decades now to the status of "Least of the Curmudgeons," would thusly treat his fans and their offerings. Mr. Rooney's schtick is to stick it to someone, anyone, even those who loyally support his irrelevant ramblings. It sells air time. That's his job and he does it to the best of his obviously limited ability.

But his disparaging comment about harmonicas is a disgraceful insult to millions of harmonica players worldwide and a cheap shot at an inexpensive but highly complex and versatile musical instrument that is anything but a toy. It takes the same amount of skill and dedication to play professional quality harmonica as it does any other musical instrument.

But Mr. Rooney wouldn't know that. He's been toodling his own kazoo for so long now it all sounds the same to him. If he could report news as well as I play harmonica, this post wouldn't be necessary.

Cheers,
Gorfalamu

[gorfalamu]

I am not surprised that Mr. Rooney, relegated for decades now to the status of "Least of the Curmudgeons," would thusly treat his fans and their offerings. Mr. Rooney's schtick is to stick it to someone, anyone, even those who loyally support his irrelevant ramblings. It sells air time. That's his job and he does it to the best of his obviously limited ability.

But his disparaging comment about harmonicas is a disgraceful insult to millions of harmonica players worldwide and a cheap shot at an inexpensive but highly complex and versatile musical instrument that is anything but a toy. It takes the same amount of skill and dedication to play professional quality harmonica as it does any other musical instrument.

But Mr. Rooney wouldn't know that. He's been toodling his own kazoo for so long now it all sounds the same to him. If he could report news as well as I play harmonica, this post wouldn't be necessary.

Cheers,
Gorfalamu

[drputt45]

Andy, you obviously are not sticking the "stuff" you receive where everyone intends for you to stick it. If you did, we wouldn't have to hear about it.

[donnie900]

I'll send ya brownies, Andy. Just don't mind de corn in it..

[grammawhamma]

Maybe his next gift will be a bag of dog poop...nice and ripe. Personally I would not waste a dime sending any celebrity anything. Andy was an ungrateful grumpy old man this week but I'll still watch him just to see what he comes up with next.

[jimfinster]

curmudgeon

[wolfn2007]

Andy is the Don Rickles of News Commentary, he always speaks his mind and doesn%u2019t hold anything back. Has Andy ever been none insulting ..LOL If you%u2019re a fan of Andy then you understand, that is who he is.

Andy your too funny and always make my day!

[terribayless-2009]

The problem isn't throwing away the stuff - it's telling everyone he is throwing it all away. I do have to clean house once in a while, but I appreciate the fact that I am given gifts. This article does not make him sound like he appreciates his fans for their thoughtfulness at all!

[straightmate]

Andy, I know you could sorta goof the address alittle on that chunk of gold....

[donnie900]

If anybody'd sent me that stuff I'd throw it out. Its kinda like a stranger sending you cookies or something.

[missbetty23]

The man is kidding! Andy said that he has yet to plug a book that someone has sent him...hello... he then goes on to do just that by mentioning Bruce Bowman's book "Exposed"! Of course nothing good ever comes free and Andy has fun teasing Mr. Bowman with a this guy can't possibly look as good as his book jacket jab.
In my opinion this was not one of Andy's best columns but remember that much of our world's best humor is often written -between- the lines. You may have to read/listen/watch it a bit more carefully to find the funny but it will reward you by keeping you laughing later longer.

[papagorilla-2009]

Greetings Andy Rooney,
In these hard times of war, protest, high gas prices and overworked, underpaid masses, a gesture of kindness is something to be treasure and appreciated. You are looked upon by many of your viewers as a man to admire. Viewers from all walks of life stop for a few minutes to listen to your words of wisdom. These viewers insure your job and the opportunity for to express your opinion publicly. You should say "Thank you".

Your viewers insure your livelihood and additionally show their admiration for you by sending you gifts from Tums to books to paintings among many other items. You are loved and respected in a time when so many are angry, frustrated or simply live on the "It's all about me" factor. Instead of insulting everyone by stating that their gifts are a nuisance to you and your plans are to throw them in the trash, you should publicly thank your viewers for their generosity in showing that they care about you.

As to the gifts that annoy you so much... well, graciously donate them to libraries, schools, charities and to rest homes , to name a few places. You most likely lost many admires over your last telecast as you heartlessly bashed the gifts you received in such a appalling manner. Shame on you for being so cold-hearted and down right mean. I think you should apologize to the public for your crude insults.

Where would you be without your audience?

[tysmomangie]

I am thoroughly disgusted with Andy Rooney. I'm not a big 60 minutes viewer but stumbled onto the Moken people and tsunami and was intrigued. I really enjoyed the program after it was over Andy did his spiel... About how people send him stuff and he is just going to throw it in the trash. I'm sorry but if you don't like things just send them to the good will or something... But you don't go on national TV and tell people, that send him something out of the goodness of their hearts (I am not one of these people by the way), that you are just going to trash what they sent you... WHAT A JERK. I can't believe that the producers of the show actually aired this. Like I said... I'm not a big 60 minutes watcher and after his spiel I guarantee that I will not become one either.

Signed,
Thoroughly discussed with Andy Rooney... WHAT A JERK!!!

[whitlow552]

I'm sorry Andy, do you have too many adoring fans??

Dear CBS News,
Put Andy in a big box, tie a ribbon around it and throw it away!

[dougquaid1]

Watching this segment, I couldn't help but think what an ungrateful disrespectful bleep . Andy Rooney might as well have spat in his own fan's faces with this one, not to mention I lost all respect for him after this segment (not that that matters to someone who basically steps on the very toes of his own fanbase). First of all, the answer to when you get something from someone that you have no use for is to try to pass it on to someone who can use it, ever hear of the Goodwill? or of donations to charity, Andy? Maybe you have been stuck in that studio for too long. If someone sends me something out of appreciation for my work or some other reason out of the kindness of their heart, I cherish it at best or give it to someone who can use it at least, throwing things away is not the answer, and telling the very people who sent you gifts out of respect that you think their gifts are trash, to be put in a big box and thrown out is definitely uncalled for. A painting of you is not trash, a case of tums is not trash, someone's book, no matter how uninteresting, is not trash, a piece of gold is not trash.
Maybe it's time to learn about gratitude, Mr. Rooney,
don't expect any gifts in the future, unless like a previous poster stated, it's a lump of coal, because that is all you deserve.

[smilie175]

Dear Andy,
Is there a way that CBS could sell the gifts that have been sent to you. Then the proceeds could be donated to a charity? Thank you Love the show. Kimberly

[carsen3]

Mr. Rooney, please do me and all of your viewers a huge favor and file your fingernails down at least an inch. Also while your at it go hogg wild and trim those eyebrows, they dont have to be your calling card, people know you by your bigoted and ignorant views against women and women sports announcers.
Yours Truly,
Carsen B

[longlegs5784]

Mr. Rooney. I would love to have the stuff you do not want. I love to read. I know people that could use what I do not want. I"am not able to work, so I take what any body will give me.You can e-mail me at [e-mail], Thank you and have a great week.