Andy On 'Interesting Junk'

(CBS)  This segment was originally broadcast on Dec. 10, 2006.

The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.

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I don't mean to be unfriendly but, I don't know what possesses people to send me things but I get a ton of stuff in the mail. Most of it is junk but some of it is interesting junk.

I made the mistake of saying that about the only medicine I take is an occasional Tum and someone sent me a lifetime supply of Tums. I've estimated that there are about 2,200 Tums. If I take two a week, these would last me 1,100 weeks which is about 21 years.

I also got a "professional quality kazoo." I wouldn't want an amateur-quality kazoo.

I had one when I was a kid but a kazoo must be near the bottom of the list of musical instruments, below the harmonica certainly and just above the Jew's harp.

I get a lot of books from people looking for a plug. I've never plugged a book yet but that doesn't seem to discourage anyone.

A man named Bruce Bowman sent me a book he wrote called "Exposed." I guess it's a good book but he actually sent me a box with 20 copies of it. What am I supposed to do with 20 copies of a book like this that I don't want one of?

He probably chose the best-looking picture of himself for the cover - he isn't really this good-looking.

People are always painting pictures of me. If I thought I looked like most of them, I'd get into some other line of work where my face didn't show.

This was sort of a surprise: an irreligious T-shirt. Sent by an atheist I suppose. I don't know how many atheists there are in this country.

I also got a piece of gold sent to me by a man in Ft. Walton Beach, Fla. It's one ounce of 14 karat gold. I'm not sure what a karat is but whatever it is I have to send this back or I'd get fired.

I think I know what I'm going to do with all these things people have sent me. I'm going to get them all together - put them in a big box, tie a ribbon around it - and throw the box away.
Written by Andy Rooney

[zeppikc]

Dear Andy,
I see ur point alot of that stuff you just didnt need and if realy want it then you would of bout it right? So in that case if you dont like the stuff people send you can you send me something, like a new Jimmy Page Signature Les Paul Guitar Please!!!! send to 829 California Sett. California Sett. NB, Canada

[michellem99-2009]

Dear Andy.
I am s hillbilly. Yer Mum forgot to teach yer manners. So yer can't use it then quietly give it those who could.
I am leally blind and I think yer need to thank yer viewers there kindness. So I feel yer ungrateful. Thibk of others. Good nite. hOPE A BETTER STORY NEXT WK.

[gorfalamu]

I am not surprised that Mr. Rooney, relegated for decades now to the status of "Least of the Curmudgeons," would thusly treat his fans and their offerings. Mr. Rooney's schtick is to stick it to someone, anyone, even those who loyally support his irrelevant ramblings. It sells air time. That's his job and he does it to the best of his obviously limited ability.

But his disparaging comment about harmonicas is a disgraceful insult to millions of harmonica players worldwide and a cheap shot at an inexpensive but highly complex and versatile musical instrument that is anything but a toy. It takes the same amount of skill and dedication to play professional quality harmonica as it does any other musical instrument.

But Mr. Rooney wouldn't know that. He's been toodling his own kazoo for so long now it all sounds the same to him. If he could report news as well as I play harmonica, this post wouldn't be necessary.

Cheers,
Gorfalamu

[gorfalamu]

I am not surprised that Mr. Rooney, relegated for decades now to the status of "Least of the Curmudgeons," would thusly treat his fans and their offerings. Mr. Rooney's schtick is to stick it to someone, anyone, even those who loyally support his irrelevant ramblings. It sells air time. That's his job and he does it to the best of his obviously limited ability.

But his disparaging comment about harmonicas is a disgraceful insult to millions of harmonica players worldwide and a cheap shot at an inexpensive but highly complex and versatile musical instrument that is anything but a toy. It takes the same amount of skill and dedication to play professional quality harmonica as it does any other musical instrument.

But Mr. Rooney wouldn't know that. He's been toodling his own kazoo for so long now it all sounds the same to him. If he could report news as well as I play harmonica, this post wouldn't be necessary.

Cheers,
Gorfalamu

[drputt45]

Andy, you obviously are not sticking the "stuff" you receive where everyone intends for you to stick it. If you did, we wouldn't have to hear about it.

[donnie900]

I'll send ya brownies, Andy. Just don't mind de corn in it..

[grammawhamma]

Maybe his next gift will be a bag of dog poop...nice and ripe. Personally I would not waste a dime sending any celebrity anything. Andy was an ungrateful grumpy old man this week but I'll still watch him just to see what he comes up with next.

[jimfinster]

curmudgeon

[wolfn2007]

Andy is the Don Rickles of News Commentary, he always speaks his mind and doesn%u2019t hold anything back. Has Andy ever been none insulting ..LOL If you%u2019re a fan of Andy then you understand, that is who he is.

Andy your too funny and always make my day!

[terribayless-2009]

The problem isn't throwing away the stuff - it's telling everyone he is throwing it all away. I do have to clean house once in a while, but I appreciate the fact that I am given gifts. This article does not make him sound like he appreciates his fans for their thoughtfulness at all!