June 10, 2007
Andy On 'Interesting Junk'
Andy Rooney On The Stuff People Send Him
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Play CBS Video Video Andy Rooney Receives Presents In Full: Andy Rooney gets a lot of "interesting junk" from fans of his show.
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Andy Rooney (CBS)
The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.
I don't mean to be unfriendly but, I don't know what possesses people to send me things but I get a ton of stuff in the mail. Most of it is junk but some of it is interesting junk.
I made the mistake of saying that about the only medicine I take is an occasional Tum and someone sent me a lifetime supply of Tums. I've estimated that there are about 2,200 Tums. If I take two a week, these would last me 1,100 weeks which is about 21 years.
I also got a "professional quality kazoo." I wouldn't want an amateur-quality kazoo.
I had one when I was a kid but a kazoo must be near the bottom of the list of musical instruments, below the harmonica certainly and just above the Jew's harp.
I get a lot of books from people looking for a plug. I've never plugged a book yet but that doesn't seem to discourage anyone.
A man named Bruce Bowman sent me a book he wrote called "Exposed." I guess it's a good book but he actually sent me a box with 20 copies of it. What am I supposed to do with 20 copies of a book like this that I don't want one of?
He probably chose the best-looking picture of himself for the cover - he isn't really this good-looking.
People are always painting pictures of me. If I thought I looked like most of them, I'd get into some other line of work where my face didn't show.
This was sort of a surprise: an irreligious T-shirt. Sent by an atheist I suppose. I don't know how many atheists there are in this country.
I also got a piece of gold sent to me by a man in Ft. Walton Beach, Fla. It's one ounce of 14 karat gold. I'm not sure what a karat is but whatever it is I have to send this back or I'd get fired.
I think I know what I'm going to do with all these things people have sent me. I'm going to get them all together - put them in a big box, tie a ribbon around it - and throw the box away.
Written by Andy Rooney
©MMVII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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See all 41 CommentsI see ur point alot of that stuff you just didnt need and if realy want it then you would of bout it right? So in that case if you dont like the stuff people send you can you send me something, like a new Jimmy Page Signature Les Paul Guitar Please!!!! send to 829 California Sett. California Sett. NB, Canada
I am s hillbilly. Yer Mum forgot to teach yer manners. So yer can't use it then quietly give it those who could.
I am leally blind and I think yer need to thank yer viewers there kindness. So I feel yer ungrateful. Thibk of others. Good nite. hOPE A BETTER STORY NEXT WK.
But his disparaging comment about harmonicas is a disgraceful insult to millions of harmonica players worldwide and a cheap shot at an inexpensive but highly complex and versatile musical instrument that is anything but a toy. It takes the same amount of skill and dedication to play professional quality harmonica as it does any other musical instrument.
But Mr. Rooney wouldn't know that. He's been toodling his own kazoo for so long now it all sounds the same to him. If he could report news as well as I play harmonica, this post wouldn't be necessary.
Cheers,
Gorfalamu
But his disparaging comment about harmonicas is a disgraceful insult to millions of harmonica players worldwide and a cheap shot at an inexpensive but highly complex and versatile musical instrument that is anything but a toy. It takes the same amount of skill and dedication to play professional quality harmonica as it does any other musical instrument.
But Mr. Rooney wouldn't know that. He's been toodling his own kazoo for so long now it all sounds the same to him. If he could report news as well as I play harmonica, this post wouldn't be necessary.
Cheers,
Gorfalamu
Andy your too funny and always make my day!
In my opinion this was not one of Andy's best columns but remember that much of our world's best humor is often written -between- the lines. You may have to read/listen/watch it a bit more carefully to find the funny but it will reward you by keeping you laughing later longer.
In these hard times of war, protest, high gas prices and overworked, underpaid masses, a gesture of kindness is something to be treasure and appreciated. You are looked upon by many of your viewers as a man to admire. Viewers from all walks of life stop for a few minutes to listen to your words of wisdom. These viewers insure your job and the opportunity for to express your opinion publicly. You should say "Thank you".
Your viewers insure your livelihood and additionally show their admiration for you by sending you gifts from Tums to books to paintings among many other items. You are loved and respected in a time when so many are angry, frustrated or simply live on the "It's all about me" factor. Instead of insulting everyone by stating that their gifts are a nuisance to you and your plans are to throw them in the trash, you should publicly thank your viewers for their generosity in showing that they care about you.
As to the gifts that annoy you so much... well, graciously donate them to libraries, schools, charities and to rest homes , to name a few places. You most likely lost many admires over your last telecast as you heartlessly bashed the gifts you received in such a appalling manner. Shame on you for being so cold-hearted and down right mean. I think you should apologize to the public for your crude insults.
Where would you be without your audience?
Signed,
Thoroughly discussed with Andy Rooney... WHAT A JERK!!!
Dear CBS News,
Put Andy in a big box, tie a ribbon around it and throw it away!
Maybe it's time to learn about gratitude, Mr. Rooney,
don't expect any gifts in the future, unless like a previous poster stated, it's a lump of coal, because that is all you deserve.
Is there a way that CBS could sell the gifts that have been sent to you. Then the proceeds could be donated to a charity? Thank you Love the show. Kimberly
Yours Truly,
Carsen B
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See all 41 Comments