Nov. 23, 2006

Reasons For GOP Gratitude

NRO: Despite Losing Majority, A Bright Side For The Right Side

  • Like this turkey spared of the Thanksgiving table, Republicans have reasons to be thankful. Photo

    Like this turkey spared of the Thanksgiving table, Republicans have reasons to be thankful.  (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

(National Review Online)  This column was written by Bridget Johnson

The Democrats won control of the House and Senate. Nancy Pelosi will be the next speaker of the House. Rummy has been retired. John Bolton, probably the flyest ambassador we ever sent to the United Nations, won’t even get a fair up-or-down vote from appeasement-happy legislators. And to add a pinch of torture worthy of the Geneva Conventions, we’re bombarded by the details of the freaky, tonsil-hockey Scientology wedding of TomKat.

One may wonder, what is there to be thankful for this Turkey Day? It’s like signs of the apocalypse are knocking on the screen door (not to mention your relatives) and we’re supposed to just dig into the cranberry sauce.

In the interest of encouraging a shot-glass-half-full mentality in these darkening times, everyone should remember the Five Things To Be Thankful for (Even with a Democratic Majority):

1. Al Qaeda endorsed the Democrats’ victory. Of course we shouldn’t be thankful for the American voters casting ballots in a way that is met with approval from al Qaeda in Iraq leader Abu Hamza al-Muhajir (“They voted for something reasonable in the last elections,” he said), but this episode of Spanish elections redux (post-Madrid train bombings) gives cause to scream “Told you so!” over the gravy to every appeasement-loving lefty this Thanksgiving. It’s as simple as mashing potatoes: If al Qaeda hates George W. Bush with such vitriol (“the most stupid president,” said al-Muhajir), he must be doing something right. He’s scaring them. He’s keeping them on the run. He’s taking the fight to them. When al-Qaeda starts lashing out at Pelosi as their most bad enemy in the whole wide world, we’ll talk.

2. Iran probably won’t have nukes by next Thanksgiving. And Benjamin Netanyahu still has a microphone to attempt to warn the clueless of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s nefarious intentions, in the face of entities like the Guardian using wussy terms such as “less-than-dovish demeanour” to describe Iran’s nuclear ambitions. Of course, Iran is pressing forward with its plans over anyone’s objections, and you may not be thankful that “Iran” doesn’t seem to be on the Democrats’ lips, but at least Mahmoud is probably thanking his lucky stars.

3. Sen. George Allen, fresh off his defeat by steamy-book-writer Jim Webb, will most likely not be the Republican nominee for the White House in 2008. And that’s a good thing, because I want the GOP to keep the White House, and Allen would not win. I admit I never was a champion of his candidacy even before he uttered the “macaca” heard ’round the world. I used to disagree with pundits who lifted him up as the next beacon of light for the GOP just on the grounds that the man is about as exciting as paint thinner. Put against a charismatic, if ideologically lamebrained, Democratic opponent in the presidential race, he would lose. After the Webb race, Allen’s political closet is now very obviously stuffed with things for the Democrats to use. And the Republicans can’t afford to go into such a key contest already limping.

4. John Murtha’s not as cool as he thought. Or as cool as Nancy thought. But the loss (149-86) of the antiwar poster boy to Steny Hoyer for the majority leader post is something to be thankful for, and for a couple of reasons. First, Pelosi, who pushed for Murtha, got eggnog on her face, and that alone was just fun to watch. “Pelosi did not have to choose sides in this fight,” wrote David Corn in The Nation. “But because she fiercely lobbied her fellow House Democrats for Murtha — after first saying she would remain neutral in this bitter battle — she begins her tenure as speaker with a loss that was self-inflicted.” Second is the possibility that moderation won when it came to war ideology. Perhaps, just perhaps, this means there won’t be another impetuous pullout in the spirit of a George McGovern.

5. Saddam Hussein is a dead turkey walking. Soon vast amounts will be saved by nixing the tyrant’s Doritos bill, and Ramsey Clark will have to find a new judiciary to annoy. Saddam’s appeal — which will take about 20 years less than a capital case in the U.S. — has been proceeding even as European progressives attempt revenge by ludicrously trying to nail Donald Rumsfeld on war crimes. We don’t yet know if Saddam will be executed by Christmas, New Year’s, or Groundhog Day, but it will be a holiday in Iraq nonetheless (except perhaps in pouty Tikrit).

Feeling better already? It doesn’t stop there, as there’s much more to be thankful for: You weren’t invited to the TomKat wedding. You’re not having Thanksgiving dinner with Pelosi and Murtha. You’re alive today because you decided not to wait in line for a Sony PlayStation 3. And John Kerry still thinks he’s a viable presidential candidate after his “botched joke” (though he still hasn’t admitted that his 2004 White House run was a botched joke).

And thank goodness for all these reasons for thanksgiving, because things aren’t bound to look up anytime soon. Hugo Chavez is about to re-elect himself president. Charlie Rangel is the incoming chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee (where’s that bottle of Kennedy cheer?). And T.M.X. Elmo promises to turn Toys “R” Us into Sadr City this Christmas season.

Okay, go ahead and drown those Democratic-majority sorrows in the pumpkin pie.



By Bridget Johnson
Reprinted with permission from National Review Online.



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Add a Comment See all 32 Comments
by kwch November 23, 2006 11:42 AM PST
We can also be thankful that the party/administration that has been in power and caused "Iran to be pressing forward with its plans over anyone%u2019s objections" and "apocalypse to be knocking on the screen door" to a least been limited to a minority in congress.

It is true and somewhat bewildering that al Qaeda is against Bush, I mean after all, he is the one primarily responsible for their ranks to be swelling at an astronomical rate the past few years.
Reply to this comment
by nvme3 November 23, 2006 11:44 AM PST
I am saddened by this commentary, by Those who do not wish to Unite for the common good. America has spoken. Instead of suggesting true optimism "the us and them" mentality of fear and division seaps through. We are governed with our own consent. What happened in this election was a referendum on the party in powers abdication of its responsibility toward accountability. America made a decision to change. Give thanks for that. Change is the one certainty, the one constant. that which does not change becomes entropic. The Minority party was not voted in, the majority was voted out. Give thanks for that. Seeking to undermine the congress and senate before its even taken office is destructive toward our country. The partisianship is counter-productive. When a party is placed before a country then that country will be doomed.
America exists as a result of the constitution. America is the result of its Ideals. America is the result of the efforts of its people. America will continue long after all of us fade from memory so long as we "Unite". Im not sure who coined the Phrase but it is appropo "United we stand, divide we fall"
Reply to this comment
by duffyn November 23, 2006 12:55 PM PST
I agree with kchafey. And, who says Al Qaeda is happy the Dems won? And even if they are, that may actually be good. Also agree with nvme3. bush's driving us into the ground. What a negative divisive, mean spirited article. We don't need this kind of journalism. Happy Thanksgiving Bridget Johnson.
Reply to this comment
by ibcrazybones November 23, 2006 2:26 PM PST

Dear Bridget Johnson:
Quite the mean-spirited, bitter article. You are definitely still in the anger phase over the big neocon *** whuppin.
Reply to this comment
by itchyb-2009 November 23, 2006 3:10 PM PST
What a pathetic piece of pulp. If this is the best the National Review can come up with, this is a good sign that the country is heading in the right direction
Reply to this comment
by jw218389 November 23, 2006 9:10 PM PST
Wow! This is a REALLY SAD PIECE OF "JOURNALISM".

The Neo Cons are still in denial about their failed political agenda. Iraq is the cornerstone of their bullethead philosphy.

I guess they didn't fail though if you work for oil companies or Halliburton - they are laughing all the way to bank and their pockets are bulging with the Middle Class' money.
Reply to this comment
by rharrin1 November 23, 2006 9:59 PM PST
Don't get upset everybody Bridget always talks like this when it's that time of the month.
Reply to this comment
by djermano November 24, 2006 6:21 AM PST
Sounds like a bit of GOP Republican Wining. Cheers to Nancy and I don't mean Reagan. The mincemeat is coming when they include Bush and Cheney with Rummys record of gobbler crimes. Sure would like to give real thanks by having the trial of Saddam dropped, knowing America really is the one to blame for the troubles, since they armed this guy. Wish all the Vets who suffered from Gulf War Syndrome during the Kuwiat invasion some peace and thanksgiving for bringing to light the ludicrist people responsible for Iraq. We know who they are...
Reply to this comment
by rafterman1 November 24, 2006 9:40 AM PST
Ironic that the right continues to say Dems will hurt national security, that we want the terrorists to win blah blah blah. Yet it is Bush and the right who have seriously damaged our fight with terrorism. Iraq has become a training ground and recuiting poster for terrorists - their "9-11". The fight has exhausted our military snd severely limited our ability to respond to real crisis, lke in Iran or North Korea. Iran and NK have become scared ******** by Bush, which is what is motivating the Iranians and North Koreans to go nuclear. Don't think so? Iran sees how it's threatened with force while it has no nukes yet NK gets "negotiations" with nukes. The Iranians can see the writing on the wall. In fact, it's our new military limitations that have emboldened Iran and NK to push forward with the nuke programs.

We have also spit in the face of our friends and allies and even countires that are iffy in terms of being allies. As anyone kows, you need to be able to work with allies around the world to fight terrorism - we can't do it alone. But Bush has pi$$ed so many other countries off by disrespecting them, it has seriously hampered our global efforts to fight terrorism.

So, no NRO, it is the Republicans who have damaged national security. It will take many years to undo the damage. National security isn't simply who you can bomb into submission.

Reply to this comment
by bmadeline-2009 November 24, 2006 9:55 AM PST
To be resolute when one is wrong, is stupid...i.e.Bush
Reply to this comment
by marcodele November 24, 2006 10:09 AM PST
That's a good picture of President Bush. But who's that man petting his neck?
Reply to this comment
by mygramma November 24, 2006 10:15 AM PST
Typical neocon denial and neocon spin from a neocon dunce. "Rummy has been retired" ??? He was fired, Bridget. The democrats have across the board extended the hand of bipartisanship and conciliation since the elections. What do you do? Cling to the tired, nasty rhetoric of the neocon talk radio jerks and their manufactured sterotypes of democrats as anti-American.

Most conservatives seem to have a way of checking reality with some degree of accuracy. Not bridget. Get real, lady.
Reply to this comment
by marcodele November 24, 2006 10:32 AM PST
The sad fact is whether or not Rummy is 'retired' or 'fired' - because of him, thousands are 'dead.'
Reply to this comment
by besscannon-2009 November 24, 2006 11:30 AM PST
We should have turned Sadaam over to Praque once we captured him, then got the heck out of there and not tried to force our way of life and government on Iraq, or, any other country, for that matter. Our way is not everyone else's way. How would we react were some other country to come in, capture, or, assisnate our president, then try to force their government and religion on us? We would hate it and fight back. So...'nuff said!
Reply to this comment
by swingalong November 24, 2006 11:42 AM PST
Remember the old Soviet Union and how they had so-called journalists who could really only tow the party line? National Review and Fox News seem the same. This is not really journalism.

No matter how ridiculous a thing is on the very face of it, these phoney journalists and reporters must manufacture happy talk to support the ruling party whether or not such twaddle flies in the face of reason. Facts, aren't important to them. And when I read sugar-coated nonsense like this I feel that these people don't give a hoot about our troops or our country.

By the way, that "Al Qaeda endorsed the Democrats%u2019 victory." is simply a blatant, made-up lie. Yes, folks -- if you vote against the republicans, you vote with the terrorists! This is just more of the low-life garbage that lost the republicans both houses. Here's the sad fact: George W is the gift to Al Qaeda that keeps on giving and people know it -- including the terrorists.
Reply to this comment
by bushrocks1 November 24, 2006 12:14 PM PST
Would I send my son to this war? You might ask would I send him to WW II? Or Vietnam? Maybe you would distinguish those conflicts and whether you would send your son to fight in them. But that question is misdirected in a very important way: I can't command my son to go to war. He has to make that choice. So the better question would be: would I volunteer to fight in Iraq, WW II, Vietnam? Would I volunteer to fight in any war? Respond if drafted? I don%u2019t know. I'm not equivocating, only addressing that it is a hypothetical. As a hypothetical, I can say, sure I'd fight. But I have nightmares of battle (from my past life as a Jacobite). So how do I feel toward those who do volunteer? Impressed and maturely knowing that many things go into their decision. But I do strongly believe that a country who can't find those men is doomed. The fact that we can find them is one reason why I say there is no failure in Iraq. Objectively, I also believe it for other reasons. An attempt to establish democracy in the Middle East is a bold, brilliant, noble effort, facing a high chance of failure. That's why I greatly respect and admire those who have made the attempt--the Bush administration. They have been resolute, something I have not seen in my lifetime. They may not succeed, for reasons outside their control or fault: traitors on the home front, being a big one. But now those traitors have apparently occupied the high ground. Yet... we're still in Iraq. Why?... I'm waiting.
Reply to this comment
by jimesmith1 November 24, 2006 1:33 PM PST
OMG -- Bridget, get a life. If this is what you have to give thanks about, what a pathetic life you seemingly live. Wow -- shocking.
Reply to this comment
by mrthornman November 24, 2006 4:08 PM PST
We would be really thankful if CBS does not post any more articles by this person. Pathetic.
Reply to this comment
by music35-2009 November 24, 2006 5:03 PM PST
mrthornman, are you not thankful for freedom of speech? I'm actually surprised CBS let the "other side" speak. Kudos to CBS. You need to do it more often!! Two sides, then we decide. We are smart enough to decide for ourselves. Don't just feed us one-sided, leftist, liberal propaganda. Let me read other points of view.

From a far-leftist, but a fair one --- thank you very much!!
Reply to this comment
by fryedbread November 24, 2006 5:08 PM PST
I am also thankful that this was printed.

Let Ms. Johnson have her rope. Like the rest of the delusional right wing, she seems to know what to do with it.

I have to say, with so many of them hanging themselves with their own words lately, I am impressed that the GOP's House of Cards has such strong rafters!
Reply to this comment
by marcodele November 24, 2006 5:12 PM PST
Let's hope is it one of the last gasps of the right wing nuts we've been subjected to twenty four seven for the last six years.
Reply to this comment
by jw218389 November 24, 2006 6:57 PM PST
Wow! This is LAME. I would think that even the Dittoheads would find this piece of "journalism" to be REALLY SAD.

Now we know why the Haters are losing control. Name calling, rascism, and fear mongering only work for a short time.

It's definitly an embarassing time to call yourself a Conservative if this is their best work.
Reply to this comment
by webepartying November 24, 2006 9:45 PM PST
Nice piece of Hackery. Also, according to Ron Suskind, the CIA consensus is that OBL deliberatly engineered a terrorist video designed to engineer a Bush reelection in 2004. So I wouldn't be so quick on the whole, the Democrats are Al-Queda's party thing. But nice job Bridget, maybe you can take Tony Snow's job when he steps down--being well practiced in right wing mouthpiece hackery.

Warmest regards,

-Patrick
Reply to this comment
by mrthornman November 24, 2006 11:14 PM PST
good old bushrocks1

He has that old cut-n-paste down to an art. This is about the 6th time I have seen it posted. Weird.
Reply to this comment
by ibcrazybones November 24, 2006 11:21 PM PST
Ya, he must have snapped after the elections.
Reply to this comment
by bushrocks1 November 25, 2006 3:28 AM PST
Would I send my son to this war? You might ask would I send him to WW II? Or Vietnam? Maybe you would distinguish those conflicts and whether you would send your son to fight in them. But that question is misdirected in a very important way: I can't command my son to go to war. He has to make that choice. So the better question would be: would I volunteer to fight in Iraq, WW II, Vietnam? Would I volunteer to fight in any war? Respond if drafted? I don%u2019t know. I'm not equivocating, only addressing that it is a hypothetical. To a hypothetical, I can answer, sure I'd fight. But I have nightmares of battle (from my past life as a Jacobite). So how do I feel toward those who do volunteer? Impressed and maturely knowing that many things go into their decision. But I do strongly believe that a country that can't find those men is doomed. The fact that we can find them is one reason why I say there is no failure in Iraq. Objectively, I also believe it for other reasons. An attempt to establish democracy in the Middle East is a bold, brilliant, noble effort, facing a high chance of failure. That's why I greatly respect and admire those who have made the attempt--the Bush administration. They have been resolute, something I have not seen in my lifetime. They may not succeed, for reasons outside their control or fault: traitors on the home front, being a big one. But now those traitors have apparently occupied the high ground. Yet... we're still in Iraq. Why?... I'm waiting.
Reply to this comment
by egresor November 25, 2006 10:55 AM PST
you forgot one of the most significant things to be thankful for......

G.W.Bush is now officially a lame duck and has lost control of Congress!

Maybe now some of the huge damage his policies have done to this country will be brought to the forefront---and that being in every aspect----the war, terrorism, the economy, and the environment.

(not saying this about all of them---but) The Republicans are like the aliens in the movie 'They Live'. Sleep.....Sleep....Sleep. Be productive. Do not question your leaders.....Sleep....Sleep.

Reply to this comment
by egresor November 25, 2006 11:36 AM PST
here are a few quotations to be thankful for.

James Inhofe, (Rep Oklahoma) on pesticide residues in food:
"We're not going to worry.....Now that Tom Delay is gone it's up to Oklahoma to stand tall for DDT."

Pete Domenici, (Rep NM) on coastal drilling for oil:
Saying that New Mexico did not have any coastal beaches. "Why should the burden fall on us? Now it's Florida's turn." Did you hear that Jeb Bush?

Richard Pombo (Rep. Cal.) Committee on Resources:
"It's time those hapless toads learned how to get along with the rest of us." Shades of 'Silent Spring' anyone?

Ted Stevens, (Rep.Alaska) on pork barrel highway bridges to nowhere:
"We have more nowhere in Alaska than any other state and we need access to every bit of it."

Rep. Charles Taylor (Rep. NC) on US forests resources:
"We're going to stay the course: Our emphasis will remain on subsidizing big timber companies."

Joe Barton (Rep. Texas) on coal fired plants mercury cleanup (on mercury diminishing intelligence):
"Don't hold your breath"...."Voters are plenty smart. They keep electing me, don't they."

Peter King (Rep. NY) on requiring nuclear&chemical plants to guard from terrorist attacks:
"you can forget it"....If these patriotic companies are willing to risk their facilities....we should applaud their bravery."

Conrad Burns on sewage from water sources:
"nothing meaningful will be done"....Americans can buy drinking water with their tax cuts."

Were you thankful for those guys Bridget Johnson?
Reply to this comment
by bushrocks1 November 25, 2006 12:26 PM PST
Would I send my son to this war? You might ask would I send him to WW II? Or Vietnam? Maybe you would distinguish those conflicts and whether you would send your son to fight in them. But that question is misdirected in a very important way: I can't command my son to go to war. He has to make that choice. So the better question would be: would I volunteer to fight in Iraq, WW II, Vietnam? Would I volunteer to fight in any war? Respond if drafted? I don%u2019t know. I'm not equivocating, only addressing that it is a hypothetical. To a hypothetical, I can answer, sure I'd fight. But I have nightmares of battle (from my past life as a Jacobite). So how do I feel toward those who do volunteer? Impressed and maturely knowing that many things go into their decision. But I do strongly believe that a country that can't find those men is doomed. The fact that we can find them is one reason why I say there is no failure in Iraq. Objectively, I also believe it for other reasons. An attempt to establish democracy in the Middle East is a bold, brilliant, noble effort, facing a high chance of failure. That's why I greatly respect and admire those who have made the attempt--the Bush administration. They have been resolute, something I have not seen in my lifetime. They may not succeed, for reasons outside their control or fault: traitors on the home front, being a big one. But now those traitors have apparently occupied the high ground. Yet... we're still in Iraq. Why?... I'm waiting.
Reply to this comment
by bushsucks13 November 25, 2006 7:52 PM PST
Would I send my dog to this war? You might ask would I send him to WW II? Or Vietnam? You might even ask if I am a nutcase. Maybe you would distinguish those conflicts and whether you would send your dog to fight in them. But that question is misdirected in a very important way: I can't command my dog to go to war. Hell, I can't even teach him to fetch. He has to make that choice. So the better question would be: would I volunteer to write dumb posts about Iraq, WW II, Vietnam? Yes! I'm not equivocating, only saying that if I am really wacked out on drugs. And I have nightmares of battle (from my past life in the nuthouse). So how do I feel toward those who do volunteer? Depressed that they are going to be blown to pieces for no reason. But I do strongly believe that a country, ummm, sorry, lost my train of thought there. Oh yeah! There is no failure in Iraq, unless we leave before the job is done. Then we would lose, which I think may be the opposite of win. An attempt to establish democracy in the Middle East is a really bad idea, that's why I greatly respect and admire those who have made the attempt--the Bush administration. They have been desolute, something I have seen in my lifetime. They may not succeed, for reasons outside their control or fault: traitors on the home front, being a big one. Yes the traitors... or was I thinking potaters? Yes, that's it!! I am really hungry, gotta go. We're still in Iraq? Why?... I'm waiting.
Reply to this comment
by bushsucks13 November 26, 2006 12:01 AM PST
Would I send my dog to this war? You might ask would I send him to WW II? Or Vietnam? You might even ask if I am a nutcase. Maybe you would distinguish those conflicts and whether you would send your dog to fight in them. But that question is misdirected in a very important way: I can't command my dog to go to war. Hell, I can't even teach him to fetch. He has to make that choice. So the better question would be: would I volunteer to write dumb posts about Iraq, WW II, Vietnam? Yes! I'm not equivocating, only saying that if I am really wacked out on drugs. And I have nightmares of battle (from my past life in the nuthouse). So how do I feel toward those who do volunteer? Depressed that they are going to be blown to pieces for no reason. But I do strongly believe that a country, ummm, sorry, lost my train of thought there. Oh yeah! There is no failure in Iraq, unless we leave before the job is done. Then we would lose, which I think may be the opposite of win. An attempt to establish democracy in the Middle East is a really bad idea, that's why I greatly respect and admire those who have made the attempt--the Bush administration. They have been desolute, something I have seen in my lifetime. They may not succeed, for reasons outside their control or fault: traitors on the home front, being a big one. Yes the traitors... or was I thinking potaters? Yes, that's it!! I am really hungry, gotta go. We're still in Iraq? Why?... I'm waiting.
Reply to this comment
by sharncedar November 26, 2006 12:46 AM PST
Would I post a comment on this war? You might ask would I send a fig newton to Walmart? But that question is misdirected in a very important way: I can't command my dog to go to war. He has to make that choice. So the better question would be: would I volunteer to fight in drag? Of course. Because I'm freaking insane. Totally, totally, insane. And I'm driving everyone else insane by repeating my post. Would I volunteer to fight in any war? Respond if drafted? Perhaps. Depends on whether I get to wear a nurse's uniform. I don%u2019t know. Ask my sister. She was a Jacobitess in her last life. The fact that we can find WMD is one reason why I say there is no failure in Iraq. Objectively, I also believe it for other reasons. I can't tell you those reasons 'cause the turtle who visits my dreams told me not to say. An attempt to establish democracy in the Middle East is a bold, brilliant, noble effort, facing a high chance of failure. That's why I greatly respect and admire those who have made the attempt--the Bush administration. See, that was some good comedy. They have been resolutely wrong, something I have not seen in my lifetime. They may not succeed, for reasons outside their control or fault: traitors on the home front, being a big one. But now those traitors have apparently occupied the high ground, and also occupied the upwind position, I judge from the smell. Yet... my dog is still in Iraq. Why?... I'm waiting.
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