Parents Turn Violent During Youth Sports

Expert Says They Are Trying To Live Vicariously Through Kids

(CBS)  It was the big championship youth football game in Corpus Christi, Texas, and the 5- and 6-year-old athletes were playing with all their hearts.

With 10 seconds left on the clock, a coach charged the field and tackled a referee, knocking him unconscious and sparking a raucous brawl. Some parents jumped in to protect their kids, others to protect adults at the bottom of the pile.

The 18-year-old referee, Marc Benavides, didn't want to show his face, but says the coach — who is nearly three times his age — just exploded.

"He starts talking, so I'm ignoring him and he … starts cussing at me in front of the players, so I ended up throwing him out of the game," he told The Early Show correspondent Kelly Cobiella. Next thing I know, I'm the one getting hit."

"I'm at a loss for words because I just don't understand. This shouldn't happen in a youth football game," Felix Cornejo, President Corpus Christi Youth Football League, said.

This is not an isolated incident. Last month, a father took a gun onto a kid's football field in Pennsylvania. Earlier this fall, a father in California ran onto the field and knocked a player over.

Peter Roby, director of Center for the Study of Sport in Society at Northeastern University, said parents are losing perspective on the point of playing sports and are viewing the game through their own eyes, rather than from their child's point of view

He said "they are living vicariously, watching too much television."

"(That) leads to people really getting out of balance in terms of why they actually want their children to play in the first place," Roby told The Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith

Luckily, none of the kids in Texas was harmed. Tapes of the incident are being viewed by police and the district attorney's office. So far, the coach is the only one who might be charged with assault of a participant in a sporting event, which is a misdemeanor.
But Roby said this kind of parental behavior has a profound effect on children.

"It's traumatizing," he said. "There's a reason that of the almost 40 million children that play youth sports, 70 percent of them quit and the reason is because it's no longer fun and these are the reasons it's no longer fun."

The problem, he said, is that parents are trying to create fantasies inspired by the way some professional athletes behave.

"People want to bring things they see at high school and the professional level down to the youth sport level so they can create their own associates ... fantasies around being a professional coach, if you will," he said.

Roby said that the 5- and 6-year-olds who inspired the fight are not even mature enough to understand plays. They would be better served to participate in "informal instruction" an learn more complicated concepts when they get older.

Roby said that if a fight breaks out at a child's game, adults should make sure they and their children are safe.

"You don't want to put your own health and safety at risk but, if you can, look around the facility and see if there's somebody in charge of the venue, whether security or somebody there supervising. Ask them to intervene. I think that's the safest way to do that," he said.

[angel66mm]

Very mature of those adults...not - no wonder children resort to violence to solve their problems - look what they learn from those who are supposed to be their ultimate example - parents and coaches. Very, very disappointing to see this happen - yet again.

[mjv2944]

Parents living their sports fantacies through their kids. Most never wore a joke strap in their life.

[angelrle]

First of all, I am not justifying those actions, what those parents did was wrong.
But let me you ask you this, doesn't anyone feel that 5 & 6 yrs are too young to compete, I certainly do. Even around here in upstate NY, children cannot start youth football until they are 7 yrs... At the younger ages like above, there should not be competitions. Let these kids learn the fundamental and go out and have fun, they have plenty of time to compete as they get older.
How can anyone expect these kids to compete when they are not even old enough to understand the game?? This is the age where they are young to teach them sportsmanship and teamwork.
I wouldn't say it's the parents living through their children either, sure that's part of it....
I think this is the worst year so far of hearing about all of these bad things occuring in youth sports, it makes one wonder...
Growing up sure I had organized sports but not to the point where they are now and let me tell you, we all had more fun, going in to friends houses getting together and forming our own teams playing for fun.
There is hope for youth sports, the question is who's willing to step forward to make the difference.

[teke8]

I instruct children in horseback riding and find some of the same issues. The parents are physically violent but they live through their children. I also find parents theses days to be sorely lacking in parenting skills. They know how to be Mom and Dad but not parents, God forbid the kids have even a moment of frustration or Oh No! FAILURE. It is time parents quit expecting perfect children and settled for capable human beings.

[teke8]

I instruct children in horseback riding and although I don't see any violence, I do see parents living through their children. Parents these days are lacking in parenting skills, they know how to be Mom and Dad but not parents. God forbid kids get frustrated or OH NO! experience failure.As a culture everyone needs to work at improving parenting skills or we wind up with generations of incapable adults.

[angelrle]

You should take a look at www.momsteam.com lots of info to help prevent this kind of stuff.

[cantshutup]

People just get stupider and stupider...It's amazing...