Taking Time Out: Lessons From Cancer

Wife's Diagnosis Gives Photographer Joel Sartore A New Way Of Seeing Things

(CBS)  Despite all the medical advances of our time, none of us can buy full immunity from life's worst surprises. CBS News Sunday Morning contributor Joel Sartore says what we can do is learn from our experiences, and maybe share those lessons with others.

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We all have our ways of marking time. As a National Geographic photographer, my life is measured one from one story to the next. I bought my first house in Nebraska while I was on assignment shooting America's Gulf Coast. My son was born in the middle of a long story about the Endangered Species Act. My daughter came along with a pack of gray wolves.

Twenty stories later, though, it's the story on Alaska's North Slope that I'll remember most. It was about the loss of wilderness and innocence — and the story during which my wife got cancer. That's the one that made time stand still.

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We met in college, at a blues bar. She had long blonde hair and thought I was funny.

Beautiful, graceful and patient, she has remained my muse for 22 years, despite the thousands of times I've forced her to be photographed. She may have gotten tired of it now and then.

The picture-taking pretty much stopped though on the day she found that tumor in her right breast. It was the size of a hen's egg. Weirdly, it was Thanksgiving. By Christmas, the chemo had her weak and bedridden. Some days she was so sick she couldn't watch TV. One day she couldn't even talk.

Early detection saves lives. But ours was not early. By the time you can feel it yourself, it's bigger than the doctors want it to be. A surprise baby had distracted her from two annual mammograms. Now I'd pay anything to go back in time.

Cancer is a thief. It steals time. Our days are already short with worry. Then comes this relentless disease, unfair as a hailstorm at the harvest time. We instinctively know to brace for the worst.

Kathy went for chemo every week. The oncologist took blood, gave percentages, told us we were doing great. But he's been treating cancer patients a long time. We know he just doesn't know, isn't sure, and in his eyes I see his worries. He carries our burden, too.

Now, forgive me for saying this, but cancer can also be a blessing. An amazing experience that forces us to make amends, to set things right.

For example, cancer made me a better father. My work had made me a stranger to my three kids. They got along just fine without me. I was so bad that once I tried to get Kathy's midwife to induce labor just to get me back out on the road the next day.

But now I've changed, and for good. I appreciate what I have instead of lamenting what I don't ... a new life and a new way of seeing, all from one malicious lump.

On our drives home from the doctor, I'd often look around at stoplights. I'd see people talking on their cell phones, putting on makeup, eating. They're all in a hurry. It all seems so important.

But is it?

In the end, each of us has so little time. We have less of it than we can possibly imagine. And even though it turns out that Kathy's cancer has not spread, and her prognosis is good, we try to make it all count now, appreciating every part of every day.

Sometimes, we sit together on our porch at sunset. We don't talk much. We just hold hands. We listen to the crickets chirp, soft and cautious, as if they know that first frost might come tonight. We stay a while, until the last of the light is gone, until we can't see anything. Until we're just two hearts in the darkness. We're in no hurry at all.

[tzargregory]

I was deeply touched by Joel's piece. Through his pictures and words he told us about the meaning of life - to love, and to be loved. Having dealt with serious health issues this past year myself, I am profoundly grateful to Joel for sharing his experience with his words and art. I'll say a prayer for Kathy, indeed his whole family for continued health and blessings. Joel's words made me reflect on my experience, and nudged me to say the important things to the important people in my life. Thank you for this important message.

[tzargregory]

I was deeply touched by Joel's piece. Through his pictures and words he told us about the meaning of life - to love, and to be loved. Having dealt with serious health issues this past year myself, I am profoundly grateful to Joel for sharing his experience with his words and art. I'll say a prayer for Kathy, indeed his whole family for continued health and blessings. Joel's words made me reflect on my experience, and nudged me to say the important things to the important people in my life. Thank you for this important message.

[psharp7]

Mr. Sartore's segment was very touching. Even though it has been 3 years since I lost my husband to cancer, barely 6 months after being diagnosed, it is still very fresh in my memory. It is wonderful that Mr. Sartore has learned from his experience, and that his wife is doing well. He is a lucky man, which one can tell he realizes after watching his segment. He and his family are extremely blessed. It is sad that experiences like this have to take place before people realize what life is all about. Thank you for your beautiful and touching commentary.

[aljuma-2009]

i have been watching cbs sunday morning for over 20 yrs.i figured out how to program my first vcr when i was a resident physician at emory un.in he early 1970's so that i wouldn't miss the show when i was on call in hospital.fir the past 10 myrs i have been battling non hodgekins lymphoma.even when i was going thru a bone marrow transplant 9 yrs ago at memorial sloan kettering in nyc inever missed an episode.the segment about and by joel sartori and his wife's struggle was the finest piece you have ever shown and brought me to tears, both of remembrance and joy.i to am a better father,husband,and person not despite cancer but because of cancer.there are more then 10 million cancer survivors in the U.S. today and our numbers grow every day.stories such as this inspire and teach as well as giveus hope.thankyou for your excellant programs.allan tiedrich m.d.