The Crankiest Week Ever

(CBS)  Who declared the last seven days "National Kick-it-to-the-Curb Week?"

It seems like every day somebody was dumped, arrested, fired, quitting, canceling something, or just getting completely fed up.

Perhaps the approach of Labor Day and the end of summer is just making everybody really cranky.

The week kicked off with rapper Busta Rhymes' arrest on assault charges after he finished performing at a concert in New York Saturday evening. He was released the next day.

The rapper was reportedly accused of beating up some guy on Aug. 12 who spat on his car. Maybe Busta was simply fed up with the spitter's bad manners.

On Tuesday, Brittany Murphy and her fiancé, Joe Macaluso, called off their engagement. Murphy's publicist told The ShowBuzz in a statement that the couple plan on remaining close friends and "wish each other much happiness."

Just not happiness ever after.

Also Tuesday, in a spectacular case of "You're fired," "No, I quit," the 14-year relationship between Tom Cruise's production company and Paramount Pictures exploded after Sumner Redstone, chairman of Paramount parent Viacom Inc., said Cruise's recent behavior, such as jumping on Oprah Winfrey's couch and aggressively advocating Scientology, was "creative suicide." Redstone said such displays cost the studio up to $150 million in lost ticket sales for Cruise's last film, "Mission: Impossible III."

Cruise's representatives said Wednesday that the actor had told Paramount weeks ago that he would not renew his deal with the studio.

Oxygen debuted "Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty" Tuesday night. In the hidden-camera show, Doherty teams with someone who wants to break up with their significant other. In the opening episode, a former beauty queen told Doherty that she wanted to end her relationship with her obnoxious boyfriend of 18 months. Doherty set up a scene at a fake restaurant and watched the couple on a hidden camera. When the woman stepped away, Doherty showed up to tell the boyfriend that he was about to be dumped and showed him a farewell video message from his girlfriend.

The man, who didn't seemed fazed by the announcement, turned his attention on Doherty instead, asking "Are you ovulating?"

That's worse than Busta's spitter!

On Wednesday, Foxy Brown blew off a court hearing that dealt with charges filed by a former colleague. The judge gave her a pass — but said she'd have to show up for the next session. Maybe she was busy getting a manicure.

Also that day, a phone card company issued a press release announcing that it had canceled 50 accounts belonging to people they say hacked into other subscriber's voice mails. A lawyer for the company confirmed to The Showbuzz that one of the subscribers who was dumped was none other than Paris Hilton.

On Thursday, actress Leah Remini told E! News that she's fed up with people hounding Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise for pictures of their baby, Suri. "I think it's really scary," she said. "It's their baby, you know what I mean? Unless you've been in a situation with these paparazzi, I fully support to not take your baby out in that environment — I support people who go — look it's my kid, I don't have to show you a picture, I don't have to do anything."

Thursday also saw more fallout from the announcement that this season's contestants on CBS-TV's "Survivor" will be divided up by race. Some viewers were appalled, New York City officials demanded the show be pulled, and talk show hosts used the controversy as another good topic to riff on.

The week ended with the ultimate dis: Scientists stripped quiet, unassuming Pluto of its status as a true planet and knocked it down a few pegs to a lowly dwarf planet. National Geographic explained that true planets are "bodies that dominate their neighborhoods, "sweep up" asteroids, comets, and other debris, clearing a path along their orbits. By contrast, Pluto's orbit is somewhat untidy."

Martha Stewart should apply for the job.

By Judy Faber