Don't Marry Career Women? Not So Fast!

Forbes Opinion Piece Roils Cyberspace

(CBS)  This story was written by CBSNews.com's Melissa McNamara.

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What's a surefire way to attract attention to your story? Call it: "Don't Marry Career Women."

Forbes.com pulled down an article by its executive news editor about career women after it provoked a heated response from bloggers, and reposted the story with a "rebuttal" from a female reporter in their Silicon Valley bureau. The point-counterpoint has bloggers buzzing. "Forbes" is the second most popular search term on Technorati on Thursday, with over 194,000 links.

The article by Michael Noer contains reasons for men not to marry "career women." Noer relies primarily on dry sociological studies – not controversial in themselves and unlikely to spark online furor– but Noer's take on it is undoubtedly provocative. For example, his article begins:

"Guys: A word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career.

"A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women–even those with a ‘feminist’ outlook–are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner. Not a happy conclusion, especially given that many men, particularly successful men, are attracted to women with similar goals and aspirations. And why not? After all, your typical career girl is well-educated, ambitious, informed and engaged. All seemingly good things, right? Sure…at least until you get married. Then, to put it bluntly, the more successful she is the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you. Sound familiar?"

And if that sentiment weren't enough fodder for the blogosphere, the article originally appeared with a handy sidebar of "Nine Reasons To Steer Clear Of Career Women," illustrated with pictures of some sad-looking men. The sidebar no longer appears on the site but the blog Pandagon includes it here.

In her counterpoint, "Don't Marry A Lazy Man," Elizabeth Corcoran calls Noer's article "downright frightening."

"Studies aside, modern marriage is a two-way street," Corcoran writes. "Men should own up to their responsibilities, too."

Corcoran also points out that despite being a career woman, she and her husband are about to celebrate 18 years of a happy marriage. It's a point that resonates with many female bloggers who consider themselves career women and not surprisingly, took issue with Noer's piece.

"Articles like this are obviously insulting to women because they reinforce outdated and highly sexist notions of what a 'good woman' is, and they imply that if you don’t fit the Suzie Homemaker mold (which most stay-at-home moms don’t even fit) then your marriage prospects are shot," Jill at Feministe blogs. "And they reinforce the idea that marriage is the highest goal that women should seek."

"I'm still trapped in the house and perhaps going a little stir crazy, but I'm pretty damn sure it's still 2006," bitsandgiggles adds.

Other bloggers point out that Noer isn't one to shirk attention when writing about marriage. After all, he wrote an earlier piece about the economics of getting married versus hiring a prostitute. That article also contained references to several studies on "career women” and how they don't make for an ideal marriage.

Gawker notes that perhaps Noer has a few "issues with the institution of marriage."

But perhaps publicity was partly the intent of writing a potentially inflammatory piece?

"The latest rumor about the Forbes article by conveniently unreachable Michael Noer is that the piece was deliberately provocative. Not to inspire intelligent debate, mind you - but to drive traffic from the hip, highly-female blogger demographic to a publication to which they (I’m projecting here) would not ordinarily purchase a subscription," Jennifer writes at The New Charm School.

Readers on Forbes.com also weighed in. Some question what all the fuss is about. "I can't understand why women are getting so upset with this article. It is just examines statistical trends about social and economical aspects of gender equality," VegasMike writes. "The article is just informative to the reader. Men AND Women should have all the statistical knowledge facing the institution marriage today."

But Newbie disagrees. "Contrary to popular belief on this message board, a highly-educated, motivated, high-earning career woman can be 1/2 of a happy, well-functioning, productive marriage," Newbie writes. "Here's the winning formula - we support each other."

Sure many more people are reading Forbes.com today, but could it backfire? Perhaps. "It's incredibly disappointing to see them publish a piece that makes such gross generalizations about working women," Travelocity president and CEO Michelle Peluso, who has been featured in Forbes, told Salon.com. And she also said she planned to approach the magazine directly about the piece.

[elle_1]

WOMEN--GET REAL AND BE HONEST

I am a 24 year old female in law school who exemplifies everything Mr. Noer istrying to convey. I do not want to have kids (they are inconvenient and will ruin my party life); do not want to get married (why do so when there are so many guys to sleep around with); and will value my career more than anything else (what satisfaction do friends and family really bring?). Sadly, I am one of thousands of young women who feel this way. This is due to the bad ideas brought on by the feminist movement.

We are now living in a time when dogs/cats are replacing actual children. This is also a time in which there is an increase in the number of divorces occurring. In a few years, there will be more kids in America born of foreign parents than American parents. In addition, there is an increasing number of American men becoming more interested in foreign females.

Career women tend to be conniving, uncreative and unpleasant. I have found female bosses to be less pleasant than male bosses. The reason for that is that women in "power" feel that they have to prove themselves, therefore they tend to be overly aggressive.

It is ironic that despite this being a time in which freedom of speech is touted, the comments of one individual can spark so much uproar, leading to him having to recant his statements. The women who are upset are just too dishonest with themselves and others to admit that Noer may have a point.

- Elle

[elle_1]

WOMEN--GET REAL AND BE HONEST

I am a 24 year old female in law school who exemplifies everything Mr. Noer istrying to convey. I do not want to have kids (they are inconvenient and will ruin my party life); do not want to get married (why do so when there are so many guys to sleep around with); and will value my career more than anything else (what satisfaction do friends and family really bring?). Sadly, I am one of thousands of young women who feel this way. This is due to the bad ideas brought on by the feminist movement.

We are now living in a time when dogs/cats are replacing actual children. This is also a time in which there is an increase in the number of divorces occurring. In a few years, there will be more kids in America born of foreign parents than American parents. In addition, there is an increasing number of American men becoming more interested in foreign females.

Career women tend to be conniving, uncreative and unpleasant. I have found female bosses to be less pleasant than male bosses. The reason for that is that women in "power" feel that they have to prove themselves, therefore they tend to be overly aggressive.

It is ironic that despite this being a time in which freedom of speech is touted, the comments of one individual can spark so much uproar, leading to him having to recant his statements. The women who are upset are just too dishonest with themselves and others to admit that Noer may have a point.

- Elle

[seaport3]

Who is married to this chauvinistic insensitive,moron?

[peppers335]

there is a direct correlation between women in the workforce and unemployment rates. So if someone in the household doesnt have to work (financially speaking), do America a favor a give the job to people who need it.

[lunarclipse]

Oh ronny - also, it's "kicking you to the curb", not "curve". But then, you're obviously a moron.

[lunarclipse]

Has anyone figured out that possibly, just possibly, the reason women without careers are statistically less likely to divorce is that they simply lack the financial means to escape a bad marriage? (not that marriage to a man who opposes women having careers could be oppressive or anything).

Oh, and ronny - it's "riddance", not "riddens"

[ajones61-2009]

Wow. Is there no middle ground in being a wife and PART TIME career woman? There's a little thing called working from home with the emergence of the INTERNET. I'm in Advertising and Marketing and can complete over 60 hours worth of at-the-office work from home daily before lunch, and not on Sunday. I agree that ANYONE's career can put stress on a marriage: the husband's career and the wife's. You have to find balance in your life no matter what gender you are. BALANCE

[my2cents_06]

It is hard for me to totally disagree with the comments. Many career women make incomes similiar if not more than their husbands. I have personally known friends who have complained that there husbands weren't ambitious enough because the wives earned higher wages. Also, studies have shown that women are having far more extra-marital affairs largely due to the accessibility of ready, willing and able partners in the office. I think what is happening is a correction of the dynamic between men and women. I still believe that traditional roles by and large will work better over the long run but clearly not as they did when a wife stayed home with the kids and the husband worked. Some argue that one of the reasons that the Western world has done well economically is because we have the extra resource of women laborers whereas in places such as the Middle East, women are discouraged or not permitted to become a force in society. I think the simple solution is to determine what value system a potential marital partner has and ask oneself is that what I want to live with for the rest of my life. Personally, my next wife will not be a carrer woman because - coincidentally I presume - many of the negatives that I experienced were very similiar as to what was described in the article. Go figure!

[ronny525]

I agree with his comments. American men are simply tried of career American women. We are kicking you to the curve. Good riddens.

RH

[ronny525]

I agree with his comments. American men are simply tried of career American women. We are kicking you to the curve. Good riddens.

RH