(Christian Science Monitor)  Ink Eyes had written up a short speech, but he wasn't going to deliver it. Abu Rasha, the man who'd fought soldiers the day before in Baghdad, was going to do it instead. He kept practicing it aloud; I didn't understand most of it, except for when he said "CIA."

Then the leader turned and coached me intently. I was to say that they were mujahideen fighting to defend their country, that they wanted women freed from Abu Ghraib prison, and the US military, particularly the Marines, were killing and arresting their women and destroying their houses.

And I must cry, on cue.

Abu Rasha donned a jumpsuit and wrapped his head in a kaffiyeh. Two others did the same. I sat down in front of them and the camera rolled.
I started to give my speech. Abu Ali standing behind the camera ran his fingers down his cheeks, to signal that I needed to cry.

It took me a while to work up to the crying part. But I had a lot of pent-up emotion and stress, and by the time we finished, I was crying for real. (Later, I learned that Al Jazeera only aired about 30 seconds - without audio - of that first four-minute tape. The tears were never broadcast.)

As the taping ended, I put my head down and I just kept crying. I heard Abu Rasha sigh behind me in a sympathetic way, like he felt bad, and some of the other men were making little noises like they felt bad that I was sitting there crying in front of them.

Ink Eye's reaction was different. He showed no sympathy. And I knew his opinion of me - my personal character - might make the difference in whether I lived or died.

He said, "We have to do this again."

He wanted me to cry more and talk longer, and say how the Marines were destroying things, destroying their homes.

They had a special enmity for the U.S. Marines. What they didn't know - and I hoped they would never find out - was that I had been embedded with the Marines for five weeks in November and December.

Back then, the lieutenant of the platoon I was with had said that if anyone ever kidnapped me, a platoon of Marines would come to my rescue.

So, in the retake of the video I made a point of emphasizing the word "Marines." I said, "Their government isn't of the Iraqi people. It is a government brought by the American government and by the MARINES..."
I wanted them to know I was thinking of them. Come get me, guys. Please, come save me.

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Cast Of Captors

Abu Nour - Leader of Jill Carroll's kidnappers. Aka Ink Eyes. English/Arabic interpreter during her first day of captivity. Abu Nour is a nom de guerre. Abu means father, and in the Middle East it is followed by the first name of the oldest offspring: "Father of Nour."

Abu Rasha - Nom de guerre of No. 2 kidnapper. Boss of Carroll's guards. During her first night of captivity, she was kept at his house in Baghdad.

Abu Ali - Nom de guerre of man in charge of an insurgent cell under Abu Nour. Participated in Carroll's abduction. Has a stubble beard.

Um Ali - Wife of Ali. Guarded Carroll at all times in the three weeks of captivity.

Abu Hassan - Nom de guerre of No. 1 guard of Carroll. Trim, veteran.

Abu Qarrar - Nom de guerre of No. 2 guard of Carroll. Rotund, new recruit.

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Click here For a complete list of important people involved in this story.

By Jill Carroll and Peter Grier © 2006 The Christian Science Monitor. All rights reserved.