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Frustrated Singles Increasingly Turn To Experts For Dating Help

(AP)  Joanie Edelberg has read more than three dozen dating self-help books, and she keeps them lined up on two bookshelves in her home. But despite her extensive research into the intricacies of dating and the best intentions of her friends who tried to set her up with available men, her dating life was still stuck in neutral.

After her 40th dating book and still no results, the Evanston, Ill., real estate broker decided to seek professional help.

Edelberg, 50, became one of a growing number of frustrated singles to turn to dating coach for help. The services dating coaches provide range in price and nature, from personal consultations to fashion makeovers to "field trips" in which the coaches observe their clients' interaction with the opposite sex in a social setting and provide feedback. But the ultimate goal of their services is to help their clients hone their seductive skills for the often vexing dating world.

Dating coaches' clientele is similarly diverse — Edelberg's coach, Chicago-based Patti Feinstein, says her male and female clients range in age from 22 to 72. But the one thing they have in common is difficulty in meeting the right person.

Feinstein became a dating coach after getting fed up with her career as a matchmaker and seeing many of her clients' dates go badly.

"Many of them had built up their expectations so high that they were flopping on their dates," she said. "Finally, I realized that many of them just didn't know how to date. So I figured I'd try to teach them that, instead."

Feinstein — a married woman — re-entered the dating pool to study interactions between singles. She also spent a year working with a psychiatrist to improve her understanding of psychology. In 2002, she began offering her services as a dating coach.

Feinstein is far from alone. Because there is no central accreditation agency for personal coaches, information on the number of dating coaches in the United States is hard to come by. But the nonprofit International Coach Federation, whose members offer personal coaching services in a variety of areas, claims a membership of 10,500 worldwide.

Feinstein, who charges $100 per hour for her counseling services, tries to help her clients work through their challenges with a mixture of personal counseling and in-the-field coaching.

"Everybody has a different issue, and they can't always see it," she said. "I try to tell them what the issues are without hurting their feelings. I try to make dating fun for them instead of this hugely anxiety-ridden experience."

Although the services dating coaches provide often resemble psychotherapy and many dating coaches have a background in it, the American Psychological Association warns the two are not to be confused. Spokeswoman Pamela Willenz said psychologists or psychiatrists have doctoral-level health/mental health training and are required to be licensed to practice in the state in which they work. Dating coaches are not accredited as such by the APA but are often, like Feinstein, self-made.