How To Make A 'Life Shift'

Aleta St. James Offers Advice On Overcoming Obstacles In Her Book

(CBS) 
Here is how she says you, too, can overcome your obstacles and move on towards your own destiny.

Transfer Lack Into Gratitude
"The more you say, 'Isn't it great I have this? I want to crate more and greater things,' that's when you can really hook into abundance," she says. "If you stay in worry, you'll never achieve your goals."

Transform Regret Into Possibilities
She says, "The worst thing people do is get stuck in their hurt. What someone did to us. How we weren't treated right. How we should have behaved and we didn't. People walk around being hurt. They create bad relationships, bad career choices because they are locked in the past and feel hopeless. Looking back prevents us from moving forward into the future and taking chances."

Transform Defeat Into Persistence
"When we feel like we've failed or not lived up to expectations, we feel lots of shame," she says. "But you can't get locked into those feelings of hopelessness and failure, rejection and shame. You have to get back into the game. Why didn't something work? What were the circumstances? What do you need to do to get better? Each question gives valuable information. And it takes the negative energy and starts you focusing on the positive and turning the situation around. The people who are most successful in life are the ones who are most persistent. They believe in their dreams and won't give up. It's hard to be successful when you have lots of shame. Being stuck in defeat keeps you in a sad, resentful, angry and bitter place."

Transform Low Self-Esteem Into Self-Worth
"Self-confidence comes when you take risks and ask for what you want," St. James says. "Low self-esteem says, 'I'm not enough, others are better. I can't do it.' It makes you feel, why even try? You need to use your magnetic energy and get supportive people in your life. You need to create a 'dream team' of people encouraging you to 'go for it' and encouraging you on. It's important to have that in your life, rather than being in the 'chat-room of discontent.'"

"Life shift" is published by Fireside, which is owned by Viacom, the same parent company as CBSNews.com.