Our Pampered Pets

Bill Geist On Some Extreme Examples Of A $36B Industry In US

(CBS)  Dick van Patten, from the TV show "Eight is Enough," has come out with a food line that owners can enjoy with their dogs, "dog food for humans," he calls it. "We have 'hobo chili,' and then we have the Chinese takeout. (Items such as) chop suey chow mein." And Irish stew.

He calls his line Dick Van Patten's Natural Balance Dog Food.

Are there any side effects to people eating dog food, Geist wondered.

"Sometimes people start chasing cars and looking for water hydrants," Van Patten joked.

There are many such crossover products, Geist pointed out, as pets lead more and more human lives every day. We recognize that today's dog has psychological needs.

Talking Boneenables you to record a message to your dog, "for canines that have separation anxiety," a company rep explains. "When you're not home, you leave your voice at home so your dog has that comfort level of knowing you're there when you're not there."

Today's dog is a cleaner dog, Geist noticed, thanks to modern technology.

How about – a spa for pets, with the Pet Spa Grooming Machine, which claims to make for cleaner dogs with more pleasant aromas, with such wares as lavender fresh cologne and deodorant for dogs.

Among other things, it results in urine being washed off. Urine-off. "Wasn’t he a Russian ballet dancer?" Geist kidded.

Today's pet has more leisure time, Geist says, and gets more fun out of life.

How about — roller skates for birds? One official of The Beak Place, which markets them, was asked by Geist if that's really a growth industry.

"Sure," came the reply. "Like bicycles for fish."

"Our pets have unprecedented educational opportunities," Geist noted, such as what amounts to a Berlitz for birds, at Feathered Phonics CDs.

One CD has eight languages, including English, Chinese, Japanese, French, Italian, Russian and German, "in case a bird wants to travel," Geist figured.

"I think," said a rep of The Movie for Dogs, "four or five years from now, we're going to train dogs via video.

The company also makes entertainment videos for pets.

"Now," Geist said, "owners may like all of these products, but we wondered what the dogs were thinking. 'Cookie' didn't seem all that impressed with the indoor pet-a-potty, and headed straight for the pet greeting cards, Edible Greeting Cards.

Where'd the idea come from?

"In the years of running our veterinary practice, people would send their dog a card when they were away and ask us to read the postcard to their dog."

"We thought," Geist said, "dressing up dogs might be sort of humiliating to them, but Cookie loved clothes shopping."

She sampled Doggles Dog Goggles.

"Leading a dog's life? Don't you wish!," Geist concluded.