Boomers' Aging Anxiety

Lloyd Garver On Large Print, Louder Films And, Uh, Something Else

(CBS)  Many boomers readily admit that their memories are not as good now as they once were. There are already devices to help you find your keys and glasses. You attach a little receiver to the object which will beep when you push the transmitter. All you have to do is follow the beep, and you've got your keys and glasses. My big problem with this is, how would I remember where I put the transmitter? I need a device that could hear me when I say, "Where are my stupid keys?" and then answer me with, "They're right on the table where you left them, stupid." Techies, get to work on that one.

The most annoying and embarrassing memory failure is not remembering the names of people we should remember. We run into someone whose face is very familiar, but we don't have a clue what name goes with that face. One solution would be for everyone over 40 to wear a nametag. This has many drawbacks, not the least of which is that you'd have to remember to put on your name tag before you leave the house.

Forget nametags and technology. If someone who was born at least 40 years ago runs into another person of the same generation, they have an obligation to let each other know what their names are before panic sets in. If the salutation of "Hi" is followed by nothing or by something lame like, "How are you?" rather than a name, the other person should supply his or her name immediately. There's nothing wrong with the second person saying, "Hi, Bill. I'm Jane. I used to live down the hall from you, but I know you remember that." Then when Bill says, "Of course, I knew that," let him get away with it. We've got to stick together on this thing.

Since baby boomers are such huge consumers, I feel society owes it to them to try to figure out more and more ways for them to feel comfortable. I had a few other ideas, but, well, I just can't remember what they were.

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Lloyd Garver writes a weekly column for SportsLine.com. He has written for many television shows, ranging from "Sesame Street" to "Family Ties" to "Frasier." He has also read many books, some of them in hardcover.