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FAST FOOD FOR THE HUNGRY SOULThe self-help genre is based on applying sound psychological principles to our daily lives—based, in other words, on science. But in recent years it has become its own industry, dislodging itself from that firm anchor. Research-based psychology is being ignored. Psychotherapy is now almost exclusively for those who are "really sick," and self-help serves the masses of "worried well" as a psycho-morality of living, loving, and working. We are all looking for the "good life," but we have become psychologically myopic. The tenets of self-help are now so ubiquitous that they are no longer questioned: Everyone—from politicians and professors, from teachers to talk-show hosts—parrots the platitudes of self-empowerment as if they were every bit as scientifically tested as the laws of physics. But, as I will show, they are not only wrong, they are harmful. The unsubstantiated prescriptions, programs, guarantees, and gurus of self-help stand in the way of our fulfilling our true potential for satisfaction and happiness. I present a "Facts of Life" test to audiences made up of people who voraciously consume self-help books. I’ve collected their answers over the years; I’ve also given the test to researchers in psychology, psychiatry, and medicine so that they can compare their answers to those of the average self-help reader. Their answers are revealing. Try it yourself, and then I’ll explain. The test is only twenty questions; check statements that you think lead to a healthy, happy life: 1. ___ We must never lose hope. 2. ___ We should be forgiving and never judgmental. 3. ___ Childhood experiences determine adult feelings and behavior. 4. ___ True love should be unconditional. 5. ___ A positive attitude heals and a negative attitude can make you sick. 6. ___ Winners never quit and quitters never win. 7. ___ High self-esteem is essential to mental health. 8. ___ Grief counseling is helpful for major life losses. 9. ___ Living in denial is unhealthy. 10. ___ Most people are addicted to something. 11. ___ Being in “recovery” from an addiction is a lifelong process. 12. ___ Regular vigorous exercise is essential for a long life. 13. ___ If you pick the right diet and have enough willpower, you will be the weight you want to be. 14. ___ Most people with heart disease risk factors such as obesity, high blood pressure, and addiction to smoking will eventually have a heart attack or stroke, and most people who have none of the known heart disease risk factors will not have a heart attack or stroke. 15. ___ You have unlimited personal power. If you want something badly enough and put your mind to it, you can achieve it. 16. ___ You can’t love someone else until you first learn to love yourself. 17. ___ Being codependent is a sign of personal weakness. 18. ___ We must get in touch with our feelings and act on them. 19. ___ Feeling guilt and shame is unhealthy. 20. ___ Lasting relationships require a lot of verbal communication. The average score on this test was 18, and nearly half of those who took the test agreed with all twenty statements. But what if the exact opposite of each of these statements were true? This book presents solid research evidence that suggests that this is so. The best score should in fact be 0! And, indeed, twenty researchers from the fields of psychology, psychiatry, and medicine all scored exactly that.