Mommy, Am I Fat?

HowTo Make Sure Your Kids H ave Healthy Attitudes About Food

(CBS) 
Alrod says that the modeling done by parents really influences children. Are you always being self-critical of your body? Do you continually talk about your own need to diet and exercise, complaining that your thighs are too big? Are you continually on a diet and obsessively discussing food issues in front of the children? Do you eat with the children? Alrod says, "What the parent does really influences the child's behavior." Alrod knows of young children who worry that they need to diet or are too fat. And, it's a direct result of what they see their moms doing.

Alrod has the following five tips for parents:

Be A Positive Role Model
Alrod says it's important to not make any changes about weight. It's about promoting a healthy lifestyle in the home. She says, "Parents have an enormous influence on their children's lives. As role models, it is vitally important for parents to talk with their children, not in terms of weight and calories, but in terms of healthy lifestyles. Kids will mimic your behavior. If you sit on the couch watching TV and eating chips all the time, that's what the kids will do."

She adds, "Children learn through observation. If you don't engage in a healthy lifestyle it is more likely they won't either."

Accept Your Child's Body Size
Alrod says, "We are all born with different genetic makeup. Do not try to change a child's body size because of your own expectations of how your child should look. Don't compare your child's body to another's. Never comment on your child's shape or weight. Don't say things like, 'We will love you even if you can't fit through the door sideways,' or 'You would be so much prettier if you lost 10 pounds.' Those things never help."

Communicate And Express Feelings In Your Home
Alrod says, "The home has to be a safe place to communicate. Your children need to know they can express themselves without feeling judged." Children are prone to develop eating disorders as a way to deal with feelings they are not allowed to express. Children who become compulsive eaters learn to use food to help them deal with feelings of anger, hurt, loneliness, abandonment and fear. A child who is unable to express emotions may become an emotional eater. If parents are too involved in their own problems, the child may turn to food for comfort. A parent needs to show interest in the child by taking time to focus on his/her emotions.

Don't Allow Derogatory Comments
Alrod encourages parents to listen to what their children and their friends say. There need to be clear rules in the home that mocking someone because of the way he/she looks or feels is unacceptable. If you hear the kids spending too much time talking about diet or being fat, explain to your children that this isn't a good way to focus their time and it can lead to feeling bad about themselves. Teach your children to be assertive and speak up when their friends start unhealthy conversations.

Help Build Your Child's Self Esteem
Alrod says, "A healthy self-esteem is one of the greatest, yet most difficult, gift you can give a child. Children need to be validated." If children grow up to love and accept their bodies, they must be raised to love and accept themselves. Parents need to provide unconditional love. They need to be supportive and nurturing to help build self-esteem. Children need to know that you are proud of them for who they are, not what they look like.

She adds, "We're always correcting or telling our children what they didn't do, but we need to tell them every day about all the things that they do right."

We need to compliment our children on their positive personality traits to help build good self-esteem.