Young Teens: Oral Sex Safer

Many 14-Year-Olds See It As Abstinence Or Safe Sex In Calif. Survey

(WebMD)  "There is no data on exactly how young you should start — maybe at age 10 or 11, but we have no evidence," Halpern-Felsher says. "But regardless of the child's age, don't hide from the conversation. We do know that parents who have complete conversations with their children about sex have kids who make wiser decisions about these issues."

Halpern-Felsher and Landry say the "big talk" isn't as effective as more frequent, more casual conversations. There are many opportunities for such discussions.

"Instead of just one big talk, you absolutely need ongoing conversations," Halpern-Felsher says. "There are many teachable moments when we parents can discuss issues of sexuality with our children, especially as our culture is awash with sexuality. It is important to seize those moments rather than to let them pass by. It is important to be open and honest and have clear consistent messages with youth. The frequency and openness of conversations is important. It has effects both on delaying sex and on using protection when sex occurs."

These conversations aren't all teens need.

"The bottom line is that youth need accurate information to make responsible decisions about sexual activity — and that includes all forms of sex they might engage in," Landry says. "Unfortunately, in the U.S. we have been pulling back in school-based education to provide that info. Fewer students get information on how to protect themselves."

Sources: Halpern-Felsher, B.L. Pediatrics, April 2005; vol 115: pp 845-851. Remez, L. Family Planning Perspectives, November/December 2000; vol 32: pp 298-304. Bonnie L. Halpern-Felsher, PhD, associate professor of pediatrics, University of California, San Francisco. David Landry, senior research associate, Alan Guttmacher Institute, New York.