What Teens Think...

(CBS)  Friday's installment of "In The Family Circle" may be an eye opener for most parents. Why? Because it featured a look at what your teens want you to know.

The Early Show co-anchor Hannah Storm caught up with a father and son from Brooklyn, N.Y., who know first-hand about the challenges of trying to navigate those difficult teen years.

"I can't stand my early curfew," 13-year-old Eric A. Vaughan says rolling his eyes. "I cannot stand it."

An early curfew is one of the things this new teenager and his father disagree about; another big issue is the computer.

"If I were to turn on the machine right now, he has two screen names," Eric's dad says. "And if I go onto either screen name, there's nothing educational there.

"I feel there is a power struggle all the time," Causewell Vaughan continues. "Whether it's a curfew. Whether it's going to bed. Whether it's doing chores."

Eric says, "We love each other very much, so we really disagree about the sillier things, and not about the bigger things. Silly things like the computer. I like being at the computer, just talking to my friends."

Talking to his friends? Well, Dad seems to think otherwise.

Causewell Vaughan says, "If I were to go on the computer under his screen name and search where he's been, it's probably in some game system to try to figure out how to get to the next level. And you can call my bluff on that, really."

"Call his bluff," Eric pleads. "Please call his bluff. I beg you to call his bluff. Please, I'm begging you."

So The Early Show did, and to Causewell's surprise and satisfaction, his son was actually caught doing the right thing.

"I think teens and parents have trouble communicating," says 17-year-old Dallas Woodburn. "Maybe they could, instead of saying, 'You can't be on the computer, you can't do this,' discuss it, and talk about it. Once the dad talked to his son, he did realize he [the son] had educational things on the computer and wasn't spending all of his time playing games."

Tired of reading articles about teenagers written by adults, Woodburn approached Family Circle magazine with the idea of writing from a teen's point of view.

The January issue of the magazine features her article, "What Your Teen Wants You to Know," giving parents a glimpse into the teenaged mind.

One of the things she mentions in it is that parents don't adhere to the golden rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Woodburn explains, "I think it's important for parents to remember that teens are growing into adults, and a parent's job is to help them grow toward being good adults. I think, at times, they forget and treat them more like kids and lecture to them...instead of talking with them. And so kids pick up on that. They want to be treated like adults; maybe they'll act more maturely if you treat them maturely."

The message is that parents aren't listening, Nanci Clark points out. She is the magazine's deputy editor.

"I think that is the crucial thing," she says. "Parents maybe make time to talk to their teenagers, but what they're doing is lecturing and not listening, and I think listening is really important. They're just not hearing what the kids are saying and not understanding the world that today's teenagers live in."

Woodburn adds, "I think kids have more pressures than maybe the parents themselves had when they were teens, and a heavy academic road and extracurricular sports. Parents forget sometimes and want them to do a chore and forget the kids have things they're committed to."

To make her point, she tells Storm, "If your kids right now asked you to do something, you're in the middle of your work."

Storm, a mother of three, says with a smile, she would probably leave the interview.

Here are some tips The Early Show co-anchor shared with the magazine:

1. You may be busy, but take the time to stop what you are doing and listen to your child.
   
   
2. Try not to get in to power struggles with your children. You can even physically remove yourself from the situation.
   
   
3. Ask your children questions and have them come up with their own answers and solutions.
   
   
4. Find comfortable situations for conversation, perhaps in the car.
   
   
5. Teenagers can have a tough time walking the line between childhood and adulthood. Try to keep that in mind.

On the issue of privacy, Clark says, "Trust, of course, is crucial to any kind of a good productive relationship. I think Dallas would say that parents really must respect their kids' privacy and not go poking and prying around."

But as a parent who survived two teenagers, Clark says, if you happen to find something that makes you suspicious that your kid is in trouble, it would be a barometer that something is really wrong.

Woodburn agrees. And thanks to Family Circle magazine listening to her, this teenager has another column coming out in the March issue.

About Dallas Woodburn:

Dallas Woodburn was recently accepted to Stanford University, where she plans to major in creative writing with a minor in business. She hopes to some day start her own publishing company, with the special aim of giving opportunities to talented young writers searching for their "big break." As a young writer, Woodburn says she understands how difficult it can sometimes be to persuade publishers and editors to give you an opportunity.

She is also the founder of the non-profit organization "Write On!" which encourages kids to read and write. Her Web site, www.zest.net/writeon, features essay contests, reading lists, author interviews, writing prompts, and more.

And over the past four years, she has held an annual Holiday Book Drive with the motto: "Toys get broken, but books last a lifetime."