Memo To IRS: Audit Me
This week's commentary by 60 Minutes II Columnist Steve Hartman.
For many Americans, filling out taxes is a creative endeavor.
Polls show that 20 percent think it's OK to cheat -- a statistic that infuriates my family to no end.
My mother is a part-time tax preparer and a full time goody two shoes: "Bet you anything those are the same people who steal from the office. Yea."
Growing up, she and my father, Mr. By-The-Book, always stressed honesty in taxes. They could have cared less what I did with my life as long as I didn't fudge my Schedule D.
And perhaps because I grew up in this twisted environment, it really frustrates me when I hear people taking deductions that they are not entitled to. For example, I don't want to name any names, but take my cameraman Bob Caccamise. He just told me he writes off his home television set.
"Well I'm always looking for composition and lighting … when I watch TV. I'm always working, always," says Caccamise.
Anyways, the point of all this isn't to get my friends audited, I promise. In fact, my point is I've been arrow straight with my taxes for 25 years now and no one's ever audited me. It's like doing your homework and the teacher not checking it. What's the incentive?
Which is why I went down to the IRS, where they don't allow cameras, to finally get the recognition I duly deserve.
Hartman: I just had a question. How can I get audited?
I'm pretty sure they thought I was medication. I saw about three people working on the problem. They appeared to be puzzled.
I waited one hour – before finally …
Hartman: You can request it? You can request it? Have people done that before? It would have been rare? It would be rare?
That's why tomorrow, along with my tax return, I'll be mailing in this written request for an audit. And no, I will not be deducting the stamp.
Copyright 2007 CBS. All rights reserved. For many Americans, filling out taxes is a creative endeavor.
Polls show that 20 percent think it's OK to cheat -- a statistic that infuriates my family to no end.
My mother is a part-time tax preparer and a full time goody two shoes: "Bet you anything those are the same people who steal from the office. Yea."
Growing up, she and my father, Mr. By-The-Book, always stressed honesty in taxes. They could have cared less what I did with my life as long as I didn't fudge my Schedule D.
And perhaps because I grew up in this twisted environment, it really frustrates me when I hear people taking deductions that they are not entitled to. For example, I don't want to name any names, but take my cameraman Bob Caccamise. He just told me he writes off his home television set.
"Well I'm always looking for composition and lighting … when I watch TV. I'm always working, always," says Caccamise.
Anyways, the point of all this isn't to get my friends audited, I promise. In fact, my point is I've been arrow straight with my taxes for 25 years now and no one's ever audited me. It's like doing your homework and the teacher not checking it. What's the incentive?
Which is why I went down to the IRS, where they don't allow cameras, to finally get the recognition I duly deserve.
Hartman: I just had a question. How can I get audited?
I'm pretty sure they thought I was medication. I saw about three people working on the problem. They appeared to be puzzled.
I waited one hour – before finally …
Hartman: You can request it? You can request it? Have people done that before? It would have been rare? It would be rare?
That's why tomorrow, along with my tax return, I'll be mailing in this written request for an audit. And no, I will not be deducting the stamp.
