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Advertisement | Are Your Teens Sexual Online?What To Do If You Find OutNEW YORK, July 12, 2003 ![]() (AP / CBS) (CBS) When The Saturday Early Show family and adolescence counselor, Mike Riera, opened his email this month, he found one parent who's trying to tame the "gimme's" and another who's troubled by what she saw when she did a little online snooping. The following are the letters he received and his advice: Letter 1: Online Messages Dear Mike, I have been checking out my 13-year-old daughter's Instant Message conversations on the sly. Unfortunately I have read some pretty sexual discussions with her male friends. I know she's not sexually active ... but I'm not sure how to handle this. Should I let her know I'm sneaking behind her back? Response: Ouch! This is one of those privacy things where it's best to avoid the problem to begin with. That is, tell the child ahead of time when you get online services that you'll be randomly checking their email account from time-to-time. This reduces the temptation for this type of going-behind-the-back behavior. But it's too late for that. Come clean with her: You were snooping. You probably should have told her ahead of time and, for that, you are sorry. However, what you saw distressed you. Now let's talk about it. This is the nature of IM'ing that it's easier to have conversations with other kids that you would never have face-to-face. It's also your daughter's exploration of sexuality. So talk with her about it. Better yet, answer some of her questions and talk about the topics she brought up in the email. Also, get her some books on the topic and just put them on her bed, without any discussion. Letter 2: Gratefulness How do I teach my 7-year-old daughter to be grateful? After receiving gifts, she always asks, "Is there anything else?" Response: This is how most 7-year-olds feel inside, whether they say it aloud or not. You have a rather forthright 7-year-old. There are two ways to approach this:
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