February 11, 2009 8:43 PM
- Text
All Mixed Up
Lobsterman Kendall Delano sands last year's paint off lobster buoys he's painting in his workshop in Friendship, Maine, Thursday, May 10, 2012. Two lobster boats were recently sunk by vandals on Friendship, bringing back memories of territorial tensions in the industry that led to a shooting two summers ago. (AP Photo/Robert F. Bukaty) (Robert F. Bukaty)
A weekly commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney. It was originally broadcast on April 27, 2003.
Obviously, I like to eat but I have some rules. I don't mix flavors. I like vanilla ice cream and I like chocolate ice cream but I don't put them in a dish together.
When I was a kid, I liked peanut butter and I liked jelly but I didn't like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Friday, I went to the deli across the street and took a sandwich and a Coke back here to the office. I opened the Coke, took a gulp and almost spewed it over the papers on my desk. I looked at the label and it said Vanilla Coke. Well, I like Coke and I like vanilla but I hated Vanilla Coke.
Everything's got something else in it.
Raspberry Ginger Crisp, Cranberry Almond Crunch.
Cherry Vanilla Dream with Pecans and Cashews. How about a Cherry Vanilla Nightmare?
Orange cappuccino. They have hazelnut-flavored coffee. What's wrong with coffee-flavored coffee?
Fat-Free Hazelnut Coffeemate. The only thing I can figure is, hazelnuts are cheaper than coffee beans so that's what they're putting in with the coffee to stretch it out.
They take perfectly good water and louse it up with kiwi and strawberry. This one says Tangerine-Pineapple-Guava. I'd have to be dying of thirst on a desert island.
Sour cream and onion potato chips. I guess the sour cream and onions aren't even real. It says it's "artificially flavored."
A can of raspberry-flavored tea says "More tea taste." So what's the raspberry all about, if they want it to taste like tea?
There's a salt-free rice cake that's also fat-free. A fat-free topping. I've always been interested in the fact that when they don't put something in a product, it costs more. If it doesn't have fat, salt, sugar or any calories, it's more expensive.
Fat-free poppyseed dressing. I always wonder what they do with all the fat they take out of these things. Do they just throw it away?
Honey is very big in everything, now. Honey Nut Cheerios, Planters Honey Roasted Peanuts, Honey Mustard Pretzel Dip. Honey doesn't go with either peanuts or mustard. But I have an idea that honey is cheap because bees are making it faster than we're eating it.
You know, maybe I'll retire and go into business. I'd make an artificially flavored, fat-free, honey-coated hazelnut hot dog. You could have it with no-cal French vanilla or chocolate-flavored mustard.
Written By Andy Rooney
Copyright 2009 CBS. All rights reserved. Obviously, I like to eat but I have some rules. I don't mix flavors. I like vanilla ice cream and I like chocolate ice cream but I don't put them in a dish together.
When I was a kid, I liked peanut butter and I liked jelly but I didn't like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Friday, I went to the deli across the street and took a sandwich and a Coke back here to the office. I opened the Coke, took a gulp and almost spewed it over the papers on my desk. I looked at the label and it said Vanilla Coke. Well, I like Coke and I like vanilla but I hated Vanilla Coke.
Everything's got something else in it.
Raspberry Ginger Crisp, Cranberry Almond Crunch.
Cherry Vanilla Dream with Pecans and Cashews. How about a Cherry Vanilla Nightmare?
Orange cappuccino. They have hazelnut-flavored coffee. What's wrong with coffee-flavored coffee?
Fat-Free Hazelnut Coffeemate. The only thing I can figure is, hazelnuts are cheaper than coffee beans so that's what they're putting in with the coffee to stretch it out.
They take perfectly good water and louse it up with kiwi and strawberry. This one says Tangerine-Pineapple-Guava. I'd have to be dying of thirst on a desert island.
Sour cream and onion potato chips. I guess the sour cream and onions aren't even real. It says it's "artificially flavored."
A can of raspberry-flavored tea says "More tea taste." So what's the raspberry all about, if they want it to taste like tea?
There's a salt-free rice cake that's also fat-free. A fat-free topping. I've always been interested in the fact that when they don't put something in a product, it costs more. If it doesn't have fat, salt, sugar or any calories, it's more expensive.
Fat-free poppyseed dressing. I always wonder what they do with all the fat they take out of these things. Do they just throw it away?
Honey is very big in everything, now. Honey Nut Cheerios, Planters Honey Roasted Peanuts, Honey Mustard Pretzel Dip. Honey doesn't go with either peanuts or mustard. But I have an idea that honey is cheap because bees are making it faster than we're eating it.
You know, maybe I'll retire and go into business. I'd make an artificially flavored, fat-free, honey-coated hazelnut hot dog. You could have it with no-cal French vanilla or chocolate-flavored mustard.
Written By Andy Rooney
17 Comments +
Popular Now in 60 Minutes
- A Face in the Crowd: Say goodbye to anonymity
- Michael Jackson's lucrative legacy
- North Korean prisoner escaped after 23 brutal years
- North Korean prisoner escaped after 23 brutal years
- A Face in the Crowd, Three Generations of Punishment, Michael Jackson
- Hitler's Secret Archive
- Preview: Killing Bin Laden
- A Long and Dangerous Journey, Lion Kings, Taylor Swift
- MJ's "manifesto," penned in 1979
- Apple, Ireland, and the corporate tax rate problem
- Bill Gates 2.0
- Afghan children on a long and perilous journey
- Taylor Swift: A young singer's meteoric rise
- Bill Gates on Steve Jobs: We grew up together
- Becoming human: Shin's new life
- Show Schedule
