Who's Got The Power?

A relative weeps upon inspecting the list of passengers on board a missing Russian airplane at Halim Perdanakusuma Airport in Jakarta, Indonesia, Wednesday, May 9, 2012. The Russian-made Sukhoi Superjet-100 carrying 46 people lost contact with air controllers while flying over mountains during a demonstration flight Wednesday in western Indonesia, officials said. (AP Photo/Tatan Syuflana) / Tatan Syuflana

Have you found yourself saying "these kids are driving me crazy!" a lot lately? Constantly arguing with you, or not listening to what you say? If your children are in-between summer camps, or just hanging around this summer, you may be experiencing the push and pull between parent and child that often exists from the time the child is a toddler. But these little problems can be intensified when kids are bored and without the structure of school.

But there are ways you can turn power struggles around and lay a foundation of respect that will last with your child into adulthood.

Dr. Russell Hoffmann is Director of the Department of Psychology at St. Louis Children's Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri. He says power struggles exist because parent and child don't share the same goal. The "kiss of death" for a parent can be trying to assert dominance over the child and as a result loosing control as the parent because all you're doing is yelling and threatening.

Dr. Hoffman says you have to take a deep breath and then analyze the situation and determine what further intervention is needed. For example, what is the purpose of the child's behavior and what is the purpose of the parent's response? Children behave in ways to get their needs met. When their needs aren't met, they up the ante by continuing to act out and the end result is a bad relationship habit.

Teaching them how to make good decisions they can learn from makes them more productive adults and better problem solvers!