A Car To Drive You Mad

One Button Controls 700 Functions

(CBS)  A weekly commentary by 60 Minutes II Correspondent Charles Grodin:

---

I've been driving the same car for quite a while now, and lately I've been thinking of getting a new one.

I went to look at a Lexus. Frankly, the navigational system that so many new cars have made me a little uneasy. I had to sign a disclaimer to drive it.

“Saying that when you are driving this vehicle ideally you should not be looking at the screen it should be your passenger who is guiding you,” said the car’s publicist.

“What if there isn't anybody sitting there with you, you you would?” I asked.

“Well I guess you would probably wait til you hit a traffic light,” he said.

“Ideally right, yeah,” I said.

When the New York International Auto Show was here recently, I went over to take a look. They had every kind of car I could imagine and some I couldn't.

This Hummer truck had some interesting new technology.

“We have OnStar free for a year where you are linked to a satellite,” the person presenting the car said. “Say you lock your keys in your car; you call up InStar, they'll unlock your car by satellite anywhere in the whole United States.”

“They'll unlock my car by satellite,” I said.

“Unlock your car by satellite,” he said.

This Mitsubishi car of the future had something I never even would have thought of. The car had a built-in shower.

The shower got me to thinking about other possibilities for a car.

“What about a kitchenette? Are they thinking about that at all,” I asked the presenter.

“They're thinking about that, sure,” he said.

The president of the Italian motor company that makes Ferraris and Maseratis had this to say about the transmission on their new Maserati.

“Well the suspension system through computers is linked to the gear box,” he said. “So gear changes will be changed, if you like, when the gears change and how the suspension reacts depending on your driving style.”

This BMW had something that was meant to be really special.

"The I drive essentially is, we feel is, the wave of the future for automotive technology. It allows us to consolidate virtually over 700 different functions in one simple button,” said the person who was publicizing the car.

Now what? I mean with that button with 700 different functions, I would be terrified to touch that button.

I ended up being intimidated by all the new technology, so I am still driving my nine-year-old car. It may not have the latest in technology - it doesn't have a CD player or even a cup holder- but at least I understand it.