A Guest Again? (Part Three)

(CBS)
--Andy Rooney, speaking about Don Imus' radio program in the Sun-Sentinel.
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A lot of people have written to ask if I really wrote some things on the Internet that have my name on them. The answer, briefly, is no I didn’t.Seeing as Rooney debunked these false commentaries over a year ago, in front of a nationally televised audience, it is curious that the AP felt that this was a worthwhile story today. Maybe what with Kramergate, as well as another race-related scandal, this one involving a different famous Andy, someone felt that the time was right to trot out this small piece of non-news. In any event: Andy Rooney, still not a bigot. Tell the kids.
A saccharine collection of comments called ‘ANDY ROONEY ON OLDER WOMEN’ has had wide circulation. I was pleased by how many people wrote to say they didn't believe I wrote it.
There's a collection of racist and sexist remarks on the Internet under a picture of me with the caption ‘ANDY ROONEY SAID ON 60 MINUTES.’ If I could find the person who did write it using my name I would sue him.
"Downtown has gone out of style in a lot of American cities. It's moved to the outskirts of town.One side note from last night's segment: At one point, Rooney said that he didn't know Pittsburgh is "on an island, like New York City." As it turns out, that's not exactly true – as you can see from this map, while the city is surrounded by rivers on three sides, it's no island.
I've been to Des Moines, Iowa several times. I don’t know why they put "Des" in front of 'Moines.' They call it 'DE MOINES.' 'Moines' means 'monks' in French.
A lot of interesting city names begin with T. Tacoma, Tucson, Tulsa, Tuscaloosa, Terre Haute, Toledo, Topeka.
I only like to go to cities I've been to before so I'll probably never get to Fargo, North Dakota."



I am a writer. I write for a living.
The news is not being reported in any comprehensive way by CBS News. The world cannot be covered in a very short half hour.
I got fired.
All the other "60 Minutes" correspondents use a car service so I'd call one of them for the number. I'd use a pencil clutched in my palm instead of a broken finger to dial. I have never used a car service or run out of gas and do not anticipate either happening.
I'd probably be out of work. I do a lot of woodworking, making furniture, but I'm not really good enough to make a living at it. I couldn't build a house because I don't do plumbing or electrical work. I wouldn't be a bank clerk, a toll collector, a school crossing guard, a White House press secretary.


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