What I Like And Dislike

<B>Andy Rooney</b> Defends His Reputation For Being Negative

A weekly commentary by CBS News Correspondent Andy Rooney.
I've acquired a reputation for being negative - you know, not liking things. I hate that.

There are a lot of things I don't like. But there are a lot I do like, too.

I thought I'd run through some of them.

I love to go to bed at night and I love to get up in the morning. I don't like it when I fall asleep in front of the television set in the evening and can't sleep at night.

I love a short nap. I don't like wasting eight hours in bed at night.

I like a shower in the morning that's a little warmer than what's good for me. I don't like a shower in a bathtub.

I like to fill my tank with gas and drive away with the arrow on the gauge pointing to FULL. I hate it when $20 isn't enough to fill my gas tank.

I like leaves on the trees in summer. I don't like collecting leaves after they've dropped from their trees. I'd rather have them blow free.

I like fresh-squeezed orange juice, rice with chicken gravy, hard rolls, well-done bacon, rare salmon, Perrier and Haagen Dasz coffee ice cream. I dislike fat-free milk, veal, margarine, Fig Newtons, venison, tapioca pudding and Wonder Bread. We are what we eat.

I like rainy days, sunny days, cold weather and deep snows. I don't like hot weather, fog or full moons because I don't sleep well when there is one.

I like Christmas, the Fourth of July, Halloween, Labor Day and Thanksgiving. Bon appétit. I am not much interested in Easter, Valentine's Day, Columbus Day, St. Patrick's Day or the birthdays of our presidents.

I like finding money I'd forgotten in an old coat. I dislike $20 bills, pennies and the one-dollar coins that look too much like quarters.

I like my country better than any other. I don't like Americans who keep saying how great their country is, as if they made it that way.

I like to go to the store and fill a shopping cart with good things. I don't like standing in line, waiting to pay for it.

I like a good movie. I don't like waiting 15 minutes for the movie to start while they tell me about the next four movies they'll be showing at the theater.

I like it when the Giants win. I'm sad or angry when they lose, which is usually.

I like it when I'm finished.

Written By Andy Rooney

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