The Joy Of Kitchen Tools

<B>Andy Rooney</B> On Cooking Gadgets That We Never Use

I'm a sucker for any new kitchen tool. Over the years, I've filled our kitchen drawers with gadgets we never use.

This tool seemed like a good idea at the time. It's for grating Parmesan cheese. Well, I buy cheese already grated.

This is for slicing bread. Never use it, and I can't believe how many things I don't need one of that I have two of -- like another bread slicer.

I only have one of these, fortunately. It's for pressing the oil out of a can of tuna fish.

I bought this for making ravioli. You lay the dough here, fill it and press it closed. Two of those. I don't use either one. If we want ravioli, we go to an Italian restaurant, and I bet they don't use one of those either.

There are all sorts of nutcrackers in our kitchen drawers. You'd crack a pecan or a walnut with this I guess. If that doesn't work, we have two of these.

I haven't cracked a nut in years but here we have three nutcrackers. This is a nice one, but again I don't know what it does but again, we have two.

This is an eight-pound cast iron clunker for making corn sticks.

Some of you probably know what this is -- it's for dipping honey out of a jar. Why didn't the bees think of that?

You put a tomato in here if you want to slice it. If I ever want to slice a tomato, I'll be ready.

In the past few years, I've bought three can openers and none of them work. Look at this. I always end up going back to the old manual opener. Or one of these, semi-automatic.

I'm not sure about this. Maybe it's for fishing a boiled egg out of hot water.

Now, here's something I do use. It's my favorite knife. It looks too big, but I have a theory about knives. It's better to use a big knife even for a small job. This will carve a turkey or cut an olive in half.

I buy anything that says it helps open jars, even if it doesn't.

Two of these for cutting sponge cake. Harry Truman was president the last time I cut a sponge cake.

This is for measuring how much pasta to cook. I guess at it and usually cook too much.

A pickle-picker. Lemon rind scrapper, melon baller, cookie cutter.

This picks the stem off strawberries. I'll keep that. At least it doesn't take up much room in the drawer.

To tell you the truth, I don't know whether to throw all these tools away or put them back in the kitchen drawers. I mean, you never know you're going to need one of these things.
Written By Andy Rooney
  • Rebecca Leung

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