The Acceptance Speech is an Oscar winner's moment in the spotlight ... which is why every word counts, in the opinion of our contributor Faith Salie:
Wow, um, thank you! Okay, I only have a few moments. First, I want to thank CBS for giving me this time, but this commentary really belongs to you, the viewer, so thank you so much for listening.
Tonight will be a most special night for Oscar nominees, particularly those who'll take the stage to receive a gold guy.
And right now, perhaps some of you glittery folks are being sprayed to match the statue you hope to hold and are thinking about your acceptance speeches, and I'd like to ask you this: Please, no potty mouth.
At recent awards shows, huge stars have used the F-word.
Sandy Bullock, you're America's Sweetheart! Perhaps you could use a little more gravity?
And Bradley Cooper? Did the "American Hustle" perm solution go to your head?
Jacqueline Bisset fired off the S-word at the Golden Globes, and even Rita Moreno, the legend, dropped an F-bomb!
I just feel disappointed when someone who's being honored for expressing the human condition can't do it in grateful, multi-syllabic words.
Now, believe me, I like a good four-letter word as much as the next broad. However, there is a time and a place -- and the time is probably not in front of 40 million people, and the place is not as you are being awarded for your extraordinariness.
Please don't confuse emotional spontaneity with unfiltered delivery.
You can be memorable without being crass. Emotion doesn't preclude eloquence.
Frankly, even lack of eloquence is moving, as when Marion Cottillard couldn't find the words when accepting her Best Actress Oscar, but how can we be moved by words that need to be bleeped?
And please don't pretend that you haven't thought about what you'll say if you win, at least for a second. If you're genuinely shocked speechless? That's charming, but statistically naive -- everybody's got a 20 percent chance, even Meryl Streep!
Robotically reading from note cards may be even worse. You're actors! Can't you at least fake some breathless surprise?
Movie stars should not be above watching their mouths. After all, we have to pay to watch your mouths.
For tonight, how about the F word being "filter"? Actors, do yourselves proud: show the world that when you don't have a script, you still have something meaningful to say.
[music cue] Oh, they're telling me to wrap it up. Fu--nny how time flies! Thank you for listening, andthankstomyhusbandandmyagent!
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