According to CBS Charlotte, that's about how the conversation went when a man in Spartanburg, S.C. called the county sheriff after noticing his DVD player was missing, and the "blue" DVD that was in it, too.
The station says Gregory Ratliff reported a break-in, and told deputies his home was cluttered with valuables, but only those were the only items missing.
He reportedly said he bought the DVD player at a garage sale and it didn't mean much to him - as opposed to that X-rated DVD.
Ratliff also told authorities all his doors and windows were locked and he had the only key, and that he has a girlfriend living with him but hadn't seen her all day.
The sheriff said there was no sign of forced entry, CBS Charlotte reported.
Ratliff estimated the value of the missing DVD player at $20.00 and the disc at $8 (oh, did we mention it was his favorite?)