No one was safe when Ricky Gervais opened the Golden Globe Awards with a scathing monologue.
The first thing he said was: "Shut up, you disgusting pill-popping sexual-deviant scum. I want to go to do this monologue and go into hiding, okay?"
Then came his first current events joke of the night: "Not even Sean Penn will find me." It was a reference to Penn's secret meeting with the world's most wanted drug lord, Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman.
One of Gervais' first victims was the hosting network of the Golden Globes, NBC. Gervais said the network was impartial and the best one to host the awards show. Why?
"That's because they're the only network with zero nominations," he said. Ouch!
Then he told everyone to relax: "I've changed," he promised. "Not as much as Bruce Jenner, now Caitlyn Jenner, of course," as the audience gasped.
Gervais extolled Jenner for doing so much for transgender rights before cracking, "She didn't do a lot for women drivers, though."
The audience gasped again when Gervais made a pedophile joke about "Spotlight:" "Roman Polanski called it the best movie ever."
Jennifer Lawrence also got a dig when he praised her for speaking out about pay inequality.
"How the hell can a 25-year-old live on $52 million?" he wondered before asking why Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill were chosen to be presenters since they never won any Golden Globes.
Tatum and Hill took the stage to present Best Supporting Actress, but first, Hill pretended to be a bear from "The Revenant." He wore a plush bear head as a hat and wore a green ribbon for "honey awareness," as he said, before the "Jump Street" comedy duo announced that Kate Winslet was the winner of the award.
Winslet's acceptance speech opened with a shoutout to her co-nominees.
"What an incredible year for women in film," she said. "These categories are so crowded and crammed with incredible skill and integrity and I feel prouder than ever this year to be included."
Maura Tierney won her first Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress in a TV series her role as Helen Solloway in "The Affair;" it was also her first nomination.
Andy Samberg presented Best Actress in a TV series, and made the first Bill Cosby joke of the night when he said, "Rob Lowe fell off the balcony in the middle of Cosby's surprise appearance and full confession." The camera panned to Lowe, who dropped his jaw for comedic effect.
"Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" star Rachel Bloom won the award and couldn't be more excited. "Oh my God, Oh my God, oh! All right guys, guys I'm just going to talk to you as people and pretend I'm not on TV. We almost didn't have a show. We made a pilot and took it to every network and got rejected!" as she teared up and thanked the CW for picking up the show.
Taraji P. Henson and Terence Howard of "Empire" presented Best Television Series -- Musical or Comedy, which went to "Mozart in the Jungle." The show's cast, which included Gael Garcia Bernal and Jason Schwartzman, came on stage to accept the award together.
Lorenzo Soria, president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, took the stage to address the audience and said that Hollywood has the "influence to shine on violence on injustice and intolerance. In doing so we can make our world a more hopeful and a better place."
Gervais returned to welcome Matt Damon on stage to talk about "The Martian," and made everyone cringe when he called Damon "the only person Ben Affleck hasn't been unfaithful to." Damon looked visibly uncomfortable as he said, "Thank you. Um, ha."
"Wolf Hall" took home the prize for Best Television Limited Series.
Amber Heard and Jaimie Alexander presented Best Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries, which went to Oscar Issac for "Show Me a Hero." It was the second nomination and first win for the actor, who has been having a big moment with "Star Wars: The Force Awakens."
Jason Statham, Melissa McCarthy and director Paul Feig of "Spy" appeared on stage to talk about the movie, and Statham claimed that he was the star of the movie and played the main character, Susan Cooper.
"Hey, um Jason, no offense, but I think I played Susan Cooper," said McCarthy.
"I'm sorry," said Statham. "You're right. You were great in my movie."
Glam duo Lady Gaga and fashion designer/filmmaker Tom Ford presented the award for Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television, which went to Christian Slater for his role in "Mr. Robot." It was the veteran actor's first nomination and win at the Globes.
Lily James and Jamie Foxx presented Best Original Score. Foxx's daughter, Corinne, is Miss Golden Globe this year.
Foxx made a Steve Harvey joke before he announced the winner: "And the winner is 'Straight Outta Compton,'" he said, though the movie was not nominated. "Oh, I'm sorry, folks, it's right here on the card. I take full responsibility ... It's right here on the card," before he pretended to leave the stage.
It was a dig at Harvey's notorious blunder at the Miss Universe pageant last month -- Harvey announced Miss Colombia as the pageant's winner, when it was actually Miss Philippines.
Instead, Ennio Morricone won the award for "The Hateful Eight," and Quentin Tarantino took the stage to accept the award on his behalf.
Tarantino said of Morricone, "He's, as far as I'm concerned, my favorite composer ... I'm not talking about movie composer -- that's ghetto. I'm talking about Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert."
Foxx returned to the stage to introduce Miss Golden Globe to the audience.
The proud papa said, "This young lady has never asked me for anything ... This young lady has never been in trouble. This young lady deserves this moment. she was here when she was 10 years old ... she is Miss Golden Globe. This young lady's name is Miss Corinne Fox."
America Ferrera and Eva Longoria took the stage together to present Best Actor in a TV Series -- Drama, and made a joke about the time the Golden Globes' Twitter account mistook Ferrera for Gina Rodriguez. "And neither one of us are Rosario Dawson," said Longoria. They announced that Jon Hamm won the award for Best Actor - TV Series, Drama and the actor strangely name-checked the 1990s pop band Chumbawumba during his acceptance speech.
Then, pals Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer teamed up to talk about each others' movies, "Joy" and "Trainwreck." Schumer unsuccessfully tried to give herself the nickname, "A. Schu," but was shot down by her friend J. Law.
Later, Amy Adams presented Best Actor in a Motion Picture -- Musical or Comedy, which went to Matt Damon for "The Martian."
"I've made a lot of movies that people just didn't go see," Damon said as the audience laughed. Damon made sure to thank his director. "So to make one everyone enjoyed this much, we had this incredible crew and incredible cast and it all came down to Ridley Scott."
Much buzzed-about "Inside Out" won for Best Motion Picture -- Animated, and co-creator Jonas Rivera said, "Making this movie has been the joy of our lives."
The stage got a hottie overload when Brad Pitt and Ryan Gosling took the stage to discuss "The Big Short," though Gosling seemed salty when he said he thought he was going to introduce his movie alone.
Patricia Arquette and J.K. Simmons presented Best Supporting Actor, which went to Sylvester Stallone for his reprisal of his Rocky character in "Creed." Naturally, the "Rocky" theme song was played as Stallone stepped up to receive his award.
The audience laughed when presenters Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell wore 2016 glasses on stage, and Ferrell got upset.
"Can you stop the laughter? ... You people are coming off as real buttholes," said the comedian.
They announced Aaron Sorkin as the winner for Best Screenplay for "Steve Jobs." He gave a shoutout to his daughter but warned her, "Boys are bad."
"Supergirl" star Melissa Benoist and Grant Gustin of "The Flash" presented Best Actor in a TV Series, Comedy or Musical. The camera panned to contestant Aziz Ansari, who was reading a book titled, "Losing to Jeffrey Tambor with Dignity." Tambor was nominated in the same category for his role as a transgender woman in the Amazon series "Transparent." But it turned out Ansari was wrong -- Garcia Bernal won the Globe instead for his role in "Mozart in the Jungle."
Presenters Helen Mirren and Gerard Butler implored viewers to watch more foreign films as they presented Best Motion Picture -- Foreign Language. "They have subtitles," Mirren said as a friendly reminder before announcing Hungarian World War II film "Son of Saul" as the winner.
Funnymen and fellow shorties Ken Jeong and Kevin Hart came on stage and they asked the mic to be adjusted for their diminutive heights. Hart claimed to have asked Jeong for help when he sprained his ankle on set and said that Jeong said, "Laughter is the best medicine." Jeong responded, "No, I said medicine is the best medicine."
They presented Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television, which went to Lady Gaga for her role as the Countess in "American Horror Story: Hotel." The show was Gaga's debut as a TV actress. "I feel like Cher in 'Moonstruck,'" she said as she accepted the award.
Katy Perry presented Best Original Song -- Motion Picture, which went to "Writing's on the Wall" from "Spectre." Both Sam Smith and Jimmy Napes took the stage to accept the award.
The show got a little tense, albeit hilariously so, when Gervais introduced Mel Gibson, whose problems with alcohol have been well-documented.
"I'd rather have a drink with him than have a drink with Bill Cosby in his hotel room tonight," said the host.
Gibson shot back and said, "I love seeing Ricky every three years because it reminds me to get a colonoscopy."
Gervais walked back on stage and the two bantered in an almost entirely censored exchange before Gibson introduced the promo for "Mad Max: Fury Road."
Olivia Wilde, who wore a sequined dress, and John Krasinski presented the award for Best TV Series -- Drama to "Mr. Robot."
Tom Hanks presented the Cecil B. DeMille award to Denzel Washington, and said of the actor, "A single man can define an artist who is a peer and equal of all the legends and if Washington doesn't ring out loud enough, then let that first name carry all the name. That name is Denzel." The awards ceremony then showed a montage of Washington's roles; the actor has won three Golden Globe Awards and two Oscars.
Washington got on stage with his whole family except for one son, Malcolm, who Washington said was working on his thesis. His wife asked him if he wanted his glasses, but he claimed he could read without them. Washington then later admitted he needed his glasses, but it turned out that his wife didn't have them, or her own glasses. Nevertheless, Washington thanked his film industry colleagues, especially the ones who helped him get his start.
Chris Evans introduced a promo for "Spotlight," and then Gervais introduced "the most respected actor in the room -- which isn't saying much."
That actor was Morgan Freeman, who presented Best Director. The award went to Alejandro Inarritu, who won for the film "The Revenant." Inarritu did not win Best Director last year, but he was nominated for the honor, as was "Birdman," in 2015. He thanked the movie's Leonardo DiCaprio and said, "You are the hero ... It was the best experience of my life."
Sophia Bush and Kate Boswoth presented Best Actress in a TV Series -- Drama, which went to Taraji P. Henson for her role as Cookie in "Empire." Everyone won when Henson won; the actress handed out cookies to several people as she walked up to the stage. Henson nearly tripped as the train of her dress got caught, but she caught herself in time and jumped on stage as perhaps the sassiest Globe winner that night.
As she was in the midst of her acceptance speech, she looked up and snapped, "Please wrap? Wait a minute. I waited 20 years for this. You gonna wait."
Michael Keaton presented Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture ‑‑ Musical or Comedy, which went to Jennifer Lawrence. She got a big squeeze from her friend Amy Schumer before she got on stage and delivered an impassioned "thank you" to director David O. Russell as she accepted the award.
Maggie Gyllenhaal introduced a promo for the movie "Room;" the film was nominated for Best Screenplay, and star Brie Larson is up for Best Actress.
Leonardo DiCaprio's friend Tobey Maguire introduced "The Revenant" before Jim Carrey took the stage to present Best Motion Picture -- Comedy and reminded the audience full of celebrities that in the grand scheme of the universe, the awards were meaningless, though he acknowledge that in his world, "These are huge."
After Carrey's speech about the universe, it was perhaps only appropriate that "The Martian" won Best Picture. Director Ridley Scott gave a long acceptance speech that the show attempted to cut off, and Scott oddly gave a shoutout to a completely different film: "'Star Wars' was great," he said before he left the stage.
Eddie Redmayne, star of "The Danish Girl, presented Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture ‑‑ Drama. The award went to Brie Larson for "Room." She thanked her co-star, 9-year-old Jacob Tremblay, who was in the audience. Among others, Larson also thanked her boyfriend, Alex Greenwald, who mouthed, "I love you" to her from his seat.
Julianne Moore presented Best Actor in a Motion Picture -- Drama, which went to Leonardo DiCaprio for "The Revenant."
DiCaprio said of the film, "This was about trust and there's no one we trust more than our director Alejandro Inarritu ... The depths we have achieved with the entire crew and what we went through is unfathomable."
Harrison Ford presented Best Motion Picture -- Drama, which went to "The Revenant," making the film undoubtedly the night's big winner. The film won three of its four nominations.