The Slammin' Swede In Bandon
Be careful, all of you golfers headed to the Oregon coast this holiday weekend to try out the magnificent Bandon Dunes golf complex. My old golfing partner Sten “The Slammin’ Swede” Olsen and his sidekick, Nete “The Danish Destroyer” Leith are going to be camped out down there for four days, and they don’t cotton to slowpokes or anyone who wants to play through.
If you do ask them to play through, they’ll just look at each other, shake their heads in unison and say, “No.” Because they know deep in their hearts that nobody golfs as fast as they do.
Their idea of a relaxing Thanksgiving is to get up at the crack of dawn, put on an extra layer of polar fleece and be the first ones to tee off on the Bandon Dunes course that runs along the top of cliffs overlooking the Pacific. If it’s raining, sleeting or the wind is howling so fiercely that Nete has to put lead insoles in her shoes to stay attached to the Earth, they’ll still be out there.
Three hours later they’ll fan the aromas from a turkey sandwich at the clubhouse past their noses for sustenance and then head right back out for eighteen more holes at the equally wonderful Pacific Dunes course. Around four o’clock they’ll both eat a hard biscuit, perhaps dipped in coffee since it’s a holiday, and then head to the new Bandon Trails course for as many holes as they can get in before it’s too dark to see Sten miss yet another four-foot putt for par.
Then they’ll do it again on Friday and Saturday. On Sunday, too, but that day they’ll skip the biscuit and coffee and get back into their car and drive all the way back to Seattle. If you think you’re a dedicated golfer, then I suggest you stand back, remove your cap as a sign of respect, and let The Slammin’ Swede play through. And pass the pumpkin pie. Fore!
If you do ask them to play through, they’ll just look at each other, shake their heads in unison and say, “No.” Because they know deep in their hearts that nobody golfs as fast as they do.
Their idea of a relaxing Thanksgiving is to get up at the crack of dawn, put on an extra layer of polar fleece and be the first ones to tee off on the Bandon Dunes course that runs along the top of cliffs overlooking the Pacific. If it’s raining, sleeting or the wind is howling so fiercely that Nete has to put lead insoles in her shoes to stay attached to the Earth, they’ll still be out there.
Three hours later they’ll fan the aromas from a turkey sandwich at the clubhouse past their noses for sustenance and then head right back out for eighteen more holes at the equally wonderful Pacific Dunes course. Around four o’clock they’ll both eat a hard biscuit, perhaps dipped in coffee since it’s a holiday, and then head to the new Bandon Trails course for as many holes as they can get in before it’s too dark to see Sten miss yet another four-foot putt for par.
Then they’ll do it again on Friday and Saturday. On Sunday, too, but that day they’ll skip the biscuit and coffee and get back into their car and drive all the way back to Seattle. If you think you’re a dedicated golfer, then I suggest you stand back, remove your cap as a sign of respect, and let The Slammin’ Swede play through. And pass the pumpkin pie. Fore!
