Comments on: "Horrors" Found In Tween, Teen Dating

Survey Uncovers Significant Levels Of Physical, Verbal Abuse; Sex At Young Ages; Many Parents In The Dark

[lilpeach8]

Plus women need to be put in their place. Too many chicks are buying into the false idea they are equal, they really think the whole *** & the city thing is real life, try real ***-ish!

Sometimes women need a good slap, I''''d say 99% like it. Most like getting a spank during ***, same thing. They are so emotional, you just have to snap them out of their own little minds. They will love you for it later.


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Posted by darkmeat4 at 02:55 PM


wow so abuse is acceptable now?

Just what is considered dating these days? My 15 year old son and his 11 year old sister meet up with a bunch of friends and go to the movies (we live in Small Town, USA). We take them, and pick them up as well and drive many of their friends home. Sometimes we stay for the movie, other times we don''t.

A group of kids meet at the local skating rink on Friday nights. Because you meet a girl/boy there, does that mean you''re dating?

My 15 year old son is head over heels for a 14 year old girl. They go to the movies with other friends and they visit each other''s houses during the day time. She comes with us to dinner or to family gatherings.

They are never left alone. In the mind of concorde5, this is taboo. In my mind, as long as I''m supervising them, chaperoning them, etc. what''s wrong with this type of "dating" at 15?

We have diligently discussed birth control and the need for abstinance for a few more years. In my view, as long as I allow the two of them to spend time together with our approval and supervision, the less likely they will feel the need to be sneaky in whatever they do.

If that''s being my son''s "friend" instead of his "parent", then I disagree vehemently.

[neo267-2009]

How come we teach *** education - but we don''t teach relationships?

[sistatee-2009]

Anything else is wreckless parenting.

Posted by concorde5 at 02:42 PM : Jul 08, 2008

That''s good. Especially when they start driving.

[concorde5]

parents shouldn''t let a 14 year old date. Period. Anything else is wreckless parenting.

Be a parent to your child, not a friend. Your children have plenty of friends, they need parents!

I am always amazed at parents, usually single women, who let their 14 year old daughters have boyfriends spend the night and let their daughter go out with boys. 14 is not old enough. I wouldn''t let my daughter go out on a date until she is 17.

Bottom line...Be a parent, not a friend.

[weeza3]

given the prevalence of non-parenting going on these days, and the fact that a lot of parents have the same alcohol and drug problems as their children, it is no wonder that we are living in a society of unaccountability and violence.

when parents are supportive of their children, and offer encouragement, it builds self-esteem and increases the probability that they will become self-sufficient, productive members of society.

our children also have to be allowed to fail sometimes and know that it is o.k. this also builds self-esteem.

parents who treat their children disparagingly and with disdain and discourage them, and who are not supportive of them, will probably produce the sarcastic, bitter bullies with a propensity to cruelty and violence that are at the center of this discussion.

[naucoming4u]

Maybe, but I think of them as children being used as accessories.

Posted by barbaraf4 at 02:09 PM : Jul 08, 2008
..........

That is also an accurate observation.

"Accessories" is a good description. Certainly, what better way to "accessorize" an SUV than with child car seats... and children sitting in them!

[naucoming4u]

Trophy Children (part 2)

A sure sign of "parents" with trophy children, (other than the fact that they have more than just one... when one was far more than the "parents" could already handle), is that these children are usually left...

...left on what these "parents" would consider, though not publicly admit, as autopilot. Almost like a household pet, these trophy children are merely fed, clothed, and sheltered, and chauffeured to and fro.

Trophy children mainly suffer from passive parenting. Which is quite the opposite from many posters on this board who sound as if they are clearly pro-active parents. Reading some of the posts from those before me, here, is comforting to know that there are still some real parents left in this country/world!

[barbaraf4]

"TROPHY CHILDREN!" Posted by NAUcoming4U
~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe, but I think of them as children being used as accessories.

[Syndicate]

The picture with this article is sexist.

[barbaraf4]

From the day she is born, nurture your daughter''s self esteem. Make her proud of her accomplishments, proud of her body and secure that she doesn''t have to stay in an abusive relationship if she finds herself in one. Better yet, teach her that she does not have to "settle" for less than the best.

[naucoming4u]

Trophy Children.

A new term that should be used often, because it is reflected in the way modern "parents" treat their offspring.

It starts with the notion that having children will propel a couple into the next level of social status... especially among their friends who may already have children. But no, having just one isn''t good enough anymore, no, you have to have two or three! The "keeping up with the Joneses" isn''t complete until a couple can fill all their seats of their gas-guzzling SUV!

Second, beyond the social status, having children (for way too many couples these days), is also a way to brag to the world that your reproductive organs are working... some needing assistance... but working to some extent.

So it is a combination of increased social status, and advertising of one''s ability to reproduce... and there is the recipe for...

...TROPHY CHILDREN!

[erasmus81]

Any parents that I know, that strive to be their kids "friends", they are the ones that have the MAJOR problems.

[erasmus81]

she is also not happy about because her friends are already allowed to go on dates. her friends also have their own cell phones, pda''''s, 30gig ipods, portable dvd players (etc). she doesn''''t." Posted by mediamomma at 01:01 PM : Jul 08, 2008

My kids are grown now, but this was the problem I had to deal with. A lot of my kid''s friends had their own TV, phone, computer, etc. When this happens, you have lost "control" of your kid. Some people may not like that word, but too bad. You have no idea what they are watching or who they are talking to.

My kids were always telling me that their friends could go to the mall by themselves. Yeah, and all those friends were always in trouble. That is because they would become bored at the mall and would leave and go other places. If you give kids enough rope, they will hang themselves.

[erasmus81]

"Children these days are raised with no respect for other human beings. Be that the parents, friends, boyfriends, etc. I observe it everyday. Children talking back and disrespecting their parents. I know families where the children have become the rulers of the house and push their parents to the edge.
Personally, I don''''t think 11, 12, 13, 14 year olds should be dating. The parents need to wake up and take control of their children and teach them how to respect others and to stay away from those that do not respect them." Posted by BSueHughes at 10:30 AM : Jul 08, 2008

I agree.

[tjdesocio]

i am not saying these statistics are untrue but....my 9th grader said when they are given those surveys at school a lot of kids lie for the fun of it. also, social services has made so many parents afraid to discipline their kids, those employees need to be better educated

[element51]

Another thing that was a big factor in my life is that I never heard, not once, my parents raising their voices at each other. I''m sure that they had disagreements but they never argued in front of us kids. And there was never any violence in our home. I think as a result of being raised in that environment my wife and I have never yelled at each other. She may have wanted to at times but she never has. If we disagree about something we have always found a way to compromise and solve the problem. Kids see what we do and they will copy it. We always included the kids in family decisions and everyone was encouraged to have their say. Respect goes a long way in forming a childs actions. I was never afraid to admit if I was wrong. No one is perfect and right all the time. That helps kids to learn to compromise. Very useful in real life. And to weeza3, I am so very sorry that you lost your daughter in such a needless way. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that you suffer every day. But remember, as long as you are alive your daughter is alive in your heart. That love will never end.

[wolfwalker2-2009]

Mediamomma. Good for you. You are so right, parents want to be "cool" and be friends to their children. That is not what they need nor deserve.

[mediamomma]

weeza - so very sorry for your loss. it''s tragic.

[mediamomma]

my daughter had "boyfriends" in middle school. it never went outside of school. there were no calls to the house, no going out anywhere. she had asked at one point if she could ask a boy to a movie. i said i have to go with her and they sit right next to me. needless to say, the movie thing didn''t happen. she will not be allowed to date until 16. she knows this. she is also not happy about because her friends are already allowed to go on dates. her friends also have their own cell phones, pda''s, 30gig ipods, portable dvd players (etc). she doesn''t. she had a 1g ipod and that''s it. no laptop, no free reign on the internet (parental controls are great!). it''s not my fault if her friends parents want to continually buy their kids love instead of earn it and that they don''t want to be a parent but are trying to be the friend. she has had enough abuse from others to last a lifetime and she does not need some boy pushing her to have s*x. she has chosen not to have it anyway (something about bodily fluids, but also due to what happened when she was younger so she isn''t remotely interested in it). if i ever catch anyone abusing her, i''m on it. she had a bully that assaulted her at daycamp and i called the police and had her arrested for assault. i don''t take it lying down. noone will ever hurt her again as long as i''m alive.