I was disappointed that no one mentioned the change in the expectations in our schools. What children are expected to master in kindergarten today, is what children used to do in first grade. Most children need the maturity to be prepared for these expectations.
As a mother of three boys and married to a man who entered school at the correct, youngest in his class, age we made different decisions for each of our boys. The first 2 entered school at the correct age(October and December birthdays) but the youngest (June birthday) we did what you are calling "redshirting". Our state has a September 1 cut off date for entry into Kindergarten. ( i believe that all states do not have the same cut off dates. All three of our boys are thriving. Our decision was based solely on what was best for each of our children. Our youngest probably would have been fine if he had gone a year earlier but he is now obviously where he needs to be both academically and socially. We think that we have to respect parents for knowing what is best for their children no matter what decision that they make for their child, and it was a great decision for our family. I will say that our reasoning was for the future not the present. In school you can always fight to have your child challenged but you cannot force them to grow up or to catch up if they fall behind. Sports did not have any bearing on my decision it was an social and academic decision. I did read Outliers and will say that it was compelling, but not the basis for my decision. I had seen two boys enter public school and thrive, in looking at all three of them together my youngest was not as ready as the other two. That sealed the deal for us. This is a complex and very individual decision. Only time will tell.
I feel it should be based on each child also. Our first child (13now) thrived but not until 3rd grade. And now our 5 almost 6 (april) still doesn't know his letters or half his numbers. He is not ready, after 3 yrs of preschool! And I HATE all the pressure we give each other and the stereotypes we throw at each other. Why does everyone assume it is sports related? We are not trying to give our 2nd son the upper hand, we are trying to give him a level playing field. Outliers was eye opening to us because we do have athletic kids. BUT if anything we hesitated about holding him back because of his size & abilities, we didn't want him to have an athletic advantage! In the end, we had to base our decision on where he is academically. And by 3rd grade he would be a wreck & who knows how hard highschool would be? IT is a very individual decision, thank you for your story!
I'm a parent of two children with summer birthdays (neither was held back but one would have benefited from it)and a pre-K teacher who has 20 years of experience with young pre-K children and their parents. These parents always asked for teacher input and none made their decision lightly. What wasn't mentioned in the report was the current emphasis on testing and early academics even in the youngest grades --- the tendency for kindergarten curriculum to be pushed into pre-K and for first grade curriculum to be taught in kindergarten. Emphasis on developmentally appropriate curriculum (and play!!)would allow all children to succeed and, perhaps, eliminate the need many parents feel to "redshirt" children.
We've read Outliers,.... And this is just hysteria. Our son is in 10th grade and doing just fine in ADVANCED classes. Back when he started at a private preschool and was not yet 4, the craziness was already starting. His birthday is in mid November, and he was not a husky, or tall, boy for his age. I was sensitive to this because my birthday is in October and I was a petite little girl who started Kindergarten a month before I turned 5. However, when my son finished preschool, the owner of the preschool urged me to send him to Kindergarten. At that time she had been education preschoolers for 20 years, I valued her opinion. She said that another year of preschool would bore my son and because he was already reading & understood basic math concepts, there was really nothing more the preschool could teach him. We sent him to public Kindergarten that Fall. His advance academic skills were immediately recognized. And he has done fine. In Middle School he was inducted into the Junior National Honor Society. He played little league baseball and basketball for many years when he was younger and is now a member of many clubs and does community service. He began his growth spurts at 13 and at 15 he his solid, broad, hairy and rapidly approaching 6 feet tall. He took his first PSAT this year and his score was phenomenal. What else could we have hoped for? He's fine. All that worrying for nothing. He couldn't have done much better if we had held him back for Kindergarten. In fact, I now wonder if it would have been detrimental if we had held him back. It seems the advice I received from his preschool was worth more than I realized at the time.
I already did it. Twenty-five years ago. For my son's first three years, he was intensly interested in whatever I did: garden, make bread, cook, etc. I would pop him in a backpack and I could do whatever I was doing, knowing where he was and talking to him, describing what I was doing. I tried to put him in pre-kindergarten, which he hated. He cried for the entire 1 or 2 hour class, which was held several times a week. Finally, I just kept him home. He clearly was not ready for the separation. And despite intense family pressure, he started kindergarten just 10 days before he turned six. I never thought about him being a 'leader' or big in comparison to classmates. I never tried to give him an 'edge'. What I did think about was his maturity and readiness to leave the house for hours at a time. I did not look to school to be a babysitter. I looked to school to teach him, which I followed up with at home. He was not emotionally ready for school 10 days after he turned 5. He was, 10 days after he turned 6. He was not a disturbance to the class, he graduated from high school 3 weeks after he graduated from a technical college, majoring in Computer Programming. He went on to graduate with a double major in Computer Science and Zoology, with a minor in Art. Whatever other parents did with their children, well, I hope they did what was best for their children. I know I did. And it had nothing to do with besting other children, or being smarter, or being a better athlete, it was all about what was best for *my* child.
I held my son back. NOT because I thought he would be better than all the other kids in his grade. Because....my husband and I both were 17 when we graduated high school. We felt that we were behind and struggled fitting in with classmates that were older than us. We were the last to drive, the last to date, and although I was tall, my husband was not.
When we had our son in early August of 1994, we were not sure what we were going to do. As he grew and got old enough for pre-school, he was smaller than most kids his age, he was very smart but quiet, so we decided to wait a year to start him in kindergarten.
There has not be one day that we wished we would of started him, and especially now that he is in high school. The demand of academics is very stressful, and kids are doing work that we did in college. As for sports, he works hard and is not ahead of anyone in his grade.
Everyone develops at their own pace and yes some people look to hold back because of the advantage. I can tell you there are SEVERAL like me that have held their kids, and it has been a very positive experience for the child!!!
As quickly as this country is advancing and requiring our youth to grow up and face adult situations......they need all the confidence and support they can get.
There is one other reason for redshirting that should have been mentioned in the story, but wasn't. The curriculum in most kindergartens has become too academic and the expectations for young children unrealistic. Much of what children used to learn in first grade is now taught in kindergarten. Many 5 year olds are not ready to start reading, sitting in desks, and doing worksheets. These unrealistic expectations provide another reason for parents to wait a year before sending their children to school.
Absolutely, "redshirt" your child if there is a summer birthday involved. It's a no-brainer if you have a boy. I taught 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grades for a total of 41 years. Even if your child is ready for kindergarten, the age difference starts to show up a few years later. I kept my own child back, and several of her friends were kept back as their parents followed my lead. No regrets.
We dealt with redshirting 15 years ago...from the school principal. We got the same party line about boys needing more maturity abd they'd be better leaders. Our son was more than ready, as testified to by preschool and other district staff. After she read through our documentation, she pulled the trump card about what would happen when he was the youngest in HS and his friends were all driving and dating. I thanked her for her concerns... but that my son will drive and date when his PARENTS let him, not his pals. I wasn't one of the principal's favorite moms for K-5 after that. However, I give her credit for assigning him to great teachers who were almost always an excellent fit.
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Outliers was eye opening to us because we do have athletic kids. BUT if anything we hesitated about holding him back because of his size & abilities, we didn't want him to have an athletic advantage! In the end, we had to base our decision on where he is academically. And by 3rd grade he would be a wreck & who knows how hard highschool would be? IT is a very individual decision, thank you for your story!
We sent him to public Kindergarten that Fall. His advance academic skills were immediately recognized. And he has done fine. In Middle School he was inducted into the Junior National Honor Society. He played little league baseball and basketball for many years when he was younger and is now a member of many clubs and does community service. He began his growth spurts at 13 and at 15 he his solid, broad, hairy and rapidly approaching 6 feet tall. He took his first PSAT this year and his score was phenomenal.
What else could we have hoped for? He's fine. All that worrying for nothing.
He couldn't have done much better if we had held him back for Kindergarten. In fact, I now wonder if it would have been detrimental if we had held him back. It seems the advice I received from his preschool was worth more than I realized at the time.
When we had our son in early August of 1994, we were not sure what we were going to do. As he grew and got old enough for pre-school, he was smaller than most kids his age, he was very smart but quiet, so we decided to wait a year to start him in kindergarten.
There has not be one day that we wished we would of started him, and especially now that he is in high school. The demand of academics is very stressful, and kids are doing work that we did in college. As for sports, he works hard and is not ahead of anyone in his grade.
Everyone develops at their own pace and yes some people look to hold back because of the advantage. I can tell you there are SEVERAL like me that have held their kids, and it has been a very positive experience for the child!!!
As quickly as this country is advancing and requiring our youth to grow up and face adult situations......they need all the confidence and support they can get.