Comments on: Mom Of 555-Pound Teen Speaks Out

Jerri Gray Has Been Charged With Neglecting Her Teenage Son Alex

[erin061486]

THEY NEED REHAB

[erin061486]

The problem is we aren't allowed to talk about people being FAT. They're FAT. They're substance abusers just like drug addicts. In fact FOOD ABUSE surpasses all other substance abuse in death. You are morbidly obese if you 30 lbs overweight. They are FAT and until we can talk frankly about being FAT the problem will always remain. She's as bloody FAT as he is. This is the only nation where welfare recipients are FAT. It's not the government's responsibility --it's ours. Remove political correct restrictions from our dialogue and let's be honest.

[erin061486]

this is the most disgusting situation. I live in a town where morbid obesity runs about 99 per cent. People who are fat don't even know they are fat. There are girls in my 10 year old's girl scout troop who outweigh me by 30 lbs. Kids here go right into middle age. Not a very nice thing to do to your kid.

we would save a lot of money on groceries, doctors' bills if we ate way less. So I say no food stamps, no government subsidy of any kind to the morbidly obese. None whatsoever.

[CLoverNYC1]

Erin061486,

The mother in this story works, she's not on foodstamps. She's just an overweight control freak whose loneliness is going to kill her kid, if she doesn't get a handle on it.

I seriously doubt the legality of withholding food subsidies because an individual is morbidly obese.

That's like trying to deprive these double-zero couture skeletons of their diet of gourmet coffee, exlax and toilet paper.

[erin061486]

Weight issues? She's full blown fat. She has a substance abuse issue. He's not overweight, he's deadly fat. And if he ate way less he wouldn't be poor, not low-income. There is a difference. Drug users are poor - not low income because they spend all their money on drugs as this family, and many obese families, spend too much on food. This is the only nation where welfare recipients are FAT. If we can't be frank about the problem we will never ever solve it. It's a substance abuse problem like drugs, alcohol, etc. It kills more than drugs and alcohol.

[erin061486]

this is the most disgusting situation. I live in a town where morbid obesity runs about 99 per cent. People who are fat don't even know they are fat. There are girls in my 10 year old's girl scout troop who outweigh me by 30 lbs. Kids here go right into middle age. Not a very nice thing to do to your kid.

we would save a lot of money on groceries, doctors' bills if we ate way less. So I say no food stamps, no government subsidy of any kind to the morbidly obese. None whatsoever.

[CLoverNYC1]

by muddie32 June 26, 2009 9:36 AM PDT
They need counseling.
-----------------

Muddie32,

You seem to have a great deal of compassion which is something I need to cultivate.

We agree that counseling is needed, and I hope this kid gets a fair shake at life. I hate seeing a young guy like that who can't go out for sports, have girlfriends or see his feet, for crying out loud.

Seems to be right now his mother is acting like a drowning victim with a death grip, and she's taking the kid with her.

[erin061486]

THEY NEED REHAB

[peach652]

Plenty of other kids must eat fast food occasionally due to parents working odd shifts... but the kids don't get to be 555 pounds! Something else is going on here. I think this lady is in denial. I agree with her, though, that they BOTH need a program.

[marianapayra]

I feel really sad for this boy and his mom. Of course his mom should have tried to look after him better, but as we could all see she also suffers from weight issues herself, probably due to poor eating habits. When you are immersed in a situation the obvious becomes blurry and her son's overweight might have not look as bad as it is since the majority of people in the US, low-income, hardworking people have terrible eating habits and are dangerously overweight. I think the government should have acted earlier by offering options to people like Mrs Gray, programs at school, community centers, not imprisoning this poor woman who's trying to get by working 3 shifts a day. It's sad, so very sad...

[erin061486]

Weight issues? She's full blown fat. She has a substance abuse issue. He's not overweight, he's deadly fat. And if he ate way less he wouldn't be poor, not low-income. There is a difference. Drug users are poor - not low income because they spend all their money on drugs as this family, and many obese families, spend too much on food. This is the only nation where welfare recipients are FAT. If we can't be frank about the problem we will never ever solve it. It's a substance abuse problem like drugs, alcohol, etc. It kills more than drugs and alcohol.

[muddie32]

CLoverNYC1

What I was trying to get at is that we really don't know what is behind her over feeding her child and herself. You could be right that she is controlling or she could also be suffering through depression, guilt, etc. We really don't know. This is why someone needs to figure out what is really behind her allowing the boy to become so overweight. They need counseling.

[CLoverNYC1]

by toldyouso29 June 26, 2009 5:20 AM PDT
-------------------

Toldyouso,

The statistics speak for themselves regarding blacks not having fathers. I believe the number is over 70% of black households. It's not bigotry, it's the truth. Deal with it.

It's my opinion that there is a connection between this particular kid who weighs 555 lbs and his controlling black mother.

Don't lose any more sleep. If you don't like my opinion don't read it.

[CLoverNYC1]

Muddie32,

No offense on this end, and thanks for your gracious reply to my post.

Whenever a white person says anything less than complimentary about blacks, it always gets construed as bigotry. The race card is so easy to pull, but it doesn't fly in the face of the truth.

My comment about blacks not having fathers relates to my perception that this woman has an unhealthy control over the life of this 14 year old kid, and he needs a father in his life. That's all.

It's my personal opinion, and it doesn't make me a bigot.

[CLoverNYC1]

by zeezedzee June 25, 2009 1:26 PM PDT
CLoverNYC1 said, "Honestly I think that this is why food stamp programs should not allow the purchase of unhealthy foods with aid money."
--------------------

Zeezedzee,

No, I didn't write that. I was replying to the individual who did.

Next time try actually reading my post.

[aChangeOfIdeas]

by toldyouso29 June 26, 2009 6:09 AM PDT
If they felt a need to step in for this case but have not done the same to others in similar condition, then their actions are unconstitutional---being that all men (and women) are equal under the law. Parity, is an issue here.

I'm not sure how many other 555 pound 14 year olds are in the state. Plus, the article seems to imply that some treatments were refused... I'm sure we don't know the whole story. What we do know is that the kid has a serious health issue that was not being addressed by the mother.

[toldyouso29]

This is true. Bought a pound and a half of cherries as a snack--9.98. Bought a bag of red delicious apples (10 apples in the bag) 6.98. Bag of baby carrots--3.98 and forget the price of meat. a large packet of ground beef? 18.28--and you still have to season and cook it.

small package? 7.98. Bigmac meal with fries and drink? 5.99. KFC meal with drink, 4.79. Any questions?

[toldyouso29]

This is too true "It is not what you eat, it's what's eating you"

On the other hand, this is also cultural. Many cultures such as Hispanics and blacks, place a higher priority on diets heavy with fats and meats. There are few minority vegans. Blacks tend to love greasy, fried foods and Hispanics also love diets high in fats. this is not by accident. Traditionally in both of these cultures, the mortality rate of children and young adults is/was high. Those persons who had 'more meat on their bones" often had a better chance of surviving times of famine or diseases that involved wasting of flesh and muscle.

Diseases like pneumonia or others that could lead to a lot of weight loss often cannot be endured by very small people as they often have dehydration and heart problems if the weight goes down too fast due to illness.

the idea was that fat would flesh out a person sooner and was more healthy and desireable. even in India, Africa and other countries, those who were fat were usually wealthy and considered more desireable--this is because only the wealthy could get enough to eat to become like that. There fore corpulence was tied to wealth. For a time, this idea was also perpetuated in Europe.

The other issue is body image. Whereas whites tend to admire and like a slimmer figure on women and men, blacks and hispanics are more predisposed to lots of curves, large buttocks and thighs--this has spilled over into even white males now desiring women with large buttocks. It is hard to have a large, rounded backside without the pillar like thighs to support them.

So, culturally, the issue is more than overeating. Blacks refer to men and women who others would call obese as "thick" or healthy or "rich" these terms are used admiringly. So the predisposition to fatty, fried foods, the desire to treasure or admire more ample curves all translates not only to a different body image but to different gustatory habits.

Fat provides satiation like no other nutrient. In talking to black people, especially fat black people, you will find many who will say that they'd rather be fat and eat what they like than be skinny and eat low fat, nasty food/

Food is a matter of taste and what it means to you--for some, eating is living, for others--you eat to live, not live to eat. If you eat to live, low fat, grilled chicken, boiled or baked fish and veggies amy be just the ticket--but for people who place a premium on taste and texture and think that they live to eat--then no amount of boiled, broiled or baked anything will take the place of crunchy, batter coated, fried, greasy fish, seafood, porkchops, chicken, etc.

There is more to this than just changing up what a person eats black culture is its own world, only overlapping with white society at work and a few social functions. In any self contained society or group--the mores, perception and acceptance in that group will override the criticisms and opinions and actions of the outside group.

Unhealthy eating habits like other unhealthy activities is not just a matter of how one eats--it is also a matter of how one sees food or the effects of food. Many people in other cultures accept "sugar" (diabetes) and dentures as a natural progression of their lives, and can accept a woman in a size 20 pant just as easily as a man in a size 56 suit. MOre has to be changed than diet if the diet is to really work. REmoving that child to foster care at this point will probably not make much of a difference in the long run, when he is old enough or has a say, he will go back to what his body knows and is comfortable with and being black, he will most likely also reside or live near others who share his outlook and habits.

[toldyouso29]

Sure am. And though I occassionally partake of some and do a lot of the others, I also make sure I have the resources to foot my own bill and not run to the government or expect tax payers to pay my way. But then, those who are leeches always are suspect of those who aren't parasitical. You must be very draining for those who you expect to foot the bill for YOUR excesses. LOL

[nascar8de]

Kids are kids he was pretty much taking care of himself, mother has to work second and third shifts to make ends meet. He will reach for junk food before he would pick up a piece of fruit, by the way has anyone seen the cost of healthy food lately???? cheaper to buy the junk then healthy, Government needs to keep their nose out of it, she is doing everything she can at this point. Give her a stimulus check OBAMA then maybe she can stay home and take care of business.

[toldyouso29]

This is true. Bought a pound and a half of cherries as a snack--9.98. Bought a bag of red delicious apples (10 apples in the bag) 6.98. Bag of baby carrots--3.98 and forget the price of meat. a large packet of ground beef? 18.28--and you still have to season and cook it.

small package? 7.98. Bigmac meal with fries and drink? 5.99. KFC meal with drink, 4.79. Any questions?

[muddie32]

CLoverNYC1, Notice I said crude, not cruel, What I was saying that I agreed that might have been the thought process that she had when purchasing the fast food. There was no intent upon insulting you. Now, what you said about the lack of black fathers, I have no idea how that would have made any impact. I have seen Obease fathers with their obease children as much as I have seen obease single moms with their kids. I agree with one of the earlier posters, the fact that she is overweight has much more to do with her attitude towards food and her health. She was probably thinking Ok I work this second shift and I can't be with my son, so I will get something that we both like. And that would probably mean that she got something that was not healthy because she associated food with comfort. This is what I have been trying to get people to see there is some underlining psychological issue here that is allowing her to overeat and allow her son to do the samething. Taking the boy out of the home isn't the answer, but having them seek some psychological help may be.
Let me put it this way, how good do you and I feel when we have our favorite dessert or when we go over our friends or family's barbeque and got a plate of good ribs or a juicy steak? Now add in some unlying emotional problems and you can see how someone can get to size. We associate food with good times and what happens when the good times go away, then the food we like becomes our good times. And from what it looks like, their may be an issue of guilt or some issue with the mom and dad's relationship or lack thereof, or maybe something happend at her job. This is why someone sould reach out to her and try to get to the root of the problem. Many times we replace our hurt with other things that gives us immediate gratification. The difference between food, drugs, and alcohol is that food is something that you have to do survive. This is why finding out what is causing her to see food as comforting can be the first step to solving the problems that she has.
I have been there, As i stated before, I was one of those people eating too much of the wrong things because I was depressed. Once I was delivered from that I was able to see food in it's proper context.

[toldyouso29]

This is too true "It is not what you eat, it's what's eating you"

On the other hand, this is also cultural. Many cultures such as Hispanics and blacks, place a higher priority on diets heavy with fats and meats. There are few minority vegans. Blacks tend to love greasy, fried foods and Hispanics also love diets high in fats. this is not by accident. Traditionally in both of these cultures, the mortality rate of children and young adults is/was high. Those persons who had 'more meat on their bones" often had a better chance of surviving times of famine or diseases that involved wasting of flesh and muscle.

Diseases like pneumonia or others that could lead to a lot of weight loss often cannot be endured by very small people as they often have dehydration and heart problems if the weight goes down too fast due to illness.

the idea was that fat would flesh out a person sooner and was more healthy and desireable. even in India, Africa and other countries, those who were fat were usually wealthy and considered more desireable--this is because only the wealthy could get enough to eat to become like that. There fore corpulence was tied to wealth. For a time, this idea was also perpetuated in Europe.

The other issue is body image. Whereas whites tend to admire and like a slimmer figure on women and men, blacks and hispanics are more predisposed to lots of curves, large buttocks and thighs--this has spilled over into even white males now desiring women with large buttocks. It is hard to have a large, rounded backside without the pillar like thighs to support them.

So, culturally, the issue is more than overeating. Blacks refer to men and women who others would call obese as "thick" or healthy or "rich" these terms are used admiringly. So the predisposition to fatty, fried foods, the desire to treasure or admire more ample curves all translates not only to a different body image but to different gustatory habits.

Fat provides satiation like no other nutrient. In talking to black people, especially fat black people, you will find many who will say that they'd rather be fat and eat what they like than be skinny and eat low fat, nasty food/

Food is a matter of taste and what it means to you--for some, eating is living, for others--you eat to live, not live to eat. If you eat to live, low fat, grilled chicken, boiled or baked fish and veggies amy be just the ticket--but for people who place a premium on taste and texture and think that they live to eat--then no amount of boiled, broiled or baked anything will take the place of crunchy, batter coated, fried, greasy fish, seafood, porkchops, chicken, etc.

There is more to this than just changing up what a person eats black culture is its own world, only overlapping with white society at work and a few social functions. In any self contained society or group--the mores, perception and acceptance in that group will override the criticisms and opinions and actions of the outside group.

Unhealthy eating habits like other unhealthy activities is not just a matter of how one eats--it is also a matter of how one sees food or the effects of food. Many people in other cultures accept "sugar" (diabetes) and dentures as a natural progression of their lives, and can accept a woman in a size 20 pant just as easily as a man in a size 56 suit. MOre has to be changed than diet if the diet is to really work. REmoving that child to foster care at this point will probably not make much of a difference in the long run, when he is old enough or has a say, he will go back to what his body knows and is comfortable with and being black, he will most likely also reside or live near others who share his outlook and habits.

[CLoverNYC1]

Muddie32,

No offense on this end, and thanks for your gracious reply to my post.

Whenever a white person says anything less than complimentary about blacks, it always gets construed as bigotry. The race card is so easy to pull, but it doesn't fly in the face of the truth.

My comment about blacks not having fathers relates to my perception that this woman has an unhealthy control over the life of this 14 year old kid, and he needs a father in his life. That's all.

It's my personal opinion, and it doesn't make me a bigot.

[mecury69]

Sex nuts? Get a grip, you're losing it. Sound like Rush Limbaugh railing against people who get hurt from exercising and becoming a strain on the system.

It that your final list? Alcholol, tobacco, drugs, fatty foods and sex.

YOU must be a lot of fun to be around.

[toldyouso29]

It's not like they are targeting all overweight kids in this situation, this is one extraordinary situation. I'm so annoyed that taxpayers are going to have to pay to fix yet another bad parenting situation."

Take a good look around you--this is still questionable. The reason being that this young man is not the only morbidly obese kid in that state. Do they have the rest of the parents in custody? Did they remove the rest of the kids from the household? I have yet to visit any state and not seen kids so huge that they needed a scooter to get around. He is not the only extreme case. If they felt a need to step in for this case but have not done the same to others in similar condition, then their actions are unconstitutional---being that all men (and women) are equal under the law. Parity, is an issue here.