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by womenspeakoutnowdotcom December 6, 2009 2:59 AM EST
What we need is to start an open and honest conversation about the realities of this issue. 30% of teens are reporting abuse in their relationship. The key word being, "report." The reality is most are not talking about it. We need more dialogue.
(Wo)Men Speak Out? is a non-profit organization dedicated to eradicating rape, sexual assault and gender violence. We seek to educate both men and women, cultivating healthy relationships and gender equity.
Learn more about how you can make a difference in your community:
http://www.womenspeakoutnow.com
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by cidaia December 5, 2009 1:37 AM EST
The only way we are ever going to end domestic violence is to stop giving in to the urge to blame and instead recognize that both partners in the situation need what is called cognitive behavioral therapy, anger management, communication skills - specific help which IS available.

But we can't help people if we're using them, and that's what we are usually doing when we jump into someone elses' domestic problems. We dump our own anger onto the one we deem "at fault" and we dump our own self-pity onto "That Poor Girl(Guy)", and it's not about them at all - it's all about our own unresolved feelings (of rage, usually) toward the opposite sex, and that's why instead of actually ENDING this mess we are usually helping them KEEP IT GOING, because while it is right and proper to file charges against anyone who commits assault against you, the "vigilante" or "out of court" warfare - where one partner (usually the girl) holds the other up to be publicly shamed and shunned - is just another form of abuse, another step in the cycle; later she'll apologize to him and swear she didn't mean to hurt him, blah blah blah, and we let ourselves be part of her revenging herself on him for what he did to her (for what she did to him for what he did to her, blah blah blah).....
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by pamolina December 4, 2009 4:34 PM EST
to david. Iam a feminist and I do not believe that all disagreement is abuse. I love a good rousing verbal discourse. I also like arm wrestling. That too is not abuse. I do insist on being able to disagree with anybody with out that person overeacting. I am a little concerned about you however. Do you let women disagree with you. Do you get abusive if a woman disagrees with you?
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by jackcameron December 4, 2009 3:29 PM EST
I think we are forgetting that no one chooses to be hit or degraded or sexually violated. They choose love and sometimes they want the abuse to stop, not the relationship. We are forgetting that women would not have to be "just like the boys" or feminists if male privilege and strict gender roles would just let everyone be who they define themselves to be. We are also forgetting that the victim is NEVER to blame-why does the abuser think it's okay to hit and to degrade? What are we teaching our children when we talk that way about victims? To never let us know when there is a problem in their relationships lest we judge them as harshly as strangers. If we don't step up and stop the blame and finger pointing, the problem will not stop. So when WILL you care? When it's you or a loved one?
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by staycalm December 4, 2009 1:10 PM EST
The uncomfortable truth is that women have always been the standard-bearers for civilized behavior. Without women, men revert to something resembling animals. What makes this uncomfortable is the impled responsibility of women to behave in a way that commands respect from men. Unfortunately, this generation has thrown that out the window in a mad rush to "be like the boys" and is now paying the price. Men and boys are exposed to so much pornography and "girls gone wild" that they no longer seem to respect ANY women. I have two teenage sons who complain about the fact that almost all the girls are "just like guys". There's no mystery to them, nothing that differentiates them from the boys so the boys treat them as one of their own gender except that they can have sex with them...usually with no strings attached. It is all very unsatisfying for BOTH sexes. Their mothers need to raise them to believe that what they have to offer the opposite sex is better than gold and they should guard it as such. At the brain stem, men are still hunters and, as such, they still relish the chase.
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by bankersvox December 4, 2009 11:45 AM EST
The problem stems from so many young girls being attracted to the school's dumbest "bad boys" , while the decent boys are over looked and shunned. What do they expect would happen ?
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by culturechang December 4, 2009 10:31 AM EST
The headline said something about "technology making it easier". Texting is not necessarily abuse. When you see dramatic increases in numbers, you must look at how the definition of "abuse" has been altered. Likely, litte has probably changed in behaviors, but a change in definitions has allowed for journalistic sensationalism.
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by spirit1957 December 4, 2009 10:05 AM EST
Women do not Ask for Abuse..What if your child was murdered and left to die in a bathtub?
Lindsay Burke was a beautiful young woman and my cousin
www.lindsayannburke.com
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by bubbadubba December 4, 2009 7:18 AM EST
Hey, it's the cool thing now to say you were abused and if you weren't abused you are not with the in crowd.
A lot of movie stars and celebrities say they were abused, and get a lot of attention when their star power drops.
Remember though, women NEVER abuse men because women are perfect and men are pure evil.
LOL
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by DSR_57 December 4, 2009 7:10 AM EST
THen I suppose 30% of teens should grow some self respect and move on
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