Comments on: U.S. family in limbo after Russia adoption ban
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- If I recall this action by Russia was sparked by the one set of adoptive parents who ended up with a child with so many undisclosed violent issues they put him on a plane back to Russia.
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- Adopt American you traitors!!!
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- There are plenty of American kids who need permanent homes. Black kids aren't as trendy as Russian kids, but the point of adoption should be to provide good homes to kids who need them, not to provide designer accessories to American couples who want something exotic.
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- I have to admit I don't understand why these people do not adpot from the U.S. It seems a little odd to me. What are the reasons for these 1500 people not adopting kid from here? Is it mostly money, or os it time or do we make it too difficult to adopt here. It shouldn't be too easy too adopt, but if that is the problem that maybe we should visit this issue and change a few things. But I think we have a right to question why people don't adopt kids from America.
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- aren't there any orphans, children, in need of adoption here in the USA? agree with Russia in that a nation state should take care of its own children. children should not be given away to a foreign nation for adoption as if they were cute kittens. does any foreign nation adopt children from the USA and is it even allowed?
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- My doctor adopted from Russia and she told me her reason was simple, she didn't want an open adoption and here in the US open adoptions are being pushed down everyone's throats. She didn't want the birth parents showing up at her house asking for money or they would choose someone else. She didn't want to go through the highs and lows that the American adoption procedures leave a person open to. She wanted something clean and simple, she wanted to parent. How many horror stories have we heard about people trying to adopt? If you go through the foster care system you are open to drugged out people stepping into your life (the main reason children are taken away from the biological family is drug related neglect and abuse), if you go for private adoption you are open to extortions and lots of let downs. Maybe ever person who has written about adopt American only should write to our lawmakers and ask for protection for the adopting person/people, then maybe more people would adopt domestically.
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- With so many AMERICAN children ready, willing and able to be adopted here, why import? This should never be allowed by any nation. A child born in any country, should be considered a national treasure of that country, with all the rights and privileges, and NEVER, EVER be be treated as exported goods.
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- They need to remove a lot of the adoption regulations here at home so kids can find loving families. There are way too many regulations in America. Read some of the stories of those who have tried to adopt and contact your representatives to get the laws changed.
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- Putin is right, but the people of the Russian Fed are going to have to accept taking care of their own and that won't happen overnight. I hope that parents like the Summers that have planned and proceeded with adoptions to the point that they have will still be able to adopt. My wife and I know the terror of taking in a child with the possibility that the adoption would fall through before it is finalized. And yes, there are needy kids right here in the USA.
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- As soon as I heard the news, I was moved by a dull memory of just how devastating this was once for me when I was prepared to adopt from Romania. Yes, two days before I was to leave for Romania to pick up a four-year-old boy whom I had yet to meet, Romania closed all adoptions across the board. With his passport and mine in hand, I sat stunned in my home as I answered so many concerned phone calls and watched the news about the children being left behind. Needless to say, it was painful beyond words for me, and a missed opportunity for a different life for this little stranger. I didn't come out of my house for weeks and thank God, my friends and family understood my need to just process what had happened.
Unless you have been there like the Summers, unless you have gone through years of OBGYN stomach wrenching heartbreaking infertility (blah, blah,) drama and unless you have lost a child, you cannot imagine the pain and hurt and yes, self-pity of having to hear such horrible news. Shattered, disappointed, feeling foolish and frustrated beyond description, I could not make sense of why having a child was so difficult when people all around me were getting pregnant at the drop of a hat.
I had done everything right, the INS dance, I dealt with a very reputable agency, I had my I's dotted and my T's crossed all the way through, but now I was out a good $20K, with no way to recover a dime of that money, I had a room full of clothes, doctor's and special psychologists appointment to cancel, a school to un-enroll him in and so on. It took all that I had to finally accept the fate of the life I had planned for this little boy, and move on with my own.
Nearly 15 years later, I can honestly say that have heard much sadder stories than my own and have seen horrific devastation and destruction and all of this has made me realize that losing that opportunity was not the end of the world for me after all. The hurt is far behind me and no longer do I feel the sharp pain of loss. It took months, even years. The Summers have one another. (I was single and ready to mother at all cost). There was however plenty of people just like me who were stuck and could do nothing. They were all over the world, good people just like the Summers and I who were ready to take what ever we were offered in order to save a child from a life without parents and satisfy a hunger to be a parent to such a child.
Now that I look back, I struggle with the memory of his chubby little face and dark lonely eyes. I don't know if this little boy ever knew I was coming for him, but I would like to think that if he did, he now understands that it was out of anyone's control to change what happened. Although I hope that some good family took him for their own, I know this was very unlikely. He most likely spent his entire childhood in an orphanage, a brother to many other children with him and with caring men and women doing the best they could with what they had. Yes, It breaks my heart because I know he could have had a a chance at a normal American life in the suburbs of California. He came so close!
Today would be nearly 18 or 19, a man. I would like to think he is a good man and that he is going to make something special out of his life in Romania. I hope he received enough love to not be bitter at the hand he was dealt and that he somehow received some portion of the love, prayers and 'good vibrations' I sent to him over the years. Most of all, I would like to think that because we were not united all those years ago, that it somehow means that he is destined to do great things for his community and country, and that someday himself will become a loving husband and father to children he will never leave behind. This is what I have come to believe and although I will never know the real outcome, then at the very least, it is what I wish for any child left behind. There are after all, millions all over the world.
Mr. and Mrs. Summer, if you look hard enough, if you stay truthful to yourself and the real needs of the children of the world, trust me, you too will move past this suffering and find that child's spirit in places you never imagined. The feeling will hit you when you least expect it and you will be awestruck at its power and beauty over you. You sound like good people so after this loss eases up, I suggest that you take all of that love and find the courage to close this door. This is the ugly side of life and parenting that people do not want to think might happen to them. Embrace it, and open your hearts again to being good parents to a world of need. You will find that child everywhere and when you do, you will finally understand what it all meant.
I wish you peace forever and ever.
Christy, still single and loving my parentless life after all, in California - Reply to this comment
