Comments on: Lost And Found

Lesley Stahl On Efforts To Place Foster Children Back With Their Families

[callam11]

Thank you, 60 Minutes and Samara, for telling the truth about the foster care system. The truth is that for as many children as it saves, there are many more whose lives are ruined because of it. I am a foster parent who saw this for myself. I thought I would be helping kids, but they saw me as the enemy if I wouldn't get them back to their family. I learned their families could have been helped with far less money than they were now paying me.

I have worked long and hard for foster care reform in the state of Maine. You would think stories like yours would make that an easy fight. What could be more important than keeping kids safe and happy with their own families? But foster care has become an industry and there is money being made by foster parents (I made $5000 a month for 2 kids), foster care agencies, counsellors and psychologists, all kinds of people, the same people who are often asked to testify as to whether a child should go back home. Of course, the answer is always no. Now those same people are asked to sit on committees on foster care reform.

You have no idea what it took to get FAMILY FINDING in Maine! But we did it.

Mary

[hswcb]

The children in the story were in facilities for kids suffering from emotional disturbance. Psychiatrists have a tendency to use a rubber stamp with these kids if they are from a poor family -- "Recommend long term residential placement". They do this all too often based on a half hour interview with the child and no contacts with anyone else. What this really means is they have now idea how to treat the child and do not want to work with the family and believe this will "save" the child. The child gets sicker the longer they are in an institution and then as adults we see them in our prisons and mental institutions. We must stop this and can do so by using the power found in love within family.

[hswcb]

The children in the story were in facilities for kids suffering from emotional disturbance. Psychiatrists have a tendency to use a rubber stamp with these kids if they are from a poor family -- "Recommend long term residential placement". They do this all too often based on a half hour interview with the child and no contacts with anyone else. What this really means is they have now idea how to treat the child and do not want to work with the family and believe this will "save" the child. The child gets sicker the longer they are in an institution and then as adults we see them in our prisons and mental institutions. We must stop this and can do so by using the power found in love within family.

[hswcb]

I have worked in the system for 40 years. I have seen children get worse living in institutions. I know we must do much better at finding relatives and empowering families. The children in the story were in facilities for kids suffering from emotional disturbance. Psychiatrists have a tendency to use a rubber stamp with these kids if they are from a poor family -- "Recommend long term residential placement". They do this all too often based on a half hour interview with the child and no contacts with anyone else. What this realy means is they have now idea how to treat the child and do not want to work with the family and believe this will "save" the child. The child gets sicker the longer they are in an institution and then as adults we see them in our prisons and mental institutions. We must stop this and can do so by using the power found in love within family.

[jeans9]

My 6 babies were takeing from us on 4-16-04 and we were threatened to give our rights up or they would take my 2 new sons that I have had since my children have been gone. We are innocent, and it has been over a year since we have saw are littile angels. Everyday it gets more harder being with out them. Now since christmas is around the corner its worse. Because we can not see the happiness in our children when they open presents. We have been threw alot, my 17 yr old son had lukemia and is now in remision. But he still needs to be taken to his doctor, and the last time we saw him he had not been taken but twice to his doctor. So pretty much what i'am trying to say is that it's hell not knowing whats wrong or anything. I cry myself to sleep everynight just thinking about my angels, and just hoping one day soon they will be with me again. I need them so bad, they are my world, and my everything. Please if there is anyone out there that is reading my desperate plea...Please help us get our angels back home where they belong. I cant take it anymore being without them.

[texatty]

I pray to God that this program will catch on around the nation. I represent parents and children caught up in what I consider to be an unfair system. Too many families are being shorn of their branches by CPS agencies anxious to "cash in" on the federal money by terminating parental rights. In many, many cases, CPS intervention is not in the best interests of the child. In cases where the parent is neglectful or abusive and the child cannot be returned, the extended families are often shunned in favor of the "ideal" foster family. The story of Lashika and Samara plays out a hundred times in courts across the land. Lashika was in care when she gave birth to Samara and Samara may end up in the same circumstance, if things do not change for her. I wish them the best and I hope that the children in foster care are allowed to reunited with their biological families.

[gateofheaven]

This program could not of come at a better time. I to have a nephew in foster care. How can family finding help me. Trying to cut through the red tape of foster care is difficult. Thank you CBS for airing this program. Also, please post a contact number on your website for Family Finding.

[elisaq]

I want to commend and praise you both Samara and Keisha (as well as your family) for having the courage and strength to share a PIECE of your story. Unfortunately, in 15-20 minutes you cannot summarize all the events and obstacles you have encountered and overcome during the last 14 years. I hope people can understand that there is definitely MORE to the story than what was shown on TV and that everyone's circumstance is different. Just some food for thought for the viewers...("be curious, not judgmental" - Walt Whitman)

[jjmcrn57]

I was adopted before 2 months of age to a very good home. I am educated, have an excellent career, but still have issues with trust, love, insecurity, anxiety, and depression. No matter what you do with your life, being separated from your biological mother at birth affects you your entire life. They say a condition known as Reactive Attachment Disorder only applies to children, but there is a whole world of adults out here that were taken away from their mothers at birth who are suffering, still. More effort needs to be made to keep children with their biological mothers. Maybe some of these celebrities who feel that they are "saving a life" by adopting children can put money into
providing these mothers with the resources, therapy, treatment, and support they need to keep thier babies, and really "Save a Life". For further information on the effects of being adopted has on adults, we have an on-line support group at; www.poundpuplegacy.org

[cantshutup]

I'm very happy for you Samara! You are right, people make mistakes and everyone should be given an opportunity to correct those mistakes...Don't ever listen to people who make you feel bad with the terrible things they say, you are a smart girl and one tough cookie to endure what you had to go through. I'm so glad you were able to reunite with your family...bless your heart and I wish you all the best!

[bluebabyspic]

hi my name is samara from 60 minutes. i dont want anyone to feel sorry for me. it brings my self esteem down. i really didnt like the negative comments people wrote about my family. they didnt know the whole story.yes i did hate my mom for not being in my life. but that was because i was told lies. and yes i did hate my dad because i thought if he wasnt in a gang he would still be here and i would probably be with my mom to this day. yes i know she was young and immature but who isnt at that age. but now she is older and wiser.peole make mistakes and they learn from it and no one is perfect. what i have learned from this situation is to keep your head up high and to keep living life. and ask god for a miracle. because my life is a miracle.

[xeaglesz]

Yes im very interested in the Family Finding Program. Cps Adopted My Three Boys Back in 2000/2001 They seperated them. my two older boys are in Michigan last I knew,And my youngest was in California.My Parental Rights were Terminated Due to An Abusive Marriage,and was unstable at the time. Now ive been Divorced Since 2001 And been Living in my own Appartment with a study income. Iwould like to be able to have some contact with them. Like E-mail Letters. Pictures. Iwould aleast like to send them Birthday Cards or Even Christmas Presents.I cant even tell them that there Grandpa Pasted Away in October And ther GreatGrandma dont have much time left. It been very Hard 6years without them .Now iam the only one out here in California.So please if there is any way these program works.E-mail At [e-mail] Thanks!

[diamond106y]

I'm very interested in speaking with someone about the Family Finding program. I have 3 children in foster care and I can't even see my children. Sherry E-mail [e-mail]

[c032909]

HELLO MY NAME IS WENDY AND I WATCHED 60 MINUTES. I WAS VERY MUCH INSPIRED BY THE REUNIFICATION OF THE DAUGHTER AND MOTHER.I MYSELF HAVE CHILDREN THAT ARE IN THE SYSTEM AND I WAS TOLD THAT I SHOULD NOT CONTACT MY CHILDREN BY THE FOSTER PARENT.I HAVE ONE DAUGHTER THAT IS 21 AND I HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF HER WHERE SHE IS.I HAVE 3 OTHER CHILDREN WHOM I WOULD LIKE TO TRY TO RE-UNITE WITH.I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE INFORMATION ON HOW TO CONTACT FAMILYFINDING.MAYBE THEY CAN HELP ME.

[savefamily]

I believe that Child Protective Services could do a better job at placing these children with their relatives first. But this is not always the case, I have been told that they don't have to contact family members. Their main concern is the safty of these children. I have nephews and a niece that are in foster home and I can't see the kids because I don't have the same legal rights as the grandparents. The foster parents don't like me so I don't get to see the children. This is where we need some laws changed. Don't give so much control to the foster parents, and give the control back to family members. I would hope that the laws would change so that other relatives could step up to the plate and these children would not have to be placed with strangers where they may or may not be treated properly.

[samarasmom]

You think you know but you have no idea. Hello everyone I'm Lakesha from last nights piece. I want to start off by thanking everyone who commented good and bad. I read everyone's comment and I thought I should give you my opinion. I was disappointed with how not only I but my family was portrayed. When I went to my first group home at 14 the system made certain promises to me. They broke those promises and I rebelled. Was that the appropriate way to get what I wanted? No, obviously not or I wouldn't have been on the show last night. But yes, I was a child and I didn't know anything about the system then. And I admit that. That's why my daughter was taken from me not because I abandoned her. I lived with my daughter in foster care until she was 10 mths old but she was made a ward of the court when she was 8 mths old after I left the group home and moved to a foster home where I was doing great. I still talk to Mrs. Jones today. She's the one who told me to continue to pursue custody after my rights were terminated.

[samarasmom]

Speaking of, I never stopped pursuing custody. I completed parenting classes, therapy, was in college, and working at 18 years old. My rights were terminated when I was 22 years old. The real question is why wasn't she returned home then? The social worker told me she would never recommend Samara lived with me no matter what I did. I had complications with my last pregnancy and told the social worker I wasn't going to make it to court for the regular progress report or PP hearing we had every 6 mths. She told the court that I said I relinquish all my rights. I of course couldn't contest it because I was at home healing and dealing with my son being in the hospital for being born 3 mths prematurely. Oh, something else that you didn't know and I just found out a few weeks ago from Samara the social worker was the foster mother's friend. They went to church together.

[samarasmom]

Did you know I on my own file petitions to modify the judgment but was denied? It was too late but I tried And if all of what they were saying about me was true why didn't they try to contact a family member to take her? My maternal grandmother RIP had 8 children over 30 grandchildren. I have a father, you saw my paternal grandmother, and Samara%u2019s father has family. Samara is messed up not only because I wasn't there with her but because she was constantly told that I had other children and made a family with their father and didn't want her. Did I make a lot of mistakes? Yes, and I still do and I still continue to learn from them.

[samarasmom]

Gnaler I am glad that you was so blessed to not have had gone through what we have gone through. That's the main reason you have no right to speak on this subject because you have never dealt with it and don't understand it. And Mrs. Wilson I'm guessing because you have 5 children and I know you have been married since before you lost your virginity. Where are my morals? They are with your BIBLE. God's laws also said not to judge others. I know what you saw but only a fool speaks about something he knows nothing about. What comes out of your mouth defiles you. We are all sinners everyone makes there mistakes and I know with everything God's going to make it right not Kevin or anyone else. I learned a lot from this and I went through this so someone else doesn't have to and for someone who's going through it can get through it a little easier.
God bless you ALL and I'll pray for ALL of you including you sinners.

[grandmamom2]

I stepped in to raise my granddaughter before the state took her away from her mom & dad who were unable to care for her due to substance abuse issues. Since I stepped in before the state did I do not get the same support and resources as that given foster parents OR foster children. The child I am raising not have access to the same support for her higher education that orphans or wards of the court receive! So, now that I have complained I'd like to say that I am forwever grateful that I don't have the state and social service agencies meddling in my grandchilds life!