Comments on: Lost And Found

Lesley Stahl On Efforts To Place Foster Children Back With Their Families

[blancheflour]

Continuance: I abused and neglected to mention my children, boys, were raped, received broken bones, overmedicated and suffer to this day severe side effects, almost died from medical neglect if not for befriending a social worker who put her job on the line to take my dying child to the hospital for which the doctors never reported over 10 head emergeny injuries. Did I fail to mention the hospital was run by the same institution my son was illegally incarcerated without authorization? Did I fail to mention the state, once learning of the illegal placement of my sons advocated for termination of parental rights? Did I fail to mention that once the TPR case was dismissed the state still refused to return my children to my care? Did I even fail to mention that I am listed on the Central Registry for Abuse and Neglect without trial, notification, and even having my children returned?

Hey, I an not a singled out exceptional case....I am the norm for my state. I will even be so bold to say I am the norm for the rest of the nation.

The only thing I did wrong was to reside in a severely impoverished neighborhood and not fit into any category of social work.

[onegreatkid]

First I want to thank all the countless hours from caseworkers, judges, law enforcement, therapists, and most importantly all the foster parents out there for opening your home and your hearts to neglected, abused children. This story touched my heart as I too was a foster child. I was fortunate to just be neglected and not abused. I also had relatives that could have taken us in but didn't do so. When I look at this girl on the interview I see her sadness, I feel her pain, I had that same look of sadness in past photographs. You have no direction, you have no mentor, most of all you have no bonding or love. My siblings and I have grown up and managed to live somewhat normal lives but with some emotional difficulties. As much as we try to forget the past it has a relentless grip on how we function and see the world. Someone mentioned Isolation in the comments here and I have to say that I have felt alone too. I think it would be great to connect with other people who have been foster children regardless of how old we may be now and to connect with those children and teens who are living though it now, we all need support and understanding. A network of people to talk to about past and present situations would definitely help people heal and form a bond. I'm not certain how to go about this but it would certainly be beneficial for everyone, any suggestions? Does anyone know if a website support group that exists? I would love to start one if not. Merry Christmas!

[blancheflour]

Finding the families and returning the children....hmmm....what a brilliant concept. Here is another concept that may bowl over social workers..do not remove the children from the biological families is the firdt place!

But then again, how else would states support waning economies if it did not create tax paying jobs for social workers fueled by federal funding. God forbid, these social workewrs with families may end up in the system for abuse and neglect...oops, i mean being unable to provide for the necessary needs of the child....oops, i mean poverty. Oh heck, aren't the meanings all the same?

My children were removed for...wait a minute...I was never charged nor did i enter a plea! My children were juvenile delinquents...wait a minute...my children were under 10 years old and were sleeping. Well, that IS a crime in most states if you receive state assistance.

I had legal documents generated to place my children with relatives...oops, due process is not recognized in dependency family court proceedings.

Return the children to the families...hmmm...;last time I looked there were already state laws and policies in place. Guess someone had an epithamy and got funding for thier program. Kudos to the concept of family preservation. Brilliant idea.

Here's to the destruction of American society...long live the 13th Amendment!

[sue3449]

i saw your story on this young woman in foster care,i was very deeply moved by it.
my son who is now 3 years of age has also been in state foster care since october of 2004, just for being small, and not able to gain weight, so the state of oregon removed from me and wrongfully accused me of neglect and was told i never fed my child which was not true, i have completed every task the state has asked of me, which was to continue mental therapy,to remain on medication, and to continue state parenting classes, and the state as of now still continues to tell methat no matter what they ask of me is not good enough to return my child home where he rightfully belongs.

i hope and wish this young lady well transitioning back into her familys life.
i hope and pray not to see another child go through the mental heart ache, or the issues of rage just due from being torn from their homes.

i am still fighting the state over trying to get my child returned home.

i hope this young lady will be ok of fighting all the issues you have delt with.
i really wish you well, and much happiness for a wonderful successful future.

[daltonfarm34]

We were deeply moved by the first 2 segments of
60 Minutes last Sunday. Having just come back
from Israel, the segment on the Holocaust
meant a great deal as we visited Yad Vashem in Jerusalem. The second piece on Samara, the child in Foster Care hit a chord as I spent much of my
childhood in foster care and also at the Hebrew Orphan Asylum. My wife and I wanted to know if there is any way we could help find extended family members for these children. Please put us in contact with anyone who would know more.Stan Hendel ([e-mail])

[daltonfarm34]

We were deeply moved by the first 2 segments of
60 Minutes last Sunday. Having just come back
from Israel, the segment on the Holocaust
meant a great deal as we visited Yad Vashem in Jerusalem. The second piece on Samara, the child in Foster Care hit a chord as I spend much of my
childhood in foster care and also at the Hebrew Orphan Asylum. My wife and I wanted to know if there is any way we could help find extended family members for these children. Please put us in contact with anyone who would know more.Stan Hendel

[bratmobile67]

Your reporter asked the gentleman finding relatives why would you want to place a child back with someone that they were taken from, and that apparently something very bad happened to cause the removal in the first place.. I would like to say that is not necessarily true. Has Your reporters investigated the amount of money the Fed Gov't gives to states to keep children in foster care, to adopt children out, to steal children (under the guise of neglect,they punish those who live in poverty),How many cases of alleged abuse do not result in any charges against the parents? In my state Texas, in '05 feds gave $354,412,447.00 for foster care but only $58,535,999.00 to help keep families together.Children are the ones who suffer the most for state agency greed, instead of asking why place a child back with a family he/she was removed from, why not ask How come our Government pays such a huge amount of money to steal those children from families. Lisa Lema

[roseladyokc]

I was an orpaned child before two due to neglect. I was adopted three times and three times given back to the state. I lived in institutions, shelters, jails and run away my whole childhood life. I was placed in the adult prison system when I was 16. I served three months shy of eight years. I was a product of what happens to a child in an uncaring system. I regret my decisions as a child but I didn't have any one who cared not even my real extended family - when I finally found my biological family I found my father's Mother was a finacially well off individual and she took the boy in her home of the five children eventually taken away, but not the girls. Coincidence? No one ever really apologized just excused thier behavior. I found my siblings and we are close and that makes a difference. We are all still very troubled but have come together and are facing more ourselves rather than taking on the world. I have hope for us. I am 29 and am just now beginning my journey for things that 'Good' for me. My life is better now and I take responsiblity for myself. I am glad to be away from the system as it is so flawed. View my 'IN-PROGRESS' page at http://www.myspace.com/roseladyokc My message to the children- hold on there is a better day and learn to communicate effectively. Tantrums get attention but they don't fix the problems. Generally people are good if they know how they can help they will try. Look to Jehovah and Jesus.

[saharroun]

PLEASE HELP ME! I deperately need Leslie Stahl or Family Finding to contact me. I provided a loving,nuturing home for my 8 year old Grandson and he's been taken from me and placed in Foster Care. He was my life and we had a mutual bond and love for one another. He wants to be with me. Please in God's name, HELP ME!

[generationsu]

Cont. from previous post...

Recommended by the national, nonpartisan Pew Commission on Children in Foster Care in its report on reforming the nation%u2019s foster care system, subsidized guardianship has proven successful in the states where it has been implemented.

Subsidized guardianship is one of the strategies recommended by the Pew Commission in its report to overhaul foster care. The recommendations focus on the need to improve court oversight of foster care and the need to improve current federal foster care financing. The Commission recommended that this funding be used to support an array of supports and services that could help keep families together and ensure that children and youth could join permanent families more quickly, rather than merely being used to place children in formal foster care.

For more information visit www.gu.org.

[generationsu]

All children deserve a permanent family, but each child%u2019s circumstance is unique. Generations United believes that innovative options are vital to addressing individual needs of children while helping them exit foster care to safe and permanent homes with relatives. Federally supported subsidized guardianships could help thousands of children across the U.S. for whom reunification with their parents or adoption are not viable options.

Subsidized guardianship is a federally supported program that would allow an estimated 20,000 children to exit the foster care system. Currently these children %u2013 for whom a judge has determined that neither adoption nor reunification are viable permanence options - live with grandparents, aunts, uncles or other relatives while remaining in foster care. They cannot exit care without losing federal foster care assistance, which is used to pay for everyday necessities like food and clothing that these children need in order to thrive and survive, and is critically important to grandparents and relatives on a fixed income. So the children remain in foster care, which means that they undergo routine visits from social workers, court appearances, and must get permission for activities like school field trips, out of state visits to other family members or sleepovers at a friend%u2019s house.

[wwdovew]

jacobert post at 10:47 am on Dec 19 is right on target!

I know, as I cannot get my granddaughter from foster care. They will not let me adopt her. She is highly adoptable and was "SOLD" before her parents rights were terminated. She brings the highest federal dollars because she is a special needs child! They say she is better off raised with strangers than her birth family. She is with a family that is supported by foster care funds. People that take in children and get paid for doing so, instead of working do not always have children's best interest in mind. None of our extended family was even talked to about taking my grandchild. There was even fictive kin that wanted her and they were not considered either. She was given to people that would produce the highest federal funding for the agency. We are told we will never see her again!!

[gleealan]

I am a grandparent who can attest to the fact that no-one from our state DCFS has ever tried to place any of our six grandchildren with relatives. Why should they when they make more money placing and keeping them in foster care! When my brother tried to contact DCFS case worker regarding adoption of three of the caseworker refused to talk to him.
You tell me that this "new placement program" is working and I will tell you only for the media exposure.
These people have broken federal law in not contacting relatives for placement. Yet, you never see any of these lawbreakers in jail.
My grandchildren have been in state custody for over six years. Four have been adopted out and the older two are refusing adoption. Not once were we nor any of our realtives ever contacted for placement over this time frame.
Over six years, how much money was generated by keeping them in custody. Why look for relative placement when you can earn more without effort.
Glee Alan Burt

[mariasmom]

mariasmom continued...

For those that believe CPS removes children without cause & for a profit, you are truly mistaken.The services that CPS must provide before removing a child from the birth home are extensive.The only provokation for immediate removal is a risk of significant physical harm- i.e. a child has died in the home or experienced severe abuse.As for those birthparents & relatives that have commented that their children were removed for "no reason", think again.It takes a court order to remove children and a full trial to terminate rights.I am tired of all social workers & foster parents getting a bad reputation from a minority of bad apples.Without question there are those who don't do their job & don't care about the children, but lets not forget the majority who do care.Acknowledge those who take into their homes other people's children & treat them as their own, those who go into work early & stay late to make sure a child or family has their needs met & those who step up to permenantly care for a child that no one else will.Instead of continuously providing forums for disgruntled birth families to duck accountability & place blame on foster parents, foster agencies & courts, let's shift the focus to the children & those who work to keep them safe.

[mariasmom]

I am both encouraged & distressed by this story & the comments that have followed.I am a social worker & foster parent, soon to be adoptive parent.I beleive that finding family members for children in residential homes or non-adoptive foster placement is essential.Our family is our part of our identity &, good or bad, we are forever connected.I applaud Family Finding & their work.We are currently in the process of adopting our special needs foster child who's been with us for 2 1/2 yrs.Her 3 sisters came into foster care before she was born 3 1/2 yrs ago.While rights were terminated for our foster child, due to her extensive medical needs, her sisters remain in foster care.They were removed due to the death of their 7 mo old sister & serious environmental neglect.Their first foster care placement was their aunt, who beat them so badly they were removed.Since then, they have been with a wonderful foster family who would be more than willing to adopt all three of them.In fact the girls have begged to be adopted.Birth Mom has been given 3 1/2 yrs of opportunities to regain custody of her children & has failed to do so.I would suggest to all those that believe birth parents are treated unfairly & given little rights or opportunnity, take a closer look, it's the children who have no rights & the children who are the true victims.

[cathyclement]

Five Acres is pleased to be part of the new family finding effort for at-risk children, as reported by Lesley Stahl on "60 Minutes" Sunday. Five Acres is a child and family services agency that strengthens families and prevents child abuse through treatment and education in community-based and residential programs. Originally founded as an orphanage in 1888, today Five Acres offers an array of services including residential care and education, mental health services in homes and schools, foster care and adoptions, and domestic violence prevention. Our staff is dedicated to finding permanent connections for children now in residential and foster care. From the comments posted on this website and the phone calls we have received after the broadcast, there are many who have questions about the family finding process and how to help and participate. Please feel free to contact Five Acres, and we will do our best to assist you.
For additional information please visit our website at www.fiveacres.org.

[mbag3377]

My comments below published the end first - read reversed.

Last of all, all parents whether troubled or not should IMMEDIATELY get the legal paperwork done specifying in order of sequence, who should have your children if you are incapacitated or die. You do not want to let the courts decide where your child should be raised, do you? Aside from Uncle Sam taking 50% of your assets, do you want him deciding your children's future? Do it TODAY!

[mbag3377]

"Family" is compensated (benefited) much less than professional foster parents and the additional load threatens to sink the family boat. Financial parity to age 18 should exist for both foster and adoptive parents in this situation. They should not be financially imperiled because they have agreed to take children out of love for family. Reuniting is the right thing. Relatives should not be financially broken because of this. The states know full well that these kids can require ALOT of help, with drug, developmental and emotional effects, especially when adolescence hits later. I believe that part of this intiative is to get the kids off the rolls for the state's economic benefit. It's almost as if "your family made this problem, now you guys handle it". Perhaps understandable, but in the long term this will fail. The best of both is to find families and create the legislation to give them the support they need to take on the unanticipated load to 18. My husband is a psychologist working with kids and I was trained as a CASA. We are familiar with the system.

[mbag3377]

Our family was "found". The four under 18 kids are now living with my cousin who moved back from overseas to take them. (her sister died and 2 or 3 father's parental rights relinquished/terminated, 1 of the fathers have since died). My cousin has 4 children of her own, making EIGHT! The biggest problem for her is future unknown (difficult and expensive) emotional, developmental and behavioral needs for 2-3 of the kids. She is currently a foster family but the court is pushing to finalize the adoption. Continued..

[jacobert]

The TRUTH about kids being left in Foster Care is that CPS (Child Protective Services) does NOT want the kids to have any contact with their family members. After they take the kids into their custody, in the MAJORITY of the cases, most kids are UN-necessarily removed from their families, cases are BUILT on "FALSEIFICATIONS" to "MAKE" their case against the parents, then CPS has the Parental Rights to the kids terminated so that they can SELL the kids into their "arranged" adoptions IF they can find "buyers -- adoptive parents" for the kids and ultimately collect the HUGE government bonuses for doing it. When CPS Terminates the Parental Rights to the kids, they also put restraining orders against the PARENTS And their FAMILIES so that there CAN'T be any further contact with the kids so as to enable them to SELL that kids into their adoptions without any further fight from the kid's family. THAT is why the kids are left WITHOUT family contact --THREAT of FACING CRIMINAL PROSECUTION for violating a restraining order against them for contacting the child. THIS IS TRUTH why kids are left with NO family contact -- GOOD OLE CPS - NOT. That the UN-KNOWING Public supports what they do. SHUT CPS DOWN and turn the kids over to their families for THEM to take care of, which is WHERE the kids SHOULD BE in the 1st place~!!!