Rules of the road: The quick guide to better networking

Image courtesy of Flickr user MyTudut

Here's a secret: I hate networking. Really. Truly. It's not something I'm proud of, but there it is. Yes, I train sales professionals and advise on sales leadership and large account selling for a living. And yet, no, I do not enjoy the act of networking.

But instead of hiding from it, I've embraced it. I've collected advice from a few experts through books, workshops and friends, and I've compiled them here for you. Let's be honest: when you can't fight it, you have to learn how to survive it. Here are a few tips to help.

1. First and foremost, it's not all about you. Keith Ferrazzi's book, Never Eat Alone, taught me a lot about networking, and the most important point is that it's not about you. If you spend your time meeting people and trying to see if there is a way you can be of help to them, you put your mind in the right order, and it is easier. Why? Because you may not be a great networker, but you are a great problem solver. If you can help someone else with an issue, idea or contact, you are working in the sweet spot of your skills. Along the way, good things will happen for you, too.

2. Set your goals. When I attend an event, I typically have between one to three people I specifically want to meet who I've picked out in advance. If they are not there, or they are completely encumbered, I go to my back-up goal. Set a number of new people, let's say five or 10, who you are going to meet, ask two questions, and swap cards with. Once you have hit your number, you are off the hook. You met your goal and you can go home, see a movie, catch the end of the game at the bar, it doesn't matter. You set a goal and you hit it. These networking events are not a prison-sentence if you don't make them one.

3. Ask good questions. "What do you do?" "Tell me about your company" and "How long have you been with your company/this industry/this association?" are all typical openers and they get typical answers. Boring. Try a few other questions instead:

-- "What business problem does your company solve? What is the best example you have of how you are doing that?"

-- "What has been the biggest win for you/your company in the last six months? What do you think it will be in the next six months?"

-- "What is the most interesting initiative you have planned at your company this year? How will that change your company the most?"

The point is that you want to pose questions that provoke and initiate conversation out of the normal routine. These questions should help you achieve that. Once people have answered your questions, you have just one more to ask: "That's great. Is there some way I can help you?"

4. Exit gracefully. I watched a real pro work a room at a cocktail party the other night. She would introduce herself, ask a question or two, ask if she could help, and then she would simply put her hand out to shake and say, "It has been so nice to spend a few minutes getting to know you. I hope you have a great spring." She would smile graciously and just move on. She took the initiative to introduce herself, controlled the conversation with a few questions, and then she left. There is a courtesy to be observed at a networking event that involves not monopolizing someone's time. The rhythm she set was at just the right tempo to accomplish what a networking event should do.

More expert advice on networking
Business networking without looking desperate: 5 rules.

When it's all over, you should come away from every networking event with these things:

-- Business cards of contacts with any commitments you made written on the back of the card for you to follow up on the next day

-- A few new prospects or industry contacts

-- More information about your industry, competitors and clients than you had on the way in

Lastly, here are just a few important reminders:

-- Take your business cards to the event

-- Smile

-- Be the first to put your hand out and introduce yourself -- every time

-- Send a quick email to every person you have a card from the next day. Thank them for their time and the opportunity to meet them. (This has ridiculous ROI.)

-- Don't complain. Just because this isn't your thing, no one wants to hear that you hate it, the food is bad, the place is loud or the people are weird. You're there: do your job and go home.

For some people, all of this is natural and I envy them. For others, like myself, if I have a process and some guidelines, it helps take some of the stress out of networking and I even learn to enjoy it...kinda.

[hankblank]

Great points here again about the power of networking.
Here are some additional thoughts on Networking Tips for 2012 for people in transition.

http://hankblank.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/networking-tips-for-2012-for-people-in-transition/

Hank Blank
www.hankblank.com

[hankblank]

Great tips here. I find that many people in transition need to improve their networking skills.
Here are some thoughts on Networking Tips for 2012 for People in Transition.
http://hankblank.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/networking-tips-for-2012-for-people-in-transition/

[Greg_Peters]

Great article on good networking practice. I really like that all of your rules are focused on treating the networking event as an opportunity to create new relationships, not necessarily one to pursue new clients (at least not directly).

My one caveat on your advice is in regards to setting a goal to meet specific people. I don't have a problem with it per se, but sometimes people set themselves to meet a particular person with the idea that they want something from that person (usually a sale or a connection to a sale). I warn my clients to be aware of that and before they try to target a specific individual make sure it's in the other person's best interest -- without any expectation of an immediate return for us.

Loved the questions you came up with. Will probably incorporate these into my own practice.

"Never Eat Alone" was one of my inspirations, too. Ferrazzi really knows what he's talking about.

[aharrell3000]

Very good article! As someone who's been out of corporate america for a little over a year and has decided to start their own sales, marketing, and sales training firm...it was a refreshing read!
One thing I would also add to the list is "Following Up", I must receive 3 to 4 invitations to connect on LinkedIn a day and once I accept...I never hear from the person. I ALWAYS follow up with the person who's agreed to connect with me, my thinking is if they accepted my invitation there could be a possible connection interest. For the life of me I do not understand the difficulty with people to "Follow Up"...it seems so common sense and guess what you may miss out on an opportunity!

[ndlicht--2008]

Here's a networking event participation / management path that I use and I teach sales folks. It leaves no branding question nor does it elicit a Huh? It uncovers qualified prospects and a way to get an appointment to follow-up, period. That's what a network event is for in my opinion

-Neil Licht VP, Reputation911. [e-mail]
________________________________________

The personal one to one chance meeting at networking events, industry shows or on purpose or in making a cold call can be one of the best opportunities to gain prospects & recommenders. The success key is all in how you initiate & manage those conversations.

I use A 30 second commercial format but done with 3 very specific objectives:

• to qualify re application value, need
• gain a strong interest
• gain an appointment to explore the concept in depth & how it could be beneficial, discover possibilities, value proposition, process for eval, adoption & get a sales process going that can indeed lead to a sale.

Its absolutely not a "here's what I do"- product pitch.

Why this approach - Consider this:

Why sell when you have no idea if the need exists or if the person even cares. You can't possibly sell in that short conversation because you don't know the "buyer's" needs, authority, or direct involvement with the areas that you can fix or solve. In fact, its not an opportunity for a sales pitch at all.

What's the formula for a 30 second commercial that can work
Its purpose is to create a link between what the person you meet faces & must solve & what you have that can help. Its objective is to qualify probable need & value for a solution that gets the issue solved or minimized & then get an appointment to discuss the issues & how you may be able to solve them, that's all.

It must get that precise connection made, get interest in what you have that can solve that issue & get the calendars out so you get an appointment to discuss it deeper with the person that you are talking with.

So how do I use the 30 second commercial to work in that way for me at networking events

Here's an approach that seems to work:

A. Your elevator pitch, aka 30 second commercial used to open and manage the conversation has to get a shared mutual connection going in a very casual, non threatening conversational way. Its not a sales pitch at all in that sense.

Starting with asking "What do you do" is great because its always good to know what the person does before you spend time pitching.

B. Based on knowing that, pick a known problem or challenges that the prospect, because of what they do, always has to grapple with. Say "You know how people in your position always seem to have to face xx and the issues it creates" or say "you know how we always face xxxx".

They say yes!

C. You say "my company helps deal with those problems", throw out a very quick example & say " I've got time on Tues or thurs of next week to discuss how we can do this for you. Which is best for you and I to spend about an hour-Tuesday or Thursday of next week"

You will get an appointment and then the selling starts - in the first meeting, not the elevator pitch.

I have found that this kind of 30 second commercial approach is useful in connecting in person and one to one conversations & gaining "qualified" prospects who want to talk with you.

It works well at:

* groups

* casual conversation

* reach out phone calls ( it gets calls back because of the message you leave)

* reach out cold calls

* lead follow-up,

* the local chamber of commerce meetings,

* social events

* you can strike up a conversation because it can manage a that conversation into an appointment to discuss your ideas ( ideas sounds a lot better than product or solution) .

Neil Licht, CEO and Chief Adviser, HereWeAre - Managing Change Group
* How to Re Tool messaging and sales approaches to Capture Business in our "everything's a commodity" mentality Market Place

[e-mail] or [e-mail]
http://www.wix.com/ndlicht/hereweare

[Greg_Peters]

What you are describing is *selling* at a *networking* event. Of course, this is always your option and it works for a lot of people. The problem is, you get a reputation as a "seller". You aren't really interested in helping other people unless the help you provide adds directly to your bottom line.

Your choice, but when I attend a networking event, my goal isn't to find sheep to shear, but to find shepherds. The idea is to connect with the other attendees, help them find solutions to their problems, strengthen the long-term relationships with them, and build a network of people who are genuinely devoted to my success -- because I am genuinely devoted to theirs.