Caregiving: Three Hidden Costs to Avoid

(MoneyWatch)  Caring for an elderly parent takes an enormous amount of time and energy. Turns out it can be a significant financial burden, as well.

In my last blog post, I wrote about some of the costs adult children can expect to take on as their parents get older. I included some advice I received from Gloria Barsamian, a social worker and author of Sustenance and Hope for Caregivers of Elderly Parents, on how we can juggle those expenses with our own financial needs, including saving for retirement.

Now, I'd like to share with you three hidden expenses Barsamian says caregivers often encounter and her advice on how to either avoid them or lower their price tags.

• Visiting Mom

Even if your mother lives independently, you'll likely spend between $5,000 and $6,000 a year caring for her, says Barsamian. That's because each time you visit you'll probably want to help out. Many caregivers bring over a bag of groceries and other household essentials each time they stop by. Some adult children also take their parents to medical appointments and then offer to cover the co-pays. And if you live far away, you'll likely cough up even more since you'll have larger phone and travel bills.

Solution: Set a monthly budget for how much you can afford to spend on your parent and try not to go over it. If you find you're still stretching a bit too thin, consider searching out programs like Meals-on-Wheels to ease the burden, suggests Barsamian. Not only will Mom not have to worry about cooking lunch, but you'll also have the piece of mind knowing someone is checking in on her when the food gets delivered.

• Inviting Dad to Move In

Costs escalate when you invite a parent to live with you. Not only will your energy and food bills rise, but you may eventually need to hire a professional caregiver to help out. If Dad lived on his own, chances are he'd pay for the service. But some children end up spending their own money on a home health care aide or companion since they feel the assistance is actually relieving some of their own burden. Barsamian says an aide can cost up to $20 an hour.

Solution: If your parent isn't too frail but just needs some help cooking a meal or a little companionship during the day, consider finding an adult day care program in your area. Not only is it cheaper than home help, it also provides a social outlet, says Barsamian. And since it's a program that's outside of your house, your father may qualify for financial assistance or even offer to pay for it himself.

• Moving into a Nursing Home

It's no secret that nursing homes cost a fortune. But if you aren't careful, you and your siblings could end up footing the bill. Facilities typically like patients who can pay for at least a year's worth of care before going on Medicaid, says Barsamian. But too often, a parent will understandably spend every last dime he or she has on home care before considering a move into a nursing home. That leaves the children in a quandary. Do they offer to pay the tab for the first 12 months, which could cost upwards of $70,000? Or, do they stick Mom in a place that may not be nice as some other facilities but accepts Medicaid patients right away?

Solution: Keep track of Mom's finances and try to convince her to go into a nicer nursing home while she still has a year's worth of money left to pay for it.

Have you spoken to your parents about their finances? How much can you afford to help out?

Grandparents image by premus, CC 2.0.