Don't let burning bridges fall on you

(MoneyWatch) COMMENTARY Every good businessperson knows the importance of building quality relationships. But I'm surprised at how often people don't give the same thought to the "quality" with which those relationships end, and the possible ways in which a bad breakup can come back to haunt them.

Most business relationships don't last forever; employees move on, customers come and go, suppliers are replaced. But what goes around does indeed come around, and paths can cross again, particularly within the same industry or in small communities. More than a few times, I've seen and experienced reminders of the importance of not burning bridges with:

Employees: Many, if not most of us, still see or hear from former employees, especially if they've stayed in the same general line of work. At times those employees may come back to work for us again, or they might prove to be valuable industry connections. Imagine if your former employee goes on to become the head buyer at your biggest customer (a very big deal, and it happens). The terms on which you parted company will revisit you, either in a very good way or a very bad one. Unless it is absolutely unavoidable, no matter what the reason for separating with an employee, I always stress the importance of doing so in the most amicable manner possible. Who knows? The guy you fired may be your boss some day.

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Customers: Obviously we (usually) don't want to lose them and we can't please them all, but customers will leave us for various reasons. In the worst-case scenario, if we've tried to do everything we can to win them back and failed, we should try to displease them the least. They might come back later, they might not. But needless to say, their word-of-mouth -- especially in an era in which a comment can travel the world in seconds -- can have a huge impact on your business. Customer conflict and ill-will must be avoided at all costs.

Suppliers: Vendors take many forms, from the local company that supplies your janitorial supplies to the life blood manufacturer(s) whose products you distribute. So the risks of a relationship gone bad can vary from inconsequential to catastrophic. Some suppliers (like the janitorial supply company) may be easy to replace; the more mission-critical ones, not so much. Either way, you never know when you are going to need someone -- or need something from someone -- and burning bridges with suppliers can mean anything from the simple embarrassment of coming back with your tail between your legs looking for a favor, to the disastrous impact of losing a product line, future opportunities, and your reputation with other prospective partners.

Sales representatives: If your company relies on independent sales representatives to work with your accounts, remember that while your rep force may change, those salespeople are always in touch with your customers, probably more often and more directly than you are. In all likelihood, they will also be selling competing products. So even though you've gone your separate ways, your ex-reps are still sitting face-to-face with your customers, but now possibly selling against you. There's nothing you can do about the business competition, but being a class act when you split will at least reduce or eliminate the animosity that can lead to a nastier, vindictive kind of competition.

Competitors: Although this isn't the same dynamic as the constituencies listed above and doesn't typically involve similar conclusions, it is still very much a relationship, and one that is at least as important as the rest. Some of the companies I admire most pride themselves on having cordial relationships with competitors, when allowed to do so (we feel the same way at my company). That doesn't mean they don't compete aggressively -- it just means they understand that business is business, and it doesn't have to be personal or negative. To paraphrase the name of my own column, it is, in fact, possible to "compete with class." One of the common ways in which bad karma comes around in these situations is when companies get acquired, and suddenly a once-unfriendly or even "dirty" competitor finds itself under the thumb of a former rival. It often makes it very easy for the new owner to make personnel decisions, if you get my drift.

Of course, business situations are not always rainbows and unicorns, and sometimes there is no avoiding an unpleasant end to a relationship. But whenever and however possible, it is in the interest of all parties involved to minimize bad blood and keep a philosophical, businesslike attitude -- after all, you never know who you're going to meet... again.

Image courtesy of Flickr user dullhunk

[clcronan]

Burned an important bridge. I am developing a diagnostic and had convinced a local medical college specialist to help me obtain medical samples through his Hospital. He was supposed to be trying to obtain approvals. After 6 mo I asked for status, but he had done nothing for me. "Working with you has been a waste of my time." Even though this was true, I realized immediately that I just destroyed this pathway. he refused every attempt at reconciliation and now, several years later, he is nearly the last person I have been able to recruit.

Don't burn those bridges.

[tramky]

One other thing. I have personally ended a job search with a particular company when I found out that a certain individual was already an employee there. I knew that person from a previous employer a few years earlier, and it was very telling to discover he was working at this place. It ended my interest & relationship with the company. THIS, in my view, is the example of self-respect and honor. Companies, employers, are a dime a dozen, and WHO they are willing to hire will tell you a great deal. If you are willing to take a job simply because someone offers you one, you are NOT in control of your life, they are. If you are willing to settle, feel free to do so. But I'm not going for it.

[ShepHyken]

Most companies focus on customer loyalty. The smart ones also focus on employee loyalty. This article takes it a step further by adding three more groups; suppliers, sales reps and even competitors. Another great article from Michael Hess.

[tramky]

This notion cal also present a tremendous personal dilemma. Especially in smaller businesses, the reasons for parting with a customer or employee can be very personal--ethical issues, behavioral issues, dishonorable behavior.

Is this why some politicians who have a business background seem more than willing to establish relationships with thugs & dictators who happen to lead other countries? That they have become so accustomed to accommodating & tolerating unaccommodating & intolerable people that, well, it just comes naturally?!

Where does personal taste, personal ethics, and a sense of propriety come into play? Or is all of that out of bounds for the businessperson?

There are issues about which it is appropriate to go to the mat over. A scoundrel is still a scoundrel.

[cedaly1968]

I think the author glosses over, or maybe should have a separate article on, when to burn a bridge. For example, if your business was showcasing Jerry Sandusky for all of his help with children, are you not burning the bridge with Jerry on your way out the door? Uh, yeah, you are. The last thing you want is to have your brand, personal, professional or business, associated with criminal elements. Do you think Accenture ever talks about all of the consulting work they did with Enron while being called Andersen Consulting? There are in fact times to sever ties, sometimes publicly, sometimes privately. "Burning a bridge" is sometimes necessary and unpleasant. Don't fool yourself otherwise.

[hessmj]

I agree 100% and tried to convey that in the closing paragraph... sometimes bad endings are simply unavoidable. Your examples of such situations are good -- if a relationship is damaging to your business, or risks becoming so, then it is indeed a bridge that should be burned. But that is really the excaption, not the rule. Most business relationships can be ended "gracefully," and dramatic situations like Sandusky, Enron and the like are certainly more the exception than the rule. Thanks very much for commenting on the other side of the coin.

[SusanRoAne]

In my research for How To Create Your Own Luck, I learned that one common trait among the eight traits of the "lucky" is that they don't burn bridges. If nothing else, being "perfunctorily polite" will tide us over during the stage when we must hold our tongues.

[hessmj]

Wonderfully and eloquently put, thanks for commenting

[[e-mail]]

Well, that just about covers everyone. For years I've told junior engineers coming to my company is that if you ever reach a point where you want to leave, don't create a scene and burn your bridges -- just leave. You never know where you'll be a decade from now or who you'll need to be working with.

[hessmj]

So true. I have seen people lose jobs and important company relationships severed because of old bad blood. I go out of my way to make even the most difficult situations as "friendly" as possible as the world is too small and as they say, karma is a b**ch ;)