When you should pick up the phone, and why

Photo by Skooba Design

(MoneyWatch) Phone calls -- the real kind, using mouths and ears, not thumbs -- are quickly joining faxes and discs on the endangered media list. There is enormous resistance to making and taking phone calls, and not just among teenagers. I think this is one case of the march of progress taking a step in the wrong direction.

I'm no tech rube -- I have an arsenal of gadgets (for that matter, I make my living making bags to carry them). I get an average of 150 emails a day, not including spam. I'm online and connected 24/7, through at least four devices. I use it all (except Twitter -- I intend to go down fighting before I Tweet), so I'm not some codger suggesting we get back to licking stamps. The tools we have at our disposal are fantastic and powerful, but like anything powerful, they can be misused and abused.

Sometimes talking is the only right way to communicate, and when an in-person conversation isn't possible or necessary, the phone should be your tool of choice:

When it is the fastest way to handle something. Email, text, Twitter and online chat are half-duplex -- like a walkie-talkie -- the conversation can only go in one direction at one time: Question, send. Answer, send. Reply, send. Comment, send...and so on. Other than a face-to-face conversation, the phone is the only full-duplex means of communication, where two or more people can speak simultaneously. In many instances it's much faster than a staccato keyboard confab, not to mention it eliminates horrible, time-wasting emails that say "thanks" or "OK" or "Got it" after a matter has been dealt with. One call, one talk, moving on...

When email and other methods aren't getting it done. Studies have shown that of all customer service options, phone support consistently yields the best results. Yet more often than not, when I suggest to someone that he or she pick up the phone to try to resolve a problem, I get a response like, "why? I already emailed/texted," or "I don't see how that will help." More and more people simply don't want to pick up the phone, as if it's some freakish curiosity on their desks, even though it will very often get a problem solved faster and easier than sending a message into space and hoping/waiting for a reply. When I have a problem with a company and am told that email is the best/only way to get it resolved, I don't just accept it. If I can find a number, I call; and most of the time I'll get what I want, in less time and with fewer headaches. I won't be a victim of anonymous, unaccountable handling if I can help it.

Fortunately, some of the best companies are increasingly catching on: One of my regular go-to examples, Tony Hsieh of Zappos.com, says in his bestselling book, "The telephone is one of the best branding devices out there."

When there is any risk of "tone" being misunderstood. We've all been there, having written or received an email that was taken in a completely different spirit than intended. This misinterpretation can lead to anything from awkwardness to disaster. If there is any chance that the tone of your message will be misunderstood, it doesn't belong in an email. Don't depend on a winking emoticon to covey the tenor of a typed transmission -- use your voice.

When it's personal. If a message is personal or otherwise sensitive on a human level, and a face-to-face conversation isn't possible, step... away... from... the keyboard.

When someone asks you to. It really irks me when I try to call someone I know, leave a message asking him to call me back, and get an email or text saying, "Got your message, what's up?" A successful relative of mine refers to this as "mixing media," and despite the excuses I've heard in its defense, it can be inappropriate or even rude. If something prompted me calling you to ask that we speak, assume there is a reason and call back, just as I would you. Note, I'm not talking about unsolicited sales calls or others that may be justifiably avoided, I'm talking about real, regular working relationships among familiar people.

I've gotten into many discussions about this topic, and often get an incredulous, "you must be kidding" response and every kind of argument to support the notion that the phone conversation is an all-but-useless, inefficient anachronism. If you believe that, have at me, but you definitely won't convince me. I believe that for every minute technology saves us, it wastes another -- if not more. Phone avoidance is typically the result of a false sense of efficiency, the belief that we're too busy or too important, or the simple (and unfortunate) desire not to talk to people.

I'm as guilty as anyone of email over-dependence and overuse at times -- it's hard not to be. But despite that, I do know when it's time to stop typing and start talking, and I'm almost always better off for having made that decision.

[She who Knows]

I agree with your premise. Also, one picks up many more cues on the phone which emoticons aside, simply aren't present in an email. I would have responded sooner, but I was on the phone.

[albert3801]

I totally disagree with that the telephone is a more efficient tool. I avoid using the telephone because I don't know what I am interrupting. I dislike people telephoning me because:

1) It interrupts my train of thought and concentration. My main job is data entry. Everytime I get a phone call (or a face to face visit) it disrupts my concentration. I will need to stop what I am doing and and will likely make an error.

2) People will use psychological triks and persuasive techniques over the phone to get the reply from you that they want to get. Customers in particular do this. They will try to force things from you that are against company policy by swearing, screaming, abusing or intimidating you over the telephone. In email the emotion is removed as the process of writing the email often allows the customer to vent.

3) I don't think anyone in business today has the luxury of the time to be interrupted and drop everything they are doing everytime the phone rings. I could be halfway through counting 500 pages of documents, in another computer system or any number of other things that do not make it possible for me to answer your enquiry right now. Email me and I'll get around to it when convenient.

4) KPI measuring. Everyone has KPIs these days. One of my KPIs is entering 17 orders per hour. At the end of each day I have to document how many hours I spent entering orders so that management can work out if I met my KPI. If I enter all my orders in one block uninterrupted this makes it a lot easier. If people call me 10 times while I'm entering I can't adequately account for the time I'm not entering orders an talking on the phone.

5) If people call me to ask a technical or complex question I will have to research the information in manuals or computer databases. This can be difficult with someone on the telephone while you do it getting impatient. Much more effective to email me and I will collate the information for you and present it all in one go.

6) Sometimes using the telephone or face to face visits are too easy and colleagues will use it to constantly ask you questions they could have looked up themselves out of lazyness.

7) If I ring someone and request some information they will most likely say something like "Sure - I'll get that for you later today". They will then get another phone call and forget all about my request.

8) No accountability. If I get an out of spec order I may telephone the product manager and ask if we should accept the order. They will say yes, and then when something goes wrong they will deny it and it is you who are left in the poo poo.

I am happy to work in an ogransation where use of the telephone and face to face visits between colleagues is strongly discouraged with rules in place to in many cases not allowing phone calls or visits with colleagues even if they sit right next to you. These rules are in place for all the above reasons.

[hessmj]

If I'm guessing right from some of your wording and spelling, you are from "across" the pond? Thanks for coming over to comment.

As always I stress that everyone's experiences and job situations are different and I respect that. In this case I think that most people -- and the other comments mostly support that -- don't have the same very specific issues you have in your position. I'm very sorry you have to deal with all the things you list, and that as a result, "direct human contact" is not possible in your job.

On a lighter note, after reading your note I couldn't help but think of the movie "Office Space." don't know whether you've seen it, but I think you'd very much appreciate it. ;-)

Thanks again for sharing your views.

[hoggenderby]

Most of us know email can help compartmentalize the day, eliminate common verbal misunderstandings, and provide a history. Unlike your article implies, I do not use email to avoid contact, but do use it instead of the phone for its strengths. Sure it is difficult to convey emotion in email, but does that really matter in most business exchanges?
I do not mind resending a saved email exchange, but we should not have the same phone discussion repeatedly because someone cannot accurately remember or interpret a phone conversation. The misinterpretation seems to start as soon as we hang up the phone. You are correct about calls sometimes being better, but you generalize too much on the reasons why some of us prefer email.

[jmm11b100]

I'm tech literate. I'm also a good observer of human psychology and I find people that don't answer their phones and use email and texting are usually highly uncomfortable in a give & take conversation with the other person ... this is classic avoidance.

I find the phone to be the best way to fix an issue that when I reflect on it my first inclination is to avoid it. At that point I realize I facing a potential "relationship" problem and to head that off I proceed to direct communication on the phone.

Everything Hess wrote in his article I'd pass on to business owners and recommend they change how their staff interact with customers if no one else. Use the phone, nothing is better other than face to face

[hessmj]

Thanks for your kind comments. I agree that the issue is 99% avoidance, and that all of the other excuses people give are simply a way of glossing that over. Here's another great one... I've been trying to connect with a good customer whose office e-mail is having problems, so she's not getting our messages. So I called her and left my number, and she e-mailed from her phone "can you tell me the reason for a phone call?" And this is someone we work with every day. Too much.

[dcalbrecht]

I am in sales dealing with fairly technical issues. If a customer has sent me an e-mail with a question, and it can be answered with an e-mail, usually simple yes/no, one sentence answers, I will certainly answer them via e-mail. Sometimes, however, the answer is too long or complicated to really be dealt with in an e-mail and/or, the customer keeps coming back with questions to get the matter/subject clarified. This is when the phone conversation is actually necessary. If I have had two or three follow up questions to the original e-mail, I will simply respond, "call me so we can go into greater detail". If they just sent the e-mail I will be proactive and call them immediately. One of the things that really burns me up is when they seem to think that they don't need to call and keep trying to e-mail me for the answer! That's when the response gets shorter "Please call me", then finally, "Call me". I can speak much faster than I can type (I think most people can), so let's get this issue resolved!!

Regards,

DA

[hessmj]

Perfect example. Thanks for commenting.

[ambrking]

The telephone is still one of the most effective means both for marketing and customer service. The reason for this is because of its capability of delivering immediate response. Like what Michael said, it allows both parties to a two way communication unlike other medium.

[jacvking]

Agree tht phone is effective and a good way of getting things done perhaps all the more powerful now that people don't use it so much.... Your last point is silly though. Are other people allowed to get annoyed when they email you and you return the message with a phone call? Probably not in your mind, but for them it might be intrusive and unecessary by basically demanding attention there and then whereas emails can be left until it is convenient to be intertupted (just saying..) There's room for both obviously and what is most appropriate can be a very personal thing that depends on a number of situational factors.

[hessmj]

Thanks for the comment, but I think the part you refer to as "silly" misses the operative word: *ask*. For sure, if I call or e-mail you and simply say "can you get back to me?" I don't have any expectation in terms of how you will reply. But if I specifically *ask*, as I said in the piece, the professional and courteous thing to do is accommodate and reply accordingly.

Again, I stree that I am not talking about sales calls, annoying/excessive requests or any of that, I am talking about a simple request from a colleague or other person with whom you are familiar.

Here's a good example, literally from yesterday. Someone e-mailed me with a list of 25 or so very detailed questions about a business transaction (none of which required having in something in writing for legal or any other reason). For me to write out all the answers in long form would have taken hours, whereas a phone conversation would deal with it all in a fraction of the time. So I replied to the e-mail (as that is what he requested), and explained just that to him. I told him there simply wasn't any way I could answer all of his questions in writing any time soon (I'd run out of pixels in my PC), and asked that we simply have a phone discussion. This is a situation where there is no other appropriate medium to handle the matter, and the "right" thing to do -- out of respect for his time and mine -- is to speak live.

Again, my point was very clearly about a specific request, and I think therein lies the difference between it and your comment about obligation. Hope that makes sense, and thanks again for posting.

[AceCharlie]

I began my professional career during a time when texting, email and instant messaging were not available. I could call someone, go see them, fax something to them or write a business letter, have it typed, correct it and have it re-typed or I could....call them on the telephone. Calling is still a great medium if both parties to the call are trustworthy and accountable to each other. It is common for co-workers, clients and vendors to misrepresent what was said during a phone conversation, and it becomes my word against theirs. I much prefer emailing someone now than calling so there is a record of the exchange. My manager gets frustrated when people in the office email each other when we are just cubicles apart and does not realize that we do this to protect ourselves from the less ethical among us. Also, I am much more productive and able to multitask when I use text and email in addition to the forced and unavoidable phone call or face to face interaction. When a dispute arises over what was said on the phone, the first response from management is "did you document those calls with a follow up email or letter?" If I have to document every call, why not skip the phone part and just send the message? Am I not more productive by doing that? It sure is easy to say "just pick up the phone and call them" if you do not have to live with the consequences of a call where the content of the discussion is disputed.

[hessmj]

Clearly anything truly important or "for the record" should always be in writing, just as it has always been. But really an key point of the whole discussion is that the vast majority of discussions are *not* the kind that require a written record.

As for the whole "CYA" issue that one or two people have brought up, that's a shame, but it's a matter of office politics and culture... there's no amount or type of communication that can resolve issues caused by a toxic or trust-challenged workplace. I have always hired people and managed my businesses for culture above all else, so in our environment and others like it, nothing gets in the way of quality communication. It's indeed a shame that this isn't true for much of corporate America.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[WHguy]

When people call me repeatedly and they get an email (not a return call), I'm trying to signal them that (a) they're calling too often about trivial matters, or (b) they're difficult to deal with and I want to keep them at arm's length. I want to be very clear in my communications with them so if they misunderstand, we can both point to what caused the misunderstanding.

Either way, an e-mail response is a definite signal that I don't enjoy talking with someone. Now if I won't talk with ANYONE, then I've got a problem. But if I won't talk with YOU, then maybe it's YOUR problem. If you're that person, ask around and see how others feel. They may not be willing to say you're a difficult person, but listen between the words . . . .

[bettyguzzi]

Don't you find, if you really think about it, that you have an instinctive line in the sand? I will IM, email, text and FB all day long with my fam, friends, team, clients, and most random strangers. But let the exchange reach a certain pitch, and I instinctively reach for a dialpad, though I am held to be a decent communicator in several media. Some things MUST be said and heard, if you want to be effective. Apologies never belong in any other medium but voice, for example, unless one or more party does not hear. Read an awesome blog by Tom Searcy, who suggested, and I paraphrase, 'one-up the connection', meaning get more intimate than necessary, when saying you're sorry. Most excellent advice!