Low Risk Ways to Speak Up in a Meeting

When I found myself working for a large organization, I had little experience making my voice heard in meetings. Previously, I had freelanced from my basement and was more comfortable talking 1:1 on the phone. But in meetings, I would want to ask questions (without sounding stupid), disagree (without sounding stupid or like a jerk), and offer opinions (without sounding stupid or seeming like I was trying to take over). See a theme?

Recently, Jodi Glickman covered this very subject -- how to interject in a meeting -- in the Harvard Business Review. Her advice lines up nicely with the tactics I've employed in my own meeting experiences.

Want to offer an opinion without necessarily getting your name attached to a bad idea? Glickman suggests these lead-in phrases:

• Have we thought about... (I do this one so often I might as well try to patent it.)
• Did anyone mention...
• Another option we might want to consider...

These are powerful phrases because you're seen as contributing to the conversation without taking ownership of the idea you're discussing.

Another common scenario: You are lost. It only takes a moment in a technical conversation to find you no longer know what the heck is going on. The good news is that it's not as bad as you might think to admit you're lost, as long as you're up front about it. You can sit there in utter bafflement, or try one of these:

• Forgive me if I'm a bit behind the 8-call, but I'm confused about...
• This might be a dumb question, but... (I use this one perhaps a little too often.)
• I'm sure I'm supposed to know this, but...

Finally, suppose you disagree but you don't want to sound like a jerk. Her suggestions:

• Be blunt: I respectfully disagree.
• Be cagey: Playing devil's advocate... (I do this one all the time.)
• Be provocative: I'd like to throw a curve ball here and suggest something very different...

Photo courtesy Flickr user Simon Blackley

[NderX]

You have the wrong idiom: "behind the eight-ball" = "in a difficult, almost unmanageable spot"; on the other hand, "a bit behind the [learning] curve" = "still playing catch-up in a situation relatively new to me" - this is a better alternative.

If you're really saying "behind the eight-ball" a lot in meetings - in a effort to not sound stupid - then you might want to revisit that.

[THEREIN29]

I think these are some good tips for new comers as well as experienced people who come from non English speaking backgrounds and chose to work in corporate America or similar English speaking Nations. The tact to present yourself becomes more important when you are in an authoritative position (e.g. A Project Manager) where English is not your primary language however you are addressing an English speaking team. Having the authority, if you are too nice to be rude, tactful language like this comes handy.

Besides I also agree with EYTANDALLAL around the whole accountability piece when it comes to voicing your opinion,idea, analysis, recommendation - where you are one who needs to take the ownership!!

[eytandallal]

I find that being quick to admit you don't know something is professionally courteous in a 1-on-1 conversation. Also, it can prevent you from looking foolish throughout the discussion. In a larger setting, however, it's best to wait until the end. I once sat through a 30-minute technical review where not one person asked a question (a red flag, for sure). At the end I said, "You reviewed the requirements brilliantly. But I'll be honest -- I didn't understand a single word you just said. It was alphabet soup to me. I don't know how many others here understood it either, so which department is responsible for signing off on this document?" Needless to say, no one in the meeting was ready to approve it either. Later, people told me that my comments "broke the ice" because they were too afraid to admit they didn't have a clue what was being said.

[RumanaS]

Amazing... I loved it and I totally Agree you Broke the Ice!

[eytandallal]

Good suggestions. I agree that tact is a critical technique to succeed in a professional world. However, when people in a meeting are sometimes too afraid to attach their name to an idea, or too afraid of what their peers/superiors will think of them, they tend to hide behind non-committal phrases or are too apologetic. Ownership of an idea (and taking it to the next level) is an important part of leadership, and if it gets diluted because the originator is risk averse then accountability is lost.

[mirage_1321]

'Forgive me if I'm a bit behind the 8-call, but I'm confused about...'
it's 8 ball as in billiards.

[sabine29]

Good article! I think especially women have a problem to speak up in meetings.. In earlier jobs, I had never had to speak up in front of people ...But my current positions requires me to participate in meetings.. I've always been a shy person and never felt comfortable to take part in discussions. Last year I finally decided to take professional training..that was very helpful..! There are specialized coached for all kinds of problems regarding to social anxieties..I found a great coach online...He supported me to be more confident and to overcome the hurdle..It is not, that I don't know about the theory..be prepared, practice in front of a mirror ect..but I couldn't make the final step on my own. I am now taking online coach lessons regularly, in particular the days before important meetings or when I have to make presentations. I really can recommend this training, because for me it was not only a work problem but a general anxiety to speak in public. (see e.g. Your 24hCoach.com) I just want to encourage all women to attack this problem. It's worth the effort, not only for the company...
Kind regards,
Sabine

[tramky]

If I hate my job--and that was definitely the case at my last corporate job, I couldn't care less about this stuff. I came to hate that job because all these suggestion only resulted in more abuse from management. Of course, this was the same management that was in charge when the company went publicly corrupt, then went into what was as the time the largest corporate bankruptcy in American history (that dubious record was later overtaken by Lehman Brothers).