Is another woman threatening your career?

istockphoto

(MoneyWatch) Remember the mean girls in junior high? You know who I'm talking about. They were popular because no one wanted to be on their bad sides, had the teachers convinced that they were angels and often had mothers who were just as bad as they were.

We all assumed they would grow out of it (although their mean mothers should have been a clue that this was hopeless). Not only didn't they grow out of it, they are now actively seeking to destroy your career, according to a Wall Street Journal article titled "The Tyranny of the Queen Bee." The author, Peggy Drexler, a psychology at Weill Cornell Medical College, is researching the "queen bee" phenomenon in business.

The idea of women who break through the glass ceiling into upper management also promote the careers of other women apparently doesn't happen often in the workplace. Indeed, Drexler defines a queen bee as "The female boss who not only has zero interest in fostering the careers of women who aim to follow in her footsteps, but who might even actively attempt to cut them off at the pass." 

• Are some women just too delicate for the workplace?
• Why I hate Salary.com's "What's a Mom Worth" survey
• The great career advice women give each other

Since women make up such a small percentage of leadership at companies -- only 2 percent of Fortune 500 companies -- some women may see female colleagues as competing for the limited spots at the top. The assumption is that men will always make up the large majority of a company's leadership, so any woman represents a competitor.

No doubt the standards used to evaluate women leaders seem in some ways to be gender-based. Yahoo CEO Melissa Mayer was not only criticized for her new policy of requiring all employees to work in the office, but criticized because as a woman she should be more concerned about a female friendly workplace. The message appeared to be that she should be a role model to other women. And what do women need? Flexibility -- otherwise they can't climb to the top.

But according to all accounts, Mayer herself had no flexibility until she built a nursery in her office. She was famous for her long hours. Why would women (or men, for that matter) who want a work-life balance look to someone who had no work-life balance as a role model? Because she's a woman? That's the only reason.

Queen bees rise to the top by squashing their competition, yet are expected to mentor and develop the very people they are trying hardest to stop. It seems like a recipe for failure. And, in fact, according to Drexler, "Women aren't always the best employees to other women either. Female subordinates can show less respect and deference to female bosses than to their male bosses."

Yet where are women sent when they want to be mentored? To other women. Writes one female game industry software programmer about her experience as a college student.

For example, I signed up to be part of the mentorship program at my university. As a student, I was paired up with an industry mentor each year. Despite my repeated requests for a mentor with similar interests, regardless of sex, I was ALWAYS paired up with a female mentor who spent her career in project management and never touched a line of code. You can't tell me there just happened to be a lack of mentors -- all of my male peers were given mentors from tech companies such as Amazon. Yet I finished at the top in my class for java development. HMM... !

Do we perpetuate the queen bee problem by sending talented, driven women to female mentors? Do we assume that they can only be taught by another women? And then when these women aren't willing to mentor we wring our hands wondering why there aren't more women at the top.

Have you ever been stung by a queen bee? Tell your story in the comments.

[Krisannnels]

Sadly I have found this to be true. I have held the position of VP of a company and had woman treat me with less respect than my male counterparts and also had a female president of a company not assist with my advancement within the company or my interest in buying the company when it was for sale. I believe she felt because I am a "woman" I wasn't as capable as a man that may offer to buy. I am hoping as new woman enter the workplace that this eventually changes. I believe we support who is best for the job and provide respect based on worth and not gender.

[marabsky]

I have had two outstanding mentors during my career - the first at the very beginning was a man, and the more recent was a woman. They were very different people, and I was at very different stages of my career, but they both were able to guide me to find the confidence and ability to solve problems and meet challenges head on. I owe them both deep gratitude, and their gender was irrelevant.

I have witnessed "Queen Bee" like behavior, but to be honest, it is seems to be bestowed up both men and women. Labels can be convenient, but (to mangle a metaphor) exceptional people seem to be exceptional in their own way - but difficult people are all an awful lot alike... regardless of gender.

But interesting article all the same. I am sure there is truth in it.

[theoutliermodel]

Thanks for including my blog post!

This is the first I've heard of the term "queen bee" but I definitely see aspects of it in my own life. I would definitely not go to any of my past female managers for mentorship. In comparison, my male managers have almost always been understanding and willing to teach me and help me navigate "the system". My technical director even told me today that it was his job to "shield me from outside demands" while I learn the ropes.

I think we do girls a disservice when we assume that guys are not able to mentor them.

-CF

[Random12345789]

Not sure if this exactly is in the same scope of the topic of the article, but I always did find this interesting...when I first started out in the corporate world when I was very young and very thin many older women were vicious to me. As I have gotten older and put on a few extra pounds it has actually helped my career and interactions with some of the more petty type of females.

[Wakening]

I would think that a woman may need a mentor to help her with the general issues of the job that everyone faces and a mentor that helps with the issues that only women may face. For example, the article points out that women subordinates are more likely to give women supervisors problems versus a male supervisor. A male mentor who has not experience that problem and may not even be aware that it exists is unlikely to have a solution that works. Not that it is not possible to find a male mentor that can help females with issue that are particular to females. It won't happen often enough.

[notdatkindacoke]

Good questions in this article. Especially about coding and being paired with a mentor based on gender. It would seem silly to require female culinary students to only study under the apprenticeship of other female chefs. Yet, somehow in IT and business, it is assumed that only other women know the secrets of the corporate ladder. If a woman has her eye on the top spot at the company (CEO), she is probably willing to stab both men and women in the back, and I wouldn't be looking for altruism and mentorship from such a person.